Nick Cannon, the ultimate multitasking dad and professional population booster, is gearing up for a Thanksgiving marathon that would make Santa’s Christmas Eve look like a lazy Sunday. With 12 kids spread across five households, Nick’s holiday plans aren’t just complicated—they’re a full-blown logistical nightmare worthy of its own reality show.
“It’s very complicated. I’m a busy man on Thanksgiving,” Nick told People, clearly auditioning for Understatement of the Year 2024. The day involves “a bunch of dinners,” which is basically code for eating his way through enough food to make a competitive eater wave a white flag.
And Nick isn’t just eating—he’s curating. This man has a mental spreadsheet of who makes the best sweet potato pie and whose fried turkey is worth the drive. “Everybody specializes in certain things,” he revealed, like a food critic who also happens to father half the guests. “Some people got good sweet potato pie, some people got amazing fried turkey.” (And we assume the rest are in charge of the cranberry sauce straight from the can. Someone’s gotta do it.)
Nick’s plan is simple: hit every house, enjoy the signature dish, and dodge any awkward conversations about whose kid just broke Grandma’s lamp. He’s basically the Thanksgiving version of James Bond, minus the gadgets but with way more gravy.
No word yet on whether he’s bringing Tupperware to each stop for leftovers, but let’s be honest—if anyone has mastered the art of feeding a small village, it’s Nick Cannon. Stay tuned for updates on whether he makes it through the day with his waistband intact.
