Robbie Williams Says Taking Fan Photos Feels Like a Horror Movie and He’s the Jump Scare

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Robbie Williams—yes, the cheeky chappy from Take That turned solo legend turned “please don’t ask for a selfie on this airplane”—has just spilled a whole tray of emotional tea on Instagram. And it’s piping hot with a splash of anxiety.

So, here’s the deal: Robbie says talking to strangers makes him want to curl up in a ball like a stressed-out hedgehog. Even familiar people get the internal sirens going. “I mask it well,” he confessed, proving once again that most celebs are basically Oscar winners just pretending to be fine while internally screaming.

Now imagine this: Robbie’s on a domestic flight in the U.S. It’s giving: tired dad energy, 4:30 a.m. wake-up call, two hours of sleep, four kids who probably think airplane seats are monkey bars. He’s just trying to survive. But the passengers? Oh, they spotted that famous cheekbone contour. First fan strolls over with a lovely note and a casual “Can I get a pic?” Robbie politely slides back a handwritten “please no,” which was basically the celebrity version of “I can’t even.”

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But the cabin has now entered “Selfie Hunger Games” mode.

Second fan swoops in mid-note-writing. Robbie’s like, “I have four kids to wrangle once this tin can lands. I’m running on vibes and vibes alone. Please, spare me.” Third fan? Didn’t even wait for the vibes. Just marched up and asked. Robbie gave in, probably out of sheer emotional surrender.

And look, he’s not trying to be mean. The man even says he sees making people happy as part of his job. It’s just… he’s not an animatronic Disney character. He’s not “on” 24/7. “People think they’re fans of me,” he says, “but really, they’re fans of fame. I’m the Big Ben of boy bands. They just want a picture with a monument.”

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Oof. Direct hit.

But don’t worry, Robbie’s not trying to scare off actual fans. He wants you to say hi if you’re legit into his music. If “Angels” saved your soul in 2002, please wave enthusiastically. But if you’re just thinking, “He looks vaguely famous, let me snap a pic and Google later,” maybe… don’t?

He even posed the big question: Should there be a daily limit on how many humans are allowed to approach a celebrity? Like a punch card system? Once 20 people ask, the celebrity turns invisible until midnight? Honestly, we’re listening.

Oh, and in case you weren’t already worried about him, Robbie also casually mentioned that he’s recently battled scurvy. Yes, like a Victorian sailor. And he’s been open about struggling with anxiety and depression, making it clear that sometimes he’s just not in the mood to smile and pose while his brain is doing somersaults.

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But don’t count him out—our guy’s going on tour in May across the UK, Ireland, and Europe, because even emotionally exhausted legends gotta pay the bills.

Paris Hilton commented, “This made me cry,” which is peak empathy energy from the heiress of “That’s hot.” And Paloma Faith was like, “Bro, SAME,” in slightly fancier words.

So next time you see Robbie Williams in the wild—maybe shepherding his children like a flustered tour guide—just give him a thumbs up. Maybe a head nod. Or, if you must ask for a selfie, at least offer a juice box first. Man’s fighting scurvy.

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