Once upon a time in the kingdom of Chuckles, we find ourselves knee-deep in the royal soap opera of addiction. No, not to the local mead or a secret stash of medieval Netflix, but to the miseries of a queen and the tales of a mischievous prince. Enter King Charles III, or as we affectionately call him, King Chuckles.
Our dear Chuckles has a penchant for two things – nagging about his queen and obsessively sending his entourage on a Harry and Meghan gossip relay. It’s like he’s the royal gossip cheerleader, but with a crown instead of pom-poms. The saga began in September 2022 when King Chuckles threw a media tantrum, proclaiming he’d personally banished Prince Harry from Meghan in Windsor. It was like a medieval Jerry Springer episode.
But hold on to your jesters’ hats, because the comedy continues! Harry, the rebel with a royal cause, decided to ring up his dear old dad on Chuckles’ 75th birthday. And lo and behold, the palace erupted into a frenzy of briefings. They’re like kids in a candy shop, but instead of candy, it’s gossip about Harry and Meghan. Can you imagine the excitement in the castle? “Hey, guys, Harry called again! Time for another briefing!”
Victoria Ward at the Telegraph dutifully played the royal scribe, documenting this momentous occasion. “Prince Harry and King to speak again next week after ‘turning point’ phone call,” she exclaimed, probably with a quill in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. We can almost hear the giggles from the royal gossip circle.
The King also chatted with Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Even little Archie and Lilibet, the miniature royals, joined the party. They reportedly recorded a video singing happy birthday to Grandpa Chuckles. The grandkids have only met him a handful of times, but hey, a virtual serenade should do the trick.
The fact that both sides are suddenly waving the white flag and pretending to be one big happy royal family is hailed as a positive sign. Chuckles must have felt like a weight lifted from his royal shoulders during his birthday dinner at Clarence House. I mean, who wouldn’t want to celebrate getting a call from Harry and a video from the grandkids they barely know?
In a bizarre turn of events earlier this year, Harry and Meghan were asked to “vacate” Frogmore Cottage. It’s like a medieval eviction notice, but with more tiaras. Yet, Chuckles was reportedly thrilled that Harry flew in for his Coronation. Ah, the joys of family dynamics in a kingdom far, far away.
And here’s the cherry on the royal cake – Chuckles, in all his royal wisdom, decided to let the palace staff spill the tea to the Telegraph about the adorable video from Archie and Lilibet. Because why keep a sweet family moment private when you can turn it into a royal PR stunt?
Despite the so-called “olive branch” and the laughter echoing through the castle, one can’t help but wonder if the Sussexes should keep a safe distance from this kingdom of royal shenanigans. After all, who needs this kind of drama when you can have your own happily ever after in sunny California?