So, guess who’s back and hungrier than ever? That’s right, it’s Armie Hammer, the man whose name was once synonymous with Hollywood—but then, you know, the whole cannibal scandal happened. The 38-year-old actor has decided to dive into the world of podcasting, because when life hands you scandal, you launch a podcast!
Welcome to The Armie HammerTime Podcast, where the motto is “Let’s chew the fat about my life!” For his premiere episode, Armie brought in fellow actor Tom Arnold, who must’ve really drawn the short straw that day. Together, they dished on Armie’s glorious return to the limelight. “I’ve been MIA for the last four years, but now I’m back! So, what are you gonna do, huh?” he said, presumably while munching on a snack that we hope is not human.
In their chit-chat, they tackled the burning question on everyone’s mind: does Armie Hammer have a cannibalism fetish? To which Armie responded with all the bravado of a man who’s just discovered a new flavor of ice cream. “It’s wild! I’m not going to lie, I kind of like the cannibal stuff now. I’m just like, ‘Hey, I’m a cannibal!’” Because who wouldn’t want to joke about a little light cannibalism, right?
He continued his food for thought, saying, “The accusations are the thing that make so much noise. Like, what makes more noise? ‘Armie Hammer is a cannibal’ or ‘Armie Hammer might not be a cannibal?’ Spoiler alert: the cannibal thing is way louder. But you don’t get an apology tour for this kind of stuff. Someone slings mud, and everyone just believes it, moving on with their lives while I’m here, trying not to chew on my own foot.”
Tom wisely pointed out that Armie has been working on himself these past few years—not to snag a sweet Hollywood gig, but to reach a level of zen where he no longer cares if he does. “We do all this self-improvement, not for jobs, but to chill out and just eat popcorn instead of people,” Armie added, probably while contemplating his next career move in the world of culinary arts.
In a twist worthy of a dramatic Hollywood script, Armie revealed that he had to sell his truck this summer. “Gas prices got so high, I just couldn’t afford it anymore. Let’s just say my culinary escapades are now on a budget!”
Armie Hammer is back, and he’s not just dishing out the gossip—he’s also serving up a hearty helping of self-reflection, all while keeping things hilariously light. Here’s hoping his podcast doesn’t get too spicy! 🍽️🎙️
