BREAKING: Glastonbury 2025 was less a music festival and more a full-blown celebrity fever dream dipped in glitter, chaos, and mild dehydration. Chelsea Handler, everyone’s favorite unhinged auntie with a WiFi password and a wine fridge, just dropped an Instagram recap that sent the internet into cardiac arrest.
And guess what? Paul “softboi supreme” Mescal and Gracie “I sing sad songs in lowercase” Abrams were boo’d up and looking extremely couple-coded in a selfie with Chelsea and Stella “yes, that McCartney” McCartney. Yes. The vibes were romantic. The lighting was giving vintage filter. The selfie? Pulitzer-worthy.
But hold onto your bucket hats because that was just the beginning. Chelsea’s Glasto gang also included:
- Anya Taylor-Joy serving ethereal alien energy with her husband Malcolm McRae (who may or may not be in a band no one can pronounce
- Cara Delevingne and her girlfriend Minke being cool in a way that made everyone else feel like they were in middle school PE
- Salma Hayek existing as a goddess among mortals
- Evan Ross (the most random but somehow essential Glasto player)
- And icons only Alanis Morissette and Brandi Carlile, who melted faces with their performances and high notes that summoned ancient spirits
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Oh, and spoiler alert, Gracie Abrams also performed because being talented and in love is apparently legal now.
Chelsea wrote on Insta:
“Glastonbury was epic… I had the best sherpas in the game. Cara and Stella and…other fun activities!!!!” Which we assume includes hiking, hallucinating, and soul bonding over overpriced tacos.
She also casually dropped this chaos bomb:
“I made a new Mexican friend who harassed me endlessly while only wearing pajamas. I am now in recovery. I don’t usually smoke, but…”
Chelsea… are you okay? Blink twice if the pajamas are still chasing you.
Bottom line: Glastonbury wasn’t a music festival. It was a celebrity hunger games in a muddy field. Love was in the air. Music was in the mud. And Chelsea Handler accidentally started a pajama cult.
#GlastonburyMadness #PaulAndGracieForever #ChelseaNeedsASpaDay
