Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin have allegedly called it quits again, and sources are saying, “Nah fr, this time it’s actually over.” Like… cue the Coldplay sadness piano and pour one out for the last indie-girl-meets-sensitive-rock-dad situationship of our era.
According to reports (and by “reports,” we mean a dramatic friend who probably cried while telling People magazine), “It feels final this time.” That’s code for: “They deleted each other on Find My Friends AND Spotify.” So yes. The breakup might actually be real.
These two have been together since 2017, which in Hollywood years is basically a silver anniversary. They’ve survived long-distance, Gwyneth Paltrow still existing, and Chris Martin’s obsession with whisper-singing into the wind—but not this. Not… whatever this was.
And plot twist: guess who Dakota was spotted dining with in New York City just after the breakup? Jennifer Lawrence. Aka Chris Martin’s ex-girlfriend from 2014–2015. Aka The Ghost of Coldplay Girlfriends Past™. Were they bonding over quinoa bowls and mutual Coldplay trauma? Were they plotting a girl-powered folk band to cover Fix You? Or did they just want a salad? The world may never know.
The last time Dakota and Chris were seen together was in January, holding hands and probably arguing about whether My Universe was a bop or a flop. Fast forward to June and it’s giving “soft launch of single Dakota Johnson who only wears sunglasses indoors and says things like ‘I’m actually dating myself now.’”
Anyway, stay tuned, because by the time you finish reading this, they might be back together again. Or married. Or Chris might have written a 12-minute Coldplay ballad called Dakota’s Moonlight Tears (feat. Post Malone).
2025 is wild, y’all.
BREAKING: Dakota Johnson & Chris Martin Break Up for the 4,000th Time, But This Time It’s Giving “Final Boss” Energy
Light a candle for Saint Jennifer of the Bronx, because Leah Remini just clapped back at those juicy rumors that she and Jennifer Lopez had a friend breakup so dramatic, even Real Housewives producers were taking notes.
So here’s the situation: Leah, Queen of Sass and High Ponytails, has finally addressed the whispers that she and her glam bestie JLo may have had a glittery falling-out. You know, the kind where one friend unfollows the other on Instagram and suddenly all of TikTok is in full-blown FBI mode.
Let’s rewind to the golden age of 2004: Paris Hilton was roaming the streets in low-rise jeans, and Leah met Jenny From The Block on a red carpet, probably bonding over lip gloss and anti-Scientology chants. The friendship blossomed like a well-watered ficus at a Beverly Hills spa. Leah was so in the inner circle she became godmother to JLo’s twins with Marc Anthony — Max and Emme — who are now somehow 17 years old (time is a scam, we’ve decided).
BUT THEN! (insert ominous thunder sound effect)
In August 2022, Leah was mysteriously MIA from Bennifer’s wedding extravaganza — a lavish affair full of doves, diamonds, and probably a hologram of Gigli apologizing for existing. The gossip mill erupted. Did Leah throw shade? Did she RSVP ‘no’ with a middle finger emoji? Did she just hate Ben’s back tattoo that much?!
Plot twist: she was just helping her daughter move into college. (Because she’s a mom and not a petty drama gremlin like the rest of us. Boring.)
Then came the eyebrow-raising twist: Leah did show up at Marc Anthony’s wedding to model Nadia Ferreira, sparking wild speculation that she was choosing Team Salsa over Team Benifer. Cue the “Leah’s a traitor!” fan fiction.
“Sometimes you don’t talk to people every day like you used to, but that doesn’t mean the love is lost. Friendships ebb and flow. That doesn’t mean we’re at odds.”
Translation: “We’re grown women with divorces, careers, and possibly a few Botox appointments between us. Chill.”
No catfight, no unfollowing, no sabotage. Just two powerhouse Latinas navigating life with sparkly nails, emotional resilience, and more ex-husbands than a ‘90s soap opera. ✨
Long live Leah & JLo. BFFs forever — just maybe with a few calendar conflicts and less frequent FaceTimes.
Leah Remini gets candid in this week’s cover story, opening up about the challenges—and the freedom—that came with leaving Scientology. Tap the link in our bio to know more about her current lifestyle.
Miranda Cosgrove just got Catfished by geography. 💅💔🗺️
In the first sneak-peek photo of Netflix’s upcoming cinematic rollercoaster The Wrong Paris, our queen Miranda (32, still aging backwards) reunites with Pierson Fodé (33, tall, hot, and previously seen trying to flirt with Carly Shay like his life depended on it in iCarly). Yep. That was his acting debut. Now he’s back, and probably still emotionally bruised from getting rejected by Carly on national Nickelodeon.
The Plot? Unhinged. We Love It.
Cosgrove plays a bright-eyed hopeful who signs up for a dreamy, rose-scented dating show in Paris. Ooh la la, right? WRONG. Try Paris, Texas, where the Eiffel Tower is made of scrap metal and probably has a raccoon living in it.
Once Miranda realizes she’s in cowboy country and not sipping wine on the Seine, she tries to get booted off the show faster than you can say “passport fraud.” But plot twist! The show’s bachelor is Pierson Fodé, and this man looks like a romantic plotline dipped in cologne and cowboy charisma. Suddenly, Miranda’s “get me outta here” strategy turns into “yeehaw maybe I love him?”
Who Else Is In This Yeehaw Frenzy?
Oh just a whole squad of chaos icons:
Madeleine Arthur – certified scene-stealer
Madison Pettis – Disney royalty, now grown and dangerous
Hannah Stocking – chaos queen of the internet
Plus: Frances Fisher, Yvonne Orji (YES), Torrance Coombs (the medieval thirst trap), Christin Park, Emilija Baranac, Veronica Long, Naika Toussaint, and Ava Bianchi. This cast list is giving “we made friendship bracelets and trauma bonded on set.”
Directed by:
Janeen Damian, who clearly woke up and chose romantic comedy anarchy — and we salute her for it.
When Can I Watch This Beautiful Mess? The Wrong Paris drops on September 12th on Netflix — just in time for cuffing season confusion and cowboy-themed heartbreak.
Final Thoughts:
This movie is a chaotic blend of The Bachelor, Emily in Paris, and a rodeo clown’s fever dream. Miranda Cosgrove thought she was getting croissants, and instead got chili dogs and feelings. And honestly? Same, girl. 🍷🐄🇫🇷❌
Stream it. Scream about it. Start an ironic cowboy hat trend on TikTok. Yeehaw, heartbreak never looked so chic.
Here's your first look at Miranda Cosgrove and Pierson Fodé in The Wrong Paris. Premiering September 12.
A woman desperate to get to France talks herself into a reality dating show set in Paris. Only to discover the show is actually in Paris, Texas. pic.twitter.com/S37sKsT0Sg
Taylor Swift has officially become the Supreme Empress of Her Own Discography and guess who’s in the corner, fangirling with a protein shake in one hand and a Super Bowl ring in the other? TRAVIS. FREAKIN’. KELCE.
On the latest episode of the “New Heights” podcast (aka the Kelce Brother Kiki Klub), Travis and his football-turned-podcast partner Jason invited none other than basketball Yeti-turned-DJ Shaquille O’Neal. Yes, it was sports meets sports meets music royalties, and the testosterone levels were astronomical.
Shaq, bless his vinyl-loving heart, fired up the speakers and casually dropped Taylor’s “I Knew You Were Trouble” like it was 2012 again and we were all wearing galaxy leggings. Cue the brotherly grins — Jason and Travis lit up like two dudes watching their team win AND their fantasy football lineup hit simultaneously.
Then Travis, looking like a golden retriever who just learned his girlfriend now owns a record label and possibly the moon, declared to the world: “Shout out to Tay Tay. Just got that song back, too. Just bought all her music back so it’s finally hers, man. I appreciate that, dog. Love you, big dog.”
Did this NFL man just call the international pop princess “big dog”? YES. YES HE DID. And honestly? Iconic. This is the kind of raw, poetic support Shakespeare WISHES he could’ve written.
ICYMI, Taylor bought her masters back from Shamrock Capital (aka The Vault Goblins™ who were renting out her songs like Airbnbs), finally ending her era of musical indentured servitude. She re-recorded half her discography like a glitter-covered phoenix rising from a pile of Grammy nominations, and now? SHE OWNS IT ALL. Every guitar twang. Every ex-boyfriend ballad. Every breathy bridge. HERS.
So if you see Travis flexing a little harder than usual this week, it’s not just gym gains — it’s boyfriend pride. His lady owns her entire empire now. He’s not just dating a pop star…
He’s dating the CEO of Feelings, Breakups, and Billboard #1s Inc.
And somewhere, Scooter Braun just dropped his oat milk latte.
In today’s episode of “Celebrity Men Getting Emotionally Wrecked by Women Way Out of Their League,” Benny Blanco is out here spinning pure, chaotic, romantic gold in a new interview with InStyle — and yes, it’s as unhinged and adorable as you’re hoping for.
💋 “I Kissed So Many Frogs, I Got Warts”
Benny Blanco, a man who looks like he owns at least five pairs of Crocs and a vintage lava lamp, is currently floating through life like a love-struck Disney prince. Why? Because he gets to kiss Selena Gomez. On the mouth. Regularly. Legally.
“I met Selena when she was 16,” he says, casually dropping a meet-cute prequel that sounds like it was ripped straight from a Wattpad fanfic titled “From Studio to Soulmate.”
“They say you’ve probably already met the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with… I thought that was Hallmark card crap — and then BAM. Plot twist: it’s real. Now I get to kiss her! I manifested my own fairytale, and spoiler alert — there’s kissing.”
🐸 On Kissing Frogs and Dodging F–kboys
Benny didn’t just stumble into romance like a rom-com extra. No, no. This man has seen things.
“I’m 37 years old. I hope I know how to treat a woman by now,” he confesses. “You ask her what she wants to do. You shut up about yourself. You try not to be a douche. And then — oops! — you mess it up. A lot.”
How much frog-kissing did it take to land a real-life Disney princess like Selena? “So many frogs, dude. Beautiful frogs. But frogs, nonetheless. I kissed them all. It was like a Grimm Brothers horror montage.”
He also offered this PSA: “Ladies, don’t settle for a man who uses more hair gel than you. If his forehead reflects light like a car windshield, RUN.”
👶 Benny Blanco: Future Daddy (Maybe, Hopefully, Please Universe)
“I love kids,” Benny said, probably while watching a baby goat video and weeping. “I love being an uncle. But I want to be a dad. Like full-time, dad-mode, embarrassing jokes and everything. I’m dreaming and praying on it. Manifesting a Baby Blanco every day.”
Honestly? We’re not ready for a tiny human that shares DNA with Selena Gomez. The world would collapse under the cuteness.
🎶 Taylor Swift: The Gateway Drug to Benny’s Swiftie Obsession
Before Selena Gomez handed him the aux cord and changed his life, Benny was out here just…existing. But now? Now he’s a full-blown Swiftie, badge and all.
“In the car, we have our little Swiftie moments,” he says like a man who definitely knows all the lyrics to “All Too Well (10-Minute Version).”
“She plays the deep cuts. Like, the deep DEEP cuts. I’m talking ‘Cornelia Street’ emotional damage level. And I’m like, ‘Damn… Taylor’s pen? Is on FIRE.’”
Welcome to the club, Benny. There’s no way out. You now cry over fictional breakups from 2012. It’s the law.
🏞️ On Sleeping in Train Stations and Being Raised by a Real One (Hi Mom!)
Before he was kissing pop stars and producing hits, Benny was sleeping in Times Square McDonald’s like a gremlin with a dream.
“I told my mom I was in the studio with Britney Spears. She said, ‘No, you’re not.’ And I was like, ‘Wanna bet?’”
Even when his songs hit the charts, she hit him back with, “What’s your backup plan though?” Iconic behavior.
Also iconic? His mom gave him a crash course in emotional intelligence while she was busy living her own dating reality show.
“She’d sit me down and explain the female brain like she was narrating a nature documentary. Honestly? Thanks, Mom. You built a wife-ready man.”
☀️ Final Mood: Benny Blanco Wakes Up “Stoked” Like a Surfer Who Just Got Engaged on a Mountain
Despite everything — or maybe because of it — Benny lives life on a permanent serotonin high. “I’ve had some tough times,” he says, “but I’ve always been a really happy person. I just wake up stoked every day.”
He’s in love, he’s emotionally available, and he’s ready to make babies. He’s basically the human version of a golden retriever who produces platinum albums.
TL;DR: Benny Blanco is out here simping so hard for Selena Gomez he’s about to float into space like a lovesick helium balloon. He’s crying over Taylor Swift lyrics, dreaming of tiny baby shoes, and dropping the most chaotic, frog-kissing dating wisdom we’ve heard since “Kermit Unplugged.”
Godspeed, King. We’re rooting for you.
Benny Blanco Says Selena Gomez Is His Fairytale Queen, Taylor Swift Turned Him Into a Swiftie Cult Member, and He’s Ready to Be a DILFBenny Blanco Says Selena Gomez Is His Fairytale Queen, Taylor Swift Turned Him Into a Swiftie Cult Member, and He’s Ready to Be a DILFBenny Blanco Says Selena Gomez Is His Fairytale Queen, Taylor Swift Turned Him Into a Swiftie Cult Member, and He’s Ready to Be a DILFBenny Blanco Says Selena Gomez Is His Fairytale Queen, Taylor Swift Turned Him Into a Swiftie Cult Member, and He’s Ready to Be a DILF
Stop everything and put down your oat milk latte because Salma Hayek just pulled up to a high school graduation looking like a billion-dollar unicorn and brought Supermodel Peace Treaty Energy with her. ✨💅
Yes, darling — Salma, 58, goddess of skincare and spicy Instagram captions, hit up step-son Augustin “Augie” James Evangelista’s high school graduation like it was the Cannes red carpet, and she did it shoulder-to-shoulder with none other than Augie’s bio-mama: the Linda Evangelista. Yes, that Linda. The “I-don’t-get-out-of-bed-for-less-than-$10,000” Linda. The co-parenting has entered its Haute Couture Era.
Let’s rewind this soap opera timeline real quick:
🍼 2005: Billionaire fashion daddy François-Henri Pinault dated Linda Evangelista.
👶 2006: Baby Augie is born into the world, probably wearing a Gucci onesie.
💘 2006 (literally a few months later!): Salma Hayek enters stage left.
💍 2009: Salma and François tie the knot, probably using a golden rope woven by angels.
👶 Again: They welcome daughter Valentina, who probably had a better baby shower than your entire wedding.
Now back to present day: Augie just graduated, and the group chat of the rich and gorgeous exploded with love.
Salma, unable to resist a sentimental flex, posted photos that scream “family, but make it editorial,” and wrote:
“Augie!!! We are so PROUD 🥹 of you — congratulations for becoming the extraordinary young man that you are and managing to still be our lovely boy… and congratulations to Linda, François and all the parents who got our babies up to this point. Easier said than done 🎓.”
Translation: He’s grown up, but we still own his childhood in matching Dolce & Gabbana.
Linda, being the supermodel queen she is, replied with a perfectly minimalist red-heart emoji and prayer hands.
Then, on her Instagram, she gave us a humble-brag prayer circle:
“Then this happened. 🎓♥️✨🙏🏻 I’m one proud momma. Blessed blessed blessed…”
Which is model-speak for: He graduated without ever getting a B, catching bad lighting, or wearing non-designer socks.
Augie graduated. Salma served spiritual godmother realness. Linda brought angel vibes in heels. François just stood there looking like a French CEO of Feelings. And co-parenting? Oh honey, it has never looked this editorial.
Moral of the story: Get you a blended family that looks this expensive. 🥂📸✨
Cara Delevingne just had the gayest Sunday this side of the rainbow and we are obsessed.
The 32-year-old walking cheekbone sculpture / model / chaos agent was crowned “Guardian Icon” (which sounds like a superhero who fights homophobia with glitter cannons) at the 2025 WeHo Pride Parade, and let me tell you—she showed up and showed OUT.
Cara didn’t just stroll in like a regular Pride attendee. Oh no. Our girl rode through the streets of West Hollywood like a bisexual Beyoncé, perched on the back of a convertible with the wind in her eyebrows and love in the air. She brought the whole glitter gang: her insanely cool girlfriend Minke (real name Leah Mason, but we’re sticking with Minke because it sounds like a DJ-slash-mermaid), Adwoa Aboah (fashion icon slash probably part-time fairy), and Tallulah Bernard, whose name alone deserves its own parade float.
Cara later blessed our eyeballs with pics on Instagram and casually captioned one with, “Pride was pretty pretty gay you guys…”, as if she didn’t just redefine gay joy by existing.
She added, “Happy Pride 🏳️🌈! Thank you so much @wehopride for having us. ❤️” which is code for: “I rode through the streets with my hot girlfriend, the queers screamed, and I’ve never been more powerful.”
Let’s talk Minke for a sec: this musical goddess with the voice of an indie angel and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass has been linked to Cara since 2022, but their love story? It started at boarding school, aka the sapphic origin story of our dreams. Plot twist: they reconnected years later and decided to live out a fanfic-level romance in real life.
Cara Delevingne rode a rainbow chariot through West Hollywood with her girlfriend, looked like the patron saint of sapphics, and reminded us that Pride is about love, community, and looking really hot in slow motion on a convertible.
Some celebrities post thirst traps, Cara lives one.
This story has everything: beatdowns, brown paper bags, FaceTime fumbles, NDAs with more clauses than Santa’s contract, and a man making $10.50/hour who found himself negotiating hush-money deals like he was in a Scorsese film. Let’s dive into DiddyGate 3000™, starring one terrified hotel security guard and a music mogul doing the absolute most to keep his reputation (and his surveillance tapes) locked down.
Scene One: The Hotel, The Tape, The “Oh No”
It’s 2016. Beyoncé’s “Formation” is fresh. Pokémon Go is ruining traffic. And at the InterContinental in L.A., a security guard named Eddy Garcia is just trying to do his job—watch cameras, sip stale coffee, and not get involved in celebrity drama.
Well. About that.
Eddy, who probably thought his wildest night at work would involve a minibar robbery, ends up watching a surveillance video of what he later realizes is Sean “Diddy” Combs allegedly attacking Cassie. At the time, he had no clue who they were. Just two people, acting like WWE was happening in a luxury suite.
Law enforcement wasn’t called. No one asked for an ambulance. And Eddy? He was just trying to stay in his lane… until Kristina Khorram (Diddy’s chief of staff, not a Bond villain, despite the name) came in hot asking for the tape.
Eddy, being a professional (read: terrified), told her: “Subpoena, sweetie.”
But then… the call came.
Yes. That call.
Scene Two: FaceTime of the Rich & Infamous
First, Kristina rang. Then Diddy himself hopped on the phone, practically pleading, “That tape’s gonna end me, bro!”
Eddy reminded him: “I don’t even have server access.”
Diddy: “I got you, fam. I can take care of you.”
Translation? Cha-ching.
Eddy floated the idea to his boss, who responded like a Vegas bookie: “$50K and it’s yours.”
Diddy said, “Done. But I want the only copy. Not a bootleg, not a TikTok snippet. DELETE. IT. ALL.”
Diddy even pulled Cassie into a FaceTime to double-confirm she didn’t want that tape to see the light of day. According to Eddy, she co-signed: “Yeah, not the vibe right now.” (Which is probably the politest way to refer to a felony assault video.)
Scene Three: The NDA & The Paper Bag of Doom
In true cloak-and-dagger fashion, an NDA was signed—one that basically said:
Say nothing.
Burn everything.
Violate this and you owe a million bucks.<
Was the NDA read?
Eddy: “No, I was shaking like a leaf in a wind tunnel.”
Same, bestie.
Then, as if he were auditioning for a role in Ocean’s Eleven: Celebrity Scandal Edition, Diddy returns with a brown paper bag and a money counter—yes, like the kind you see in drug cartel documentaries.
He starts counting:
$10K.
Another $10K.
Rinse, repeat.
Until he hits $100,000.
Apparently, the OG deal was $50K, but Diddy was feeling generous-ish. The extra cash was for the other security guards, making this the first time in history someone paid a six-figure bribe in exact increments like a rapper-turned-accountant.
Eddy’s cut? $30,000.
What did he buy? A used car. (Sir… you could’ve at least gone full opulence and bought a vintage convertible or a yacht with a hole in it.)
Diddy also offered life advice:
“Don’t make any big purchases.”
Aka: “Don’t be dumb, don’t buy a Lambo, and for the love of God, don’t flex on Instagram.”
Scene Four: Holy Texts & Job Hunting
Later, on Easter, Diddy texts Eddy:
“Happy Easter my angel, God is good.”
Right after making it rain to cover up an alleged assault.
God probably did not co-sign that message, FYI.
Oh, and yes—Eddy did ask about a job with Diddy’s company after all this. Because clearly, nothing says “potential hire” like helping your new boss bury evidence.
But then the real problem came: the cops.
When investigators came knocking, Eddy allegedly fibbed harder than a guy on Hinge who says he’s 6’2″. But then he got a lawyer, got a little scared, and decided to tell the truth-ish.
Eddy Garcia went from $10.50/hour night shift security guard to bag man in a hip-hop thriller in the blink of a FaceTime.
The moral of the story?
Don’t sell surveillance footage.
NDAs with million-dollar penalties are not your friend.
And if Diddy ever says “God is good” while handing you hush money in a Trader Joe’s bag—RUN.
This has been a bonkers dispatch from the reality show we’re all trapped in, called Earth.
Diddy, NDAs & Dollar Bills: The Security Guard Confessions You Absolutely Did Not Have on Your 2025 Bingo Card
Okay, everybody remain calm — Sabrina Carpenter, pop princess, chaotic genius, and patron saint of petty, just dropped some major musical mayhem on us. No, it’s not a surprise album, a tour, or a collab with a haunted toaster (we’d stream). It’s something better.
Her new song “MANCHILD” is landing this Thursday like a meteor of glitter, sass, and emotional damage aimed directly at emotionally stunted men everywhere.
💅 “this one’s about you!!” she teased, presumably pointing at every guy who owns 12 hoodies, no bedsheets, and thinks “going through something” is a personality.
And babes — THE ARTWORK. Sabrina is giving “desert Barbie hitchhiking to her final nerve.” She’s rocking a white button-down tied into a DIY bra (who needs Victoria’s Secret when you’ve got vengeance and a vision?) and Daisy Dukes so dangerously short they probably violate at least five traffic laws.
But wait, there’s more chaos incoming…
This isn’t just a digital drop — oh no, you can also preorder a 7-inch vinyl. That’s right, she said “let me bring your emotional instability to a physical format.” Side B isn’t just any random bonus track either. No no. It’s literally called:
“inside of your head when you’ve just won an argument with a man.”
HELLO??? A cultural reset. A masterpiece. A spiritual experience. A psychological thriller. A national treasure.
Mark your calendars, light a candle, delete his number (again), and set your alarms for Thursday, June 5th at 8pm EST because this song is coming to snatch wigs, burn egos, and possibly cause a minor gender crisis.
Check out the teaser video below — and try not to scream. Or do. Sabrina would want that. 💋💔🛻
Emotionally prepare your early-2000s playlist because Ashlee Simpson Ross (yes, that Ashlee) is crawling out of our nostalgic teen diaries and into Las Vegas, and honestly? We’re emotionally unstable about it.
Cue the eyeliner, trucker hats, and emotional lip-syncing—Ashlee is BACK.
The 40-year-old queen of “Pieces of Me” and perfectly-timed SNL jig-sidesteps is launching her “I Am Me” residency at Voltaire, the sparkliest little venue inside the Venetian Resort. The slayage will commence on August 29 & 30, right in time for Labor Day Weekend—which means: you, Ashlee, and a frozen margarita all crying to “La La.” Pure American poetry.
Ashlee dropped the news with the kind of drama we deserve:
“I’ve been holding onto this news for a while,” she confessed to IconicHipster.com, clutching her pink Motorola Razr (probably). “Music is where I feel most alive, and I’m ready to throw glitter at your souls. Let’s make these shows unforgettable—like, ‘falling off the stage mid-split’ unforgettable.”
Expect a Setlist That Hits Harder Than Puberty
You’re getting “Pieces of Me,”“La La,” maybe even “Boyfriend” (justice for Boyfriend), plus whatever else she digs up from her MySpace vault. Will she bring out husband Evan Ross? Maybe. Will there be a dramatic acoustic version of “Shadow” while a single tear falls down her cheek? Hopefully.
It’s been 84 years since her last solo album (Bittersweet World, 2008—an underrated bop factory), but Ashlee’s got that pop-punk soul and she’s about to resurrect it on the Vegas strip like it’s 2004 and she’s wearing fingerless gloves again.
Tickets? Cheap Thrills, Baby.
You can snag a ticket for $65 at voltairelv.com which is literally less than one cocktail in Vegas, so budget wisely. Doors open at 9 p.m., so wear something emo but expensive. Bonus points if you smell vaguely like Hot Topic and teen angst.
Get ready to scream “I AM ME” at full volume while surrounded by millennials in Von Dutch caps—this is not a drill.
Vegas, prepare yourself. Ashlee’s coming in hot, eyeliner first.
So, picture this: Dakota Johnson, goddess of chill chaos and cheeky charm, strolls into The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon looking like a walking Oscar statuette dipped in sultry elegance… except her dress was having a full-on identity crisis. We’re talkin’ neckline so low, even gravity was like, “Ma’am, are you sure?”
Homegirl sits down, gives Jimmy one look and straight up declares, “This is the wrong outfit.” Now THAT’S an opening line. It’s giving vulnerability meets couture panic.
Jimmy, ever the supportive golden retriever in a blazer, tells her she looks amazing (facts) but also nervously suggests, “Maybe just… don’t move?” Sir. She is literally breathing. That’s already risky business in this dress.
And then, in true Dakota fashion, she hits us with the chef’s kiss line: “My eyes are up here!”
BOOM. That’s the sound of the entire audience spiraling into giggle-induced CPR.
But wait—there’s more. For the next few minutes, it’s like a high-stakes game of boob Jenga. Dakota’s doing posture Olympics to keep the girls from launching a surprise attack, and at one point she even says: “Tell me if there’s a problem. Keep my posture real good. Does anyone have, like, a blanket I could wear?”
Girl was ready to transform from red carpet slay to grandma at a cabin, just to avoid national nipplegate.
Jimmy, desperate to help but armed only with dad energy and pocket squares, offers up a dainty little handkerchief like she’s about to sneeze modesty back into her outfit. Spoiler: It would’ve covered maybe half a sequin.
Honestly, the whole interview felt like a rom-com in itself: one woman, one plunging neckline, one talk show host, and one very thin piece of fabric standing between dignity and daytime TV censorship.
And yes, the interview is online, so go watch the fashion thriller of the year. Think Mission: Impossible but with cleavage.
P.S. Dakota’s new movie Materialists drops June 13, and if it’s even half as dramatic as her dress was, we’re getting popcorn.
Y’ALL. Hold onto your bedazzled eyebrows and Swarovski-encrusted Crocs because Miley Cyrus just cracked open the glittery vault of Met Gala secrets — and it’s chaos, couture, and a tiny bit of existential dread. 🍸👗✨
So here’s the tea steeped in sequins: Miley, queen of “Wrecking Ball” and “I licked a sledgehammer and made it fashion,” rolled up to the 2025 Met Gala looking divine in Alaïa. But plot twist — Alaïa didn’t have a table. No table. Nada. Not even a little stool. Basically, Miley was out there floating around the Met Gala like a couture ghost haunting the halls of high fashion. 👻
“I was wearing Alaïa, who does not have a table, so I was kind of the misfit,” she spilled on The Interview podcast, probably while sipping oat milk out of a diamond-encrusted chalice. “Which I’m always okay with. I’m used to that. It was fine.”
FINE? Girl, that’s Met Gala exile! Imagine strutting around in a $60,000 dress with nowhere to sit except maybe Anna Wintour’s icy glare or the bar stools next to a guy dressed like a bejeweled garden hose. 🚫🍽️
But Miley, being the legend she is, came through with a genius suggestion that would change the game:
“I think they should add that you get a plus one for your stylist.”
And honestly??? Yes. YES. 1000x yes. Why are we bringing tech bros and fashion-challenged boyfriends when we could be bringing the person who made us look like a Greco-Roman disco goddess? Stylists are the unsung heroes of the Met, hiding behind velvet ropes and last-minute emergency sewing kits.
Miley’s basically saying: bring the people who actually know what they’re doing — not someone who thinks “Haute Couture” is a French DJ. 🎧👠
So next year, if you see someone sashaying down the carpet with a blow dryer in one hand and a look of pure stress in the other? That’s a stylist. And thanks to Miley, they finally got their invite. 🫶
Raise your rhinestone martinis for fashion justice, people! 🥂
Joe Alwyn — yes, the soft-spoken British prince of quiet luxury and brooding glances — has just sent the internet into a SPIRAL by posting… wait for it… a four-leaf clover. That’s right. A PLANT. A leafy green. A lucky lil’ sprig of chaos.
Let’s rewind the reality show real quick.
Joe, 34, once lived in the glittering, bejeweled fairy tale that was a six-year romance with Taylor “Eras Tour Billionaire Queen” Swift, 35. Not only did he date the global pop juggernaut, he even helped her write songs. Yep. He dipped his toes in the glitter-glue cauldron of Taylor’s songwriting sorcery, earning co-writing credits and probably a few friendship bracelets.
Then came The Great Breakup of 2023™ — Swifties cried, Joe blinked stoically in beige, and the world moved on… until it didn’t.
Enter: March 12, 2025. Joe Alwyn — who posts on Instagram approximately once every seven moon cycles — casually shares a photo of a four-leaf clover. Seems innocent, right? Cute! Festive! Harmless botanical content! Or IS IT???
Just DAYS before this verdant photo dump, Taylor had snatched back her MASTER RECORDINGS from Shamrock Capital like a glittery Thanos collecting the final Infinity Stone. (All six albums now belong to Mother, praise be.)
So naturally, the Swiftie nation dove into full FBI-meets-Astrology-TikTok meltdown mode.
“He posted a clover. SHAMROCK Capital. CLOVERS. SHAMROCKS. OMG HE KNEW.”
TikTok, in its infinite chaotic glory, blew up with theories that Joe was secretly supporting Taylor’s power move from afar — via flora.
Some fans are not buying it, commenting things like:
“He posted it on March 12. St. Patrick’s Day was literally that weekend. Y’all need sleep.”
Others, however, are lighting a candle, grabbing their sage bundles, and BELIEVING:
“He’s happy for her, that’s all.”
“I want to believe this so bad. Let me dream.”
Could Joe be subtly cheering on his ex through the ancient magic of Irish greenery? Or did he just post a seasonal thirst trap for people who like vibes and lucky leaves?
Nobody knows. But what we do know is: the Swiftie Internet can and will connect ANY dot to the Taylor Cinematic Universe.
We’re talking about people who can decode album Easter eggs with more precision than NASA lands rovers on Mars.
So is Joe Alwyn a secret supporter? A covert clover-grammer? Or just a man vibing with nature?
Either way, his one (1) leaf has launched millions of tabs open across girlie laptops everywhere, and for that, we thank him.
End scene.
Joe Alwyn Posts a Random Leaf and Swifties Lose Their Collective Minds – Conspiracy, Shamrocks, and Possibly Witchcraft?
Zaya Wade just turned 18 and threw a birthday bash so fabulous it made the Met Gala look like a PTA bake sale.
Enter: The Venus Ascension Ball. No, that’s not the name of a new Marvel movie—it’s the actual theme of Zaya’s otherworldly soirée. Think intergalactic glam, queer joy, high fashion, higher vibes, and probably a few aliens crying glitter tears of admiration. Held at NeueHouse Hollywood (because where else do you celebrate cosmic royalty?), this wasn’t just a party—it was a statement, a movement, a transmission from the future.
Front and center were her dad Dwyane Wade (retired NBA legend, now full-time #GirlDad icon) and stepmom Gabrielle Union (actress, activist, forever snatched). And because Gabrielle cannot simply exist without dropping poetic truth bombs, she hopped on Instagram and served up a caption that made the entire internet sob into their oat milk lattes.
“Your transparency should be studied, @zayawade,” she wrote, probably while levitating on a cloud of empowerment and good brows. “They say parents are the ones to raise and show their children ‘the way,’ but you’ve been the one to show us what true strength, vulnerability, and love really look like.”
Translation: Zaya is the blueprint. The path. The glowing beacon of Gen Z magic.
“At just 18, you’ve already shown the world what it means to be brave.”
We don’t know about you, but when we turned 18, we were still afraid to make phone calls. Meanwhile, Zaya is out here launching orgs, healing the culture, and redefining what courage looks like—in heels.
Speaking of healing, the birthday bash also doubled as a celebration of the one-year anniversary of Translatable, the nonprofit Zaya and Dwyane launched to support LGBTQIA+ youth and help families stop being weird and start being supportive. It’s like a cosmic hotline for identity, self-expression, and parental enlightenment.
And then—plot twist—MAC Cosmetics rolled in and casually dropped $100,000 like it was spare change in honor of Zaya’s birthday, all for the Trans Wellness Center. Did someone say philanthropic realness?
The check presentation was so dramatic it probably came with a fog machine and a Beyoncé wind fan. (We can neither confirm nor deny this. But we spiritually know it’s true.)
So yes, Zaya Wade is now 18. But more importantly, she’s already operating at Oprah x Supernova x Time Traveler energy. The rest of us? Just trying to find matching socks.
Happy Ascension, Queen Zaya. The galaxy is watching—and it’s obsessed. 👑✨🚀
In the wild world of cinematic sequels, where anything can happen (yes, anything—even Paul Blart got a sequel), Julie Bowen is somehow still teeing off in the Happy Gilmore universe like it’s 1996 all over again.
The 55-year-old Modern Family icon, who once smooched Adam Sandler on a golf course before it was trendy, is back in action for Happy Gilmore 2. But according to Julie, she almost didn’t dust off her putter because she thought she was being replaced… by none other than Hollywood’s most internet-swooned bombshell, Sydney Freakin’ Sweeney.
Cue dramatic movie trailer voice: “One woman. One golf cart. One chance to reclaim her place as Sandler’s swing-side sweetheart.”
In an interview with IconicHipster.com, Julie spilled the tea and the Titleist. “I thought, ‘Well I won’t be in it. And that was OK — like, it’s been 30 years, Virginia Venit probably retired to Boca Raton and only dates men named ‘Chip,’” she joked (probably). “He’s got a hottie now. He’s got some little bitty on the side, like a cart girl. As a matter of fact, my own child told me, ‘Mom, they’re doing a sequel and Adam’s love interest is Sydney Sweeney.’”
Yes. Her teenager broke the news like TMZ with a driver’s license.
Julie’s response? “I was hurt. Deeply. But also, mad respect. I mean—it’s Sydney Sweeney. That girl could make a golf visor look haute couture.”
So imagine her surprise when she got the actual call confirming that, nope, she was still Sandler’s ride-or-die (or at least, his ride-or-tee). “I was like, ‘Are you sure? Me? Not, like… Sydney on a hoverboard?’”
Plot twist! Julie’s back, baby. Virginia Venit 2.0. And she’s bringing the sass, the swing, and probably a massive bottle of sunscreen.
Happy Gilmore 2 drops July 25 on Netflix, so get ready for Sandler, Bowen, and—who knows—maybe a surprise Sweeney cameo with a golf club and vengeance.
And to Sydney Sweeney: if you’re reading this, Julie’s watching.👀⛳
At #TUDUM 2025, Julie Bowen reveals she was shocked to be asked to come back for a #HappyGilmore sequel
A wild Miley Cyrus has emerged from her luxury lair (read: hotel) in New York City — and baby, she didn’t just step out, she strutted like the sidewalk owed her rent money.
On Sunday, June 1st, the 32-year-old human glitter bomb and part-time wrecking ball enthusiast blessed the sidewalks of NYC wearing a leather mini skirt so sharp it could slice through a ham, square sunglasses that screamed “I own three yachts and your man,” and stilettos so pointy they could legally be classified as medieval weaponry.
Naturally, a gaggle of adoring fans had already assembled like moths to a very expensive, Gucci-scented flame. Did Miley ignore them? Absolutely not. She paused. She posed. She signed autographs. She took selfies. She radiated the kind of chaotic glamor that makes the moon jealous.
And why was Queen Miley in such a great mood? Oh, just a tiny little thing called DROPPING HER NINTH STUDIO ALBUM. It’s titled Something Beautiful (which, honestly, could also describe her cheekbones).
To celebrate the sacred occasion, Miley didn’t just throw a party — she ambushed joy itself. Our patron saint of pop popped up at the legendary Brooklyn gay club 3 Dollar Bill, where she made a surprise appearance that reportedly turned the dance floor into an emotional rave tsunami. Witnesses say gays cried, glitter rained from the ceiling, and at least three people spontaneously gained vocal range.
Miley Cyrus is outside. She’s thriving. She’s got a new album. She’s partying in leather. And you? You better catch up, darling. 💅💥
Miley Cyrus Spotted in NYC Looking Like a Rock & Roll Panther Queen After Dropping Her New Album!Miley Cyrus Spotted in NYC Looking Like a Rock & Roll Panther Queen After Dropping Her New Album!
Cynthia Erivo, goddess of Broadway vocals and cheekbone architecture, is once again making headlines—and this time, she’s stepping into the most iconic sandals of all time. Yes, those sandals. The ones worn by the Son of God himself.
In a plot twist that even M. Night Shyamalan would need a moment to process, the 38-year-old “Wicked” star has been cast as Jesus Christ in a stage production of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Hollywood Bowl this summer. Yes, you read that right. Jesus. Cynthia. Hollywood Bowl. Gospel and glam.
Naturally, the casting sent some conservative circles into an evangelical tailspin. One particularly pressed pastor reportedly declared it “blasphemy” that a queer Black woman would play Jesus, to which the universe replied, “Okay, but have you seen her Tony?”
But does Cynthia care? Absolutely not, babes.In a deliciously shady interview with Billboard, she giggled—yes, giggled—at the backlash like she was watching a Real Housewives reunion in heaven.
“Why not? You can’t please everyone,” she shrugged, sipping divine tea straight from the Holy Grail.
“It’s a three-day performance at the Hollywood Bowl where I get to sing my face off. So hopefully they will come and realize, ‘Oh, it’s a musical, the gayest place on Earth.’”
Read that again.
The. Gayest. Place. On. Earth.
Not Disneyland. Not Drag Race. The Hollywood Bowl, for three nights only, starring Cynthia Erivo as Glamorous Messiah.
And let’s be real: if Jesus came back and didn’t break into an 11 o’clock number in a sequined robe while slaying high notes and shutting down bigots? Would it even be a second coming worth RSVPing to?
So if you’re mad about it, maybe ask yourself: What would fabulous Jesus do?
He’d probably sing.
He’d probably slay.
And honey—he’d definitely be Cynthia Erivo.
Cynthia Erivo Cast as Jesus and the Internet Explodes Like It’s Judgment Day (But Make It Fabulous)
The Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale trailer just dropped and honey… it is giving 1930s opulence, British angst, and existential estate drama. This might be the final sip of Earl Grey we get from the Crawley fam, and they’re pouring it piping hot.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
👑 THE PLOT (ALLEGEDLY):
We’re sliding into the 1930s like a heavily corseted lady at a jazz party. Downton Abbey is facing modernity, uncertainty, and probably another scandal involving cutlery. The Crawleys and their forever-exhausted staff are scrambling to drag their ancestral real estate into the new era without accidentally setting it on fire with a misplaced candle or a poorly timed revolution.
🎭 THE CAST:
Oh, it’s a family reunion, baby! Michelle Dockery is back with her resting aristocrat face. Hugh Bonneville returns to judge your posture from across the room. Elizabeth McGovern’s back, serving peak mom vibes. Laura Carmichael’s eyebrow game is still undefeated. Basically, everyone who’s ever dramatically descended a staircase in formal wear is back— EXCEPT ONE.
(Suspiciously dramatic silence.)
There’s one iconic character who won’t be making a return. We’re not saying who, but prepare your heart and stock up on tissues. Or gin.
🎞️ THE VIBE:
Think:
✨ Slow-mo glances over mahogany banisters.
✨ Tearful monologues with orchestras swelling.
✨ Someone whispering, “The estate… must endure…”
✨ A shocking lack of Wi-Fi.
🍾 THE PREMIERE:
Mark your monocle calendars for September 12, because Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale is strutting into theaters in full period-drama drag. This could be the final, fabulous bow of this velvet-draped saga. Or they might revive it again in 2045 as Downton Abbey: The AI Butler Wars. Who knows!
Watch the trailer below and prepare to clutch your doilies—this one’s gonna be legendary. 💅
JoJo “Sparkle Tsunami” Siwa just broke the internet, your group chat, and possibly the space-time continuum by announcing she’s officially locking lips with none other than Chris Hughes — yes, the British snack from Celebrity Big Brother and also, like, a walking Abercrombie mannequin with WiFi.
JoJo (22, glitter enthusiast, national treasure, possibly a human unicorn) and Chris (32, reality TV royalty and proud owner of exactly one confused puppy stare) had already been making fans scream “ARE THEY?!” from the moment they started eye-flirting inside the Celebrity Big Brother house. The tension? Palpable. The vibes? Chaotically romantic. The confirmation? DELIVERED. 🧃💋
In an interview that probably caused three PR agents to faint and a unicorn to shed a tear, JoJo finally addressed the speculation.
“No, this is a very genuine connection – we’re not faking a thing,” JoJo told IconicHipster.com, while probably sitting on a sequined throne and sipping ethically sourced glitter juice. “People can see our chemistry, and they got to see it develop. I think everyone’s just curious, and I can’t blame them.”
She said what she said, babes: this ain’t promo, this is passion.
When asked if it’s platonic or if they’re actually swapping saliva and playlists, JoJo replied:
“It’s not platonic anymore,” she confirmed, casually torching the internet. “It’s been a beautiful development, a beautiful connection, and I’m absolutely head over heels for him and he’s the same way.”
Translation: They’re in love, your honor. And also possibly in a Nicholas Sparks montage.
As for the PR stunt rumors? JoJo laughed in sparkly gay icon and said:
“Clearly, you’ve never been around us,” she declared, probably while riding a glitter cannon into the sunset. “I won’t ever speak for him, but for me personally, the happiness in my life just radiates off of me right now. Literally yesterday, I was massaging my cheeks; I’ve never been in pain from smiling so much.”
Girl, SAME. We’re all massaging our cheeks from this serotonin surge.
So there you have it: JoJo Siwa is in a full-on, fireworks-shooting, rom-com-level relationship with Chris Hughes and if you think it’s fake, you clearly haven’t seen two people giggle like middle schoolers at a sleepover while trapped in a house full of former soap stars and TikTokers.
May their love live long and their cheekbones stay sore. 💕✨
JoJo Siwa Confirms She’s Smoochin’ Chris Hughes and No, It’s Not a PR Stunt—It’s Just Hot, Chaotic Love, Baby!JoJo Siwa Confirms She’s Smoochin’ Chris Hughes and No, It’s Not a PR Stunt—It’s Just Hot, Chaotic Love, Baby!JoJo Siwa Confirms She’s Smoochin’ Chris Hughes and No, It’s Not a PR Stunt—It’s Just Hot, Chaotic Love, Baby!
Crank up that Kate Bush, baby, because the first-look photos from Stranger Things Season 5 just dropped hotter than Steve Harrington’s 1980s hair game — and they are serving drama, doom, and possibly dead Will Byers (again? still? always?).
So, Netflix pulled up to their own party — aka the live Tudum event — and dropped some nostalgia bombs and chaos clues with a glorious montage of Stranger chaos from seasons past. And then they casually snuck in the news that Season 5 is coming to ruin all our lives (in the best way possible) starting November 26, 2025 with Volume One. Then on Christmas Day, they’ll drop Volume Two, because nothing says holiday spirit like interdimensional horror. And finally, the series will explode into our eyeballs with the grand finale on New Year’s Eve. Cheers to trauma, kids.
🍿 Official Plot? More Like Apocalyptic Vibes, Sweetie:
Picture it: Fall of 1987. Hawkins, Indiana. Still looking like it got into a bar fight with Hell.
The Rifts? Wide open.
Vecna? Ghosted everybody harder than your ex after two texts.
Eleven? Back in hiding, because the government is doing government things (read: not helping).
The gang? Traumatized but still hotter than ever.
The stakes? So high they’re basically vaping in space.
Our heroes are gearing up to do what they do best: fight evil with vibes, trauma bonds, and telekinesis. But this time, there’s a spicy new wrinkle. The government has slapped Hawkins with a military quarantine, which is just a fancy way of saying: “You can’t sit with us — or leave town without getting tased.”
👀 That Teaser Image, Though…
Now here’s where things get deliciously weird. In one of the teaser images (the spooky artsy one fans are obsessing over), there’s a shot that MIGHT — emphasis on might — show Will chilling (or, uh, decomposing?) in the Upside Down.
Fans are already firing up their Reddit engines with the theory that:
⚠️ WILL IS DEAD IN THE UPSIDE DOWN BUT ALIVE IN HAWKINS.
Excuse me? Multiverse madness? Doppelgänger decay? Dead but make it retro chic?
Imagine being haunted by yourself. Honestly, wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen to Will at this point. Let the poor kid breathe (or not, depending on the dimension).
So buckle up, binge some Scoops Ahoy, and prepare for Stranger Things to turn our brains into Demogorgon chow one last time.
✨ Season 5 is the final season — and it’s giving epic finale energy. Everyone’s suiting up, probably crying, and definitely ignoring therapy. Can they defeat Vecna? Will Eleven finally get a break? Is Steve’s hair still insurance-level good?
We’ll find out. But one thing’s for sure: It’s about to get STRANGER.
And WAY more upside down. 😵💫
🚨“Stranger Things” Season 5 First Look Is Here and Things Are About to Get INSANELY Upside Down (Like, Literally)🚨🚨“Stranger Things” Season 5 First Look Is Here and Things Are About to Get INSANELY Upside Down (Like, Literally)🚨🚨“Stranger Things” Season 5 First Look Is Here and Things Are About to Get INSANELY Upside Down (Like, Literally)🚨🚨“Stranger Things” Season 5 First Look Is Here and Things Are About to Get INSANELY Upside Down (Like, Literally)🚨
Cardi B just dropped her new man like a surprise album—and yes, it’s officially Instagram official. The “WAP” queen, 32, is now boo’d up with none other than NFL heartthrob Stefon Diggs, 31, a man whose cheekbones could cut glass and who probably catches feelings as easily as he catches footballs.
In a move that can only be described as Chapter Beyoncé Level Strategic, Cardi hit us with an IG slideshow that screams “I’ve moved on, moisturized, and upgraded.” Captioned cryptically (and horoscopically?) as: “Chapter 5 ……Hello Chapter six,”
which might be a metaphor for June or just Cardi’s personal renaissance—we’ll never know. But one thing is clear: she’s entering a new era, and there are yachts involved.
Pic 2: BOOM. There it is. Her leg draped over Stefon like he’s the last available Birkin at Hermès. They’re leaning in, looking like the next sexy couple in a romance novel set at the Super Bowl.
Meanwhile, Stefon—never one to be outdone—snuck Cardi into his own chaotic “May photo dump” like an Easter egg in a Marvel movie. We see you, soft-launch king.
Now let’s rewind this love story:
February: Spotted on a Valentine’s Day date in Miami. Cupid was working overtime.
May: Sat courtside at a Knicks game. Because nothing says “we’re a couple” like overpriced popcorn and awkward camera angles.
Then: They hit a Met Gala after-party together. High fashion? ✅. Low-key PDA? ✅. Media panic? ✅✅✅.
And now here we are. The internet is screaming, the comments are thirsting, and Cardi is in her “throwing subtle shade and looking gorgeous on a yacht” era.
TL;DR: Cardi B’s new boo is Stefon Diggs, and they’re serving couple goals, luxury, and emotional touchdowns all summer long. Stay tuned for more episodes of “Love & Gridiron.”
Los Angeles, California – aka the land where dreams go to brunch and never call you back.
Nobody Wants This is BACK! Yes, somehow, against all odds (and despite its own title), this absolutely chaotic rom-com is getting a Season 2, and no, you’re not hallucinating—unless you’ve had one too many espresso martinis, in which case…same.
So here’s what went down: the day after Netflix’s Tudum Live event (which is basically Coachella for people who scream over teaser trailers), the Nobody Wants This crew hit up Netflix’s FYSEE Emmy Event in LA. Translation: stars in sequins gathered to humblebrag about their show while pretending not to want awards they absolutely want.
On stage like the main characters they are, we had:
Series creator Erin Foster, the mastermind behind this loveable fever dream
Executive producer Sara Foster, probably threatening to cancel someone’s WiFi if they don’t watch
And stars Kristen Bell (America’s sweetheart but slightly chaotic), Adam Brody (still giving “hot but emotionally unavailable”), Justine Lupe, Timothy Simons, and Jackie Tohn, all dressed to impress and probably wondering how they got roped into Season 2
Then, in a moment of pure cinematic drama, they revealed the premiere date for Season Deux: Thursday, October 23rd on Netflix. Mark your calendars. Set a reminder. Tattoo it on your butler.
And just when you thought this couldn’t get any more confusing, let’s rewind to April, when Kristen, Adam, and Justine were spotted filming what appeared to be either:
A Halloween episode (ghosts, wigs, emotional trauma)
OR
A Purim episode (Jewish Halloween, but with more pastries and generational guilt)
Basically, they were in costumes, and we’re not sure if we should be scared, blessed, or both.
So whether you wanted it or not—Season 2 of Nobody Wants This is coming, and it’s dressed as a sexy vampire rabbi.
Jennifer Lawrence and Dakota Johnson just had dinner together in New York City — and somewhere in the distance, a Coldplay song starts playing itself.
On the fateful night of May 31, J-Law (aged 34, still able to trip gracefully in heels) and D-John (35, eyes sharper than her sarcasm) were spotted heading out for dinner, probably to discuss world domination, haircare routines, or which one of them really “won” Chris Martin. That’s right — these two Hollywood powerhouses have shared a boyfriend, and now, apparently, they’re also sharing appetizers.
Let’s break this down: Jennifer and Chris Martin dated from 2014 to 2015, back when everyone still had hope and the world was slightly less on fire. Fast-forward to 2017, and Dakota slides into Chris’s heart like a smooth jazz playlist at a Whole Foods wine tasting. She’s been with him ever since, minus that one week the tabloids had a meltdown and screamed “BREAKUP!” louder than a toddler with an iPad.
Meanwhile, Jennifer met her art-dealer husband Cooke Maroney in 2018, and they’ve been busy creating small, genetically superior humans ever since. She just welcomed baby #2, and let’s just say the postpartum tea she recently spilled was scorching.
And Dakota? Oh, she’s been out here having mysterious, glowy dinners with Taylor Swift, which is either a dinner party or a secret society meeting—we’re still waiting for confirmation.
Jennifer and Dakota walked into a restaurant. The earth shifted. Chris Martin likely clutched a mug of tea somewhere, sensing a disturbance in the Force. Taylor Swift probably already wrote a song about it.
The girl dinner to end all girl dinners?
We’ll allow it.
🍷✨ Stay tuned for more updates in Real Housewives of Coldplay.
BREAKING: Jennifer Lawrence & Dakota Johnson Seen Conspiring Over Pasta in NYC — The World May Never Be the Same
Our indie movie queen, Lady Bird herself, Saoirse Ronan, is officially on her way to becoming Lady Mom! That’s right: the 31-year-old Oscar darling is pregnant and expecting her very first baby with her real-life co-star and husband, Jack “I-Was-Lord-Darnley-But-Now-I’m-Dadley” Lowden. 🎉👶
Spotted: Baby Bump and Stroll Goals
Our girl was seen strutting the streets of Islington, London, giving major “Pregnant But Make It Chic” energy in all black. Meanwhile, her husband Jack, 34, went full gym-core in his activewear (probably trying to keep up with her glow, let’s be honest). Oh, and their dog Fran was also there, clearly wondering what all the fuss was about but excited nonetheless to be promoted to Big Sibling.
From Mary Queen of Scots to Mama Queen of Baby Bumps
Saoirse and Jack met back in 2018 while filming Mary Queen of Scots — she played Mary, and he played her doomed hubby Lord Darnley. (Art imitating life? Hopefully minus the royal drama and inevitable betrayal this time.) After years of “are they or aren’t they?” whispers, they made it official with a super lowkey, ultra-private wedding in Edinburgh in July 2024. Think kilts, candles, and very smug wedding guests who had to promise NDAs and silence.
New Chapter: From Red Carpets to Diaper Bags
Now, the cinematic power couple is taking on their next big role: Parents. We don’t know the due date, the gender, or whether the baby will have Saoirse’s cheekbones or Jack’s brooding eyes — but what we do know is that baby Lowden-Ronan is already more iconic than most of us.
Congratulations to the fabulous, talented, genetically blessed couple. And someone please get Fran a treat — being a dog sibling is hard work. 🍼🐶💅
Saoirse Ronan Is Cooking Up a Baby! First Child on the Way With Hubby Jack Lowden — And Yes, the Dog Is Also ExcitedSaoirse Ronan Is Cooking Up a Baby! First Child on the Way With Hubby Jack Lowden — And Yes, the Dog Is Also Excited
