In today’s episode of “Celebrity Men Getting Emotionally Wrecked by Women Way Out of Their League,” Benny Blanco is out here spinning pure, chaotic, romantic gold in a new interview with InStyle — and yes, it’s as unhinged and adorable as you’re hoping for.
💋 “I Kissed So Many Frogs, I Got Warts”
Benny Blanco, a man who looks like he owns at least five pairs of Crocs and a vintage lava lamp, is currently floating through life like a love-struck Disney prince. Why? Because he gets to kiss Selena Gomez. On the mouth. Regularly. Legally.
“I met Selena when she was 16,” he says, casually dropping a meet-cute prequel that sounds like it was ripped straight from a Wattpad fanfic titled “From Studio to Soulmate.”
“They say you’ve probably already met the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with… I thought that was Hallmark card crap — and then BAM. Plot twist: it’s real. Now I get to kiss her! I manifested my own fairytale, and spoiler alert — there’s kissing.”
🐸 On Kissing Frogs and Dodging F–kboys
Benny didn’t just stumble into romance like a rom-com extra. No, no. This man has seen things.
“I’m 37 years old. I hope I know how to treat a woman by now,” he confesses. “You ask her what she wants to do. You shut up about yourself. You try not to be a douche. And then — oops! — you mess it up. A lot.”
How much frog-kissing did it take to land a real-life Disney princess like Selena? “So many frogs, dude. Beautiful frogs. But frogs, nonetheless. I kissed them all. It was like a Grimm Brothers horror montage.”
He also offered this PSA: “Ladies, don’t settle for a man who uses more hair gel than you. If his forehead reflects light like a car windshield, RUN.”
👶 Benny Blanco: Future Daddy (Maybe, Hopefully, Please Universe)
“I love kids,” Benny said, probably while watching a baby goat video and weeping. “I love being an uncle. But I want to be a dad. Like full-time, dad-mode, embarrassing jokes and everything. I’m dreaming and praying on it. Manifesting a Baby Blanco every day.”
Honestly? We’re not ready for a tiny human that shares DNA with Selena Gomez. The world would collapse under the cuteness.
🎶 Taylor Swift: The Gateway Drug to Benny’s Swiftie Obsession
Before Selena Gomez handed him the aux cord and changed his life, Benny was out here just…existing. But now? Now he’s a full-blown Swiftie, badge and all.
“In the car, we have our little Swiftie moments,” he says like a man who definitely knows all the lyrics to “All Too Well (10-Minute Version).”
“She plays the deep cuts. Like, the deep DEEP cuts. I’m talking ‘Cornelia Street’ emotional damage level. And I’m like, ‘Damn… Taylor’s pen? Is on FIRE.’”
Welcome to the club, Benny. There’s no way out. You now cry over fictional breakups from 2012. It’s the law.
🏞️ On Sleeping in Train Stations and Being Raised by a Real One (Hi Mom!)
Before he was kissing pop stars and producing hits, Benny was sleeping in Times Square McDonald’s like a gremlin with a dream.
“I told my mom I was in the studio with Britney Spears. She said, ‘No, you’re not.’ And I was like, ‘Wanna bet?’”
Even when his songs hit the charts, she hit him back with, “What’s your backup plan though?” Iconic behavior.
Also iconic? His mom gave him a crash course in emotional intelligence while she was busy living her own dating reality show.
“She’d sit me down and explain the female brain like she was narrating a nature documentary. Honestly? Thanks, Mom. You built a wife-ready man.”
☀️ Final Mood: Benny Blanco Wakes Up “Stoked” Like a Surfer Who Just Got Engaged on a Mountain
Despite everything — or maybe because of it — Benny lives life on a permanent serotonin high. “I’ve had some tough times,” he says, “but I’ve always been a really happy person. I just wake up stoked every day.”
He’s in love, he’s emotionally available, and he’s ready to make babies. He’s basically the human version of a golden retriever who produces platinum albums.
TL;DR: Benny Blanco is out here simping so hard for Selena Gomez he’s about to float into space like a lovesick helium balloon. He’s crying over Taylor Swift lyrics, dreaming of tiny baby shoes, and dropping the most chaotic, frog-kissing dating wisdom we’ve heard since “Kermit Unplugged.”
Godspeed, King. We’re rooting for you.
