Michelle Obama is not here for your gossip, your theories, or your imaginary divorce fan fiction.
Rumors have been swirling like a blender on “purée” setting that Michelle and Barack Obama are headed for Splitsville, just because they haven’t been joined at the hip at every public event lately. Cue the dramatic music and cut to Michelle rolling her eyes into next week.
Appearing on Sophia Bush’s “Work in Progress” podcast (aka the unofficial therapy circle for famous women with boundaries), Michelle basically said, “Hey, sometimes I just don’t feel like showing up. And that’s totally legal, people!”
She explained, “When I say ‘no,’ people are mostly cool with it. But then there’s this whole squad that’s like, ‘SHE SAID NO. IS SHE GETTING A DIVORCE?!’ Like… chill.”
Let the record show: the woman skipped Trump’s inauguration, not her own marriage. Honestly, wouldn’t you skip that too?
Michelle got real about how society has the emotional range of a potato when it comes to women saying “no thanks” without it being a full-blown scandal. “It couldn’t possibly be that I’m just doing what I wanna do,” she said. “Nope, clearly the Obamas are over and I’ve fled to an island with Beyoncé.” (Okay, she didn’t say the Beyoncé part, but it’s the rumor we deserve.)
She continued, probably sipping tea with a monogrammed “M” on the cup, “Can I just be a grown woman, making grown woman choices, without people acting like I’m storming out of a soap opera?”
Michelle is deep in her “I do what I want” era, and she’s loving it. “It’s time for some big girl decisions,” she said. “If not now, when?” (Which is basically the classier version of “YOLO.”)
She’s asking herself the real questions now:
– Do I want to travel?
– Do I want to nap instead of network?
– Do I want brunch with my girls instead of listening to someone talk for two hours at a gala?
And the answer is: YES. Yes she does. Yes she can.
So, no, she’s not divorcing Barack. She’s just busy living her best life, sometimes solo, sometimes with friends, always with dignity, and probably with snacks. Relax, internet. The Obamas are fine. Michelle’s just out here skipping events and sipping iced matcha in peace.
Let her live.
