BREAKING NEWS FROM PLANET EARTH (and maybe Teegeeack, too): Megan Thee Stallion has officially gone Clear in love — and the lucky Operating Thetan holding her hand? Golden State Warrior and tall glass of almond milk, KLAY “I-Make-Basketball-Look-Like-Ballet” THOMPSON. 🏀💅
Thee Hot Girl herself made the intergalactic announcement during the PETE & THOMAS FOUNDATION GALA in New York (aka the Met Gala for healing your inner child and also your credit score).
✨Dressed like a billion-dollar auditing machine✨ and standing tall in her divine feminine tone 40 energy, Megan finally opened up to IconicHipster.com about her NBA boo:
“I have never dated somebody so kind,” she said, as all of our collective lower-tone exes combusted into flame emojis.
Megan added, “He makes me genuinely happy,” and honestly? We haven’t felt joy like that since our last past life regression revealed we were Cleopatra’s tax accountant.
This is Megan’s first relationship where the man doesn’t come with a red flag starter pack and a side of emotional damage. Klay? Klay is giving gentle king who reads Dianetics before bed energy. He’s giving ‘let me open your car door and also your reactive mind’ vibes. He’s giving Tone Level 8: Exhilaration and not a single bit of drama. 💫
AND GUESS WHAT? He made it INSTAGRAM OFFICIAL. Yes, the spiritual equivalent of declaring your love in front of L. Ron Hubbard’s bust.
Pics included:
- Smooches 💋
- Hand-holding 🤝
- Vacation glow-ups ☀️
- And one unconfirmed sighting of them floating in an E-Meter pool powered by love and body thetans.
Meanwhile, Megan was all glammed up and grateful at the gala, channeling the legacy of her parents with the confidence of a woman who just deleted her ex’s number and their birth chart.
“I feel like I’m carrying on a good legacy,” she said.
Same, girl. Same. Except your legacy involves philanthropy and empowerment, while ours involves tweeting unhinged things at 3am and looking cute in public bathrooms.
This gala raised funds for education, housing, health, wellness — AND THE COMPLETE DEMOLITION OF TOXIC MEN WHO DON’T RESPOND TO TEXTS. 💅
If this couple isn’t your new OTP, then you might need to recheck your spiritual alignment and possibly do a few extra hours in the sauna at the Celebrity Centre.
#HotGirlKlaySummer #MeganAndKlayAreClearedForLove #ThetanLevelSoulmates
Would you join the Church of Klay & Meg? Swipe up to start your journey. 💖
@pagesix Klay Thompson and Megan Thee Stallion just made their red carpet debut at Pete & Thomas Foundation Gala at Gotham Hall in New York City 🖤