Miley Cyrus just pulled a pop star power move of epic proportions — and Brooklyn is still trying to recover.
The 32-year-old chaos queen of the charts, Miss “I Can Buy Myself Flowers” herself, Miley Cyrus, popped out of nowhere (like a sexy glittery jack-in-the-box) at the Something Beautiful Ball — a euphoric queer rave hosted by DJ Jon Ali and Olive at 3 Dollar Bill, aka Brooklyn’s crown jewel of fabulous debauchery.
It all went down Friday night (May 30), and baby, it was camp.
Miley arrived at the club around 12:45 a.m. — the witching hour for pop girlies — looking like the long-lost dominatrix daughter of Joan Jett and a disco ball. She was serving:
- Black leather mini dress so tight it could hear your thoughts
- Leather gloves (yes, like the ones you wear to seduce someone and commit a jewel heist)
- Fishnet tights that screamed “rock ‘n’ roll, but make it fashion”
- Sunglasses indoors at midnight (because fame is brighter than the sun)
- Hair soaking wet, giving “just came from baptizing my ex in tears” realness.
She then did what Miley does best: crashed the stage with main character energy and gave a glorious 6-minute speech that shouted out the queer community, her ride-or-die fans, and the rollercoaster that is her legendary career.
And because Miley can’t be tamed (yes, I said it), she hijacked the DJ booth and screamed along to her new bangers “Easy Lover” and “Every Girl You’ve Ever Loved,” basically turning the club into a live-action Tumblr post circa 2014 but way hotter.
Before she disappeared into the night like a glamorous bat, Miley took approximately 100,000 selfies, kissed babies (not really, but vibes), and gabbed with fans like she wasn’t a multi-platinum global icon in a leather dress sweating under club lights.
The moral of the story? Miley Cyrus isn’t just giving us Something Beautiful — she is something beautiful. And also: always be ready at a gay bar in Brooklyn, because your fave just might show up in leather and change your life.
