Matthew Perry Wrote “Ketamine Was Not For Me” in His Memoir

In his 2022 memoir, “Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing,” Matthew Perry spilled the beans about the drug that ultimately made him do the funky chicken on the other side on October 28, 2023, at the sprightly age of 54.

The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner’s Office, always the party poopers, recently dropped Perry’s toxicology report on a Friday (because, you know, Fridays are for scandals). Turns out, the man went out with a bang, or rather, an “acute effects of ketamine” dance move.

In his literary masterpiece, Perry described his Swiss rehab escapade with ketamine infusions. Spoiler alert: he didn’t give it a five-star rating. According to Matthew, ketamine was the cool kid on the street back in the ’80s, but now it’s like the synthetic, highfalutin cousin used for “easing pain and helping with depression.” He even suggested they might as well have named it “Matty.” Smooth, right?

Picture this: Matthew, blindfolded like a modern-day Zorro, getting ketamine infusions in hour-long sessions. Apparently, he felt like he was floating in space or, as he eloquently put it, “disassociated.” And, oh boy, did he have profound thoughts. “This is what happens when you die,” he mused. Yet, our dear Chandler Bing lookalike kept signing up for the psychedelic rollercoaster because, you know, anything different is good when you’re a rebel without a cause.

According to Perry, taking K is like getting smacked in the face with a massive happy shovel. But, of course, every party has a pooper, and in this case, it’s the hangover that made him rethink his life choices. In his own words, “Ketamine was not for me.” Well, Matthew, we guess the giant happy shovel wasn’t all that happy after all.

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