Kristen Stewart Is Officially Off the Market, Guys – Dylan Meyer Puts a Ring On It and Then Posts About It Like a Legend

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Kristen Stewart is now a married woman! Yes, the sparkly vampire queen herself just said “I do” to screenwriter/filmmaker/all-around-cool-human Dylan Meyer—and we have the digital receipts to prove it. 🥂💍

The low-key power couple tied the knot this past Sunday (April 20—insert obligatory 4/20 joke here) in a super secret ceremony at some fancy restaurant in Los Angeles. No, you weren’t invited. Yes, we’re also bitter.

Several days later, Dylan dropped the bomb on Instagram with a caption that basically screamed “rom-com finale energy”:

“I do. I really really really really really do.”
That’s five reallys. That’s love. That’s commitment. That’s someone who’s probably watched “The Notebook” one too many times.

She shared two photos from the big day:
1. An embrace so cute it could cure seasonal depression.
2. A smooch that might be responsible for global warming.
Seriously, go look at them. They’re HERE and they’re adorable.

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But wait—there’s more! This newlywed duo isn’t just cute; they’re also cinematic. Kristen and Dylan’s new movie The Wrong Girls is heading to the 2025 Cannes Film Festival like, “Bonjour, we brought vibes.”

Dylan wrote the script and is making her directorial debut (no pressure, just Cannes), and Kristen’s starring like the chaotic legend she is. The plot? Oh, it’s a glorious mess:

Frankie (Kristen) and Molly (Alia Shawkat) are broke besties who live life one paycheck and one bong rip at a time—until a case of mistaken identity throws everything into total mayhem.

Honestly? It sounds like if Broad City and The Bourne Identity had a messy, hilarious baby.

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Also starring in this potential masterpiece: Seth Rogen (yes please), Kumail Nanjiani (we stan), LaKeith Stanfield (icon), Zack Fox (chaos), and Tony Hale (King of Awkward).

ICYMI, Kristen and Alia were spotted filming in March, possibly while also trying to remember their lines through a haze of fake weed smoke.

So congrats to Kristen and Dylan—may your love be stronger than Edward and Bella’s and your movie get a standing ovation in French. 🥖🇫🇷✨

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