Hold on to your contour kits! Kourtney Kardashian, reigning queen of sass, is throwing some serious shade in the latest episode of The Kardashians. Gather ’round as Kourtney, at the ripe age of 44 (because age is just a number, darling), sits down with Tristan Thompson to spill the tea on his past cheating escapades.
Picture this: Kourtney, with an expression that could rival a masterclass in eye rolling, tells Tristan, 32, that he’s basically won the cheating Olympics but still doesn’t deserve the fabulous Khloé Kardashian. I mean, how many times do you have to cheat to be disqualified from the relationship marathon?
Kourtney goes full-on comedy central, declaring that the men in her family are as lucky as someone finding a pizza with extra cheese in their fridge at 3 AM. Why, you ask? Because her mom and sisters are apparently experts at turning a blind eye to boundary-setting and opt for being one big happy family instead. Move over, dysfunctional dynamics, we’ve got a Kardashian special here!
In a shocking revelation (cue the dramatic music), Kourtney spills the beans on how the Kardashian magic works. According to her, they can transform Khloé into a goddess, complete with glam, good photos, and an aura of confidence. But, hold your horses, because ensuring the person feels supported and has those pesky boundaries set? Well, that seems to be a bit of an afterthought in Kardashian land. Lucky for the guys, right?
And just when you thought it couldn’t get wilder, Kourtney, the three-time baby mama, confesses that she’s been a part of this circus act in the past. But fear not, for Tristan, the self-proclaimed reformer, chimes in with an apology tour, expressing how he’s not proud of the person he used to be. Of course, he’s “of course” proud of the shining example of humanity he’s becoming. Move aside, Shakespeare, we’ve got some top-tier drama unfolding here.
In a confessional moment that deserves an Oscar nod, Kourtney drops some wisdom bombs about growth and actions speaking louder than words. She’s not here to hold a grudge, she declares, because people can evolve. But she’s quick to remind us that in the Kardashian universe, talk is cheaper than a knock-off designer bag from the black market.
But Kourtney is on a mission, dear friends. She’s not about to let the Kardashians normalize the questionable behavior of the men in their lives. She’s not here to show her daughter that cheating is cool. Forgiveness and grace, sure, she’s on board with that, but let’s not forget the golden rule of having clearer boundaries than the VIP section at a Hollywood club.
In another riveting episode, Tristan pulls a classic move and apologizes to Kylie Jenner for his rendezvous with Jordyn Woods. The Kardashians: where apologies are as common as contouring tutorials. Stay tuned for the next episode, where boundaries are blurred, forgiveness is served on a silver platter, and the drama never sleeps.
