Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your SAG statues because Kieran Culkin just made award history! The 42-year-old star snatched the Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role award at the 2025 Screen Actors Guild Awards held at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles—February 23, the day we remember as the day Kieran declared war on brevity!
As he hopped on stage, Kieran decided to ignore the traditional “thank you” speech and instead launched into a comedy set about the real weight of fame: “This statue is heavier than my existential crisis!” He marveled at the irony that the “heaviest award comes from actors,” which, let’s be honest, is like getting a gym membership from a donut shop.
But wait, there’s more! In a plot twist that even M. Night Shyamalan would envy, Kieran took a hilarious jab at Adrien Brody, who was probably sweating bullets in the audience. He cheekily reminded him of the 45-second speech limit. “Hey, Adrien, just because you’re not a main character in this story doesn’t mean you can take up the whole runtime!”
Adrien laughed, probably wondering if he should start timing his own acceptance speeches. “No need to roast you; I love you! But seriously, take your time!” Kieran quipped. “I’m going to ramble because I didn’t prepare a thing!”
After a ramble that could have qualified as a TED Talk, Kieran finally threw some genuine gratitude into the mix, saying the award “means a lot” and “is a huge honor”—right before adding, “But honestly, I haven’t said anything useful!”
Then, in a whirlwind of gratitude faster than you can say “what was that all about?”, he thanked Jesse Eisenberg, the writer/director/star of A Real Pain, his wife, his kids, and possibly his mailman—all in under a minute!
And as the curtain closed on this year’s SAG Awards, remember: the event is streaming live on Netflix, hosted by Kristen Bell for the second time. With Wicked and Shogun leading the nominations with five each, we can only hope Kieran keeps his acceptance speeches short and sweet next time—or at least heavy on the laughs!
