JoJo Siwa just spilled the entire glittery, chaotic, absolutely feral tea about the last year of her life—and apparently, she was on autopilot mode, being spiritually GPS’d by what we can only assume was a marketing goblin in a sequin jumpsuit.
The 22-year-old sparkle demon turned chaos icon went full confessional on the We Need to Talk podcast (and oh, she talked). According to JoJo, post-Karma JoJo was NOT the one behind the wheel. Nope. Somebody else was driving the bus… and it was giving Free Britney meets Barbie goes to Coachella blackout edition.
“I was being guided,” she said. GIRL. WHAT??? Like by who? An alien? Your PR team? A ghost in a Juicy Couture tracksuit?
Apparently, she had a “wait a dang minute” breakdown when she caught herself pretending to chug Fireball on stage (spoiler: it was apple juice, because obviously).
“‘Why am I pretending to drink Fireball and be insane when I’m just a cinnamon roll with anxiety and a lip gloss empire?’” – probably JoJo, but make it existential.
She said Karma was the last time she was 100% her glittery, rhinestone-encrusted self. After that? It was giving ✨spiritually kidnapped✨.
But plot twist! Her cry-for-help era led her straight into the arms of Big Brother (the show, not George Orwell, relax) and a brand new boo named Chris Hughes. Love in the time of mental breakdowns? We support it.
Now she’s back on her own wavelength with a new banger called “Bulletproof” (no, it’s not about SPF or dodgeball), which is basically her sonic journal entry screaming “I’M BACK, BABY!” with eyeliner and lasers.
“As soon as I leave the Big Brother house, I’m filming the music video.” We smell a comeback that’s about to slap harder than a dance battle at the Cheesecake Factory.
Also, shoutout to JoJo for getting real about her identity again and living her best unlabeled, unfiltered, possibly-bedazzled life. 🌈💅
TL;DR: JoJo Siwa was being remote-controlled by mysterious off-brand Barbie villains for like a year, but now she’s rebooted her operating system and is back to doing high kicks and healing trauma through choreo. Watch out, world. She’s bulletproof and bedtime is CANCELLED.
#JoJoSiwa #BulletproofEra #GuidedByGhostsAndGlitter
