Move over Broadway, Jesse Eisenberg’s got a musical, and it’s assembling a cast so shiny, you’ll need sunglasses just to read the credits.
Yes, it’s true — Halle “Ariel-but-make-it-iconic” Bailey, legendary Broadway queen Bernadette “Vocal Cords of the Gods” Peters, and cool-girl Havana Rose Liu have officially joined Jesse’s delightfully chaotic musical comedy, courtesy of the always-aesthetic A24.
And if that cast doesn’t already sound like the most glamorous group chat ever, here come the rest of the gang: Oscar winner Julianne Moore, national treasure Paul Giamatti, Broadway baddie Bonnie Milligan, Colton “I sing, I act, I break hearts” Ryan, Lilli “Yes, she slays” Cooper, and Maulik “Scene Stealer” Pancholy. Honestly, if this cast were a salad, it would be one of those $18 ones with gold leaf and truffle dust.
Now, what’s the plot, you ask? Strap in: Julianne Moore plays a painfully shy woman who somehow finds herself cast in a community theater musical. But instead of just leaning in and having a cute little stage moment, she goes FULL METHOD and loses herself in the role. We’re talking Daniel Day-Lewis meets Glee, but make it unhinged. Chaos? Guaranteed. Jazz hands? Highly likely. A nervous breakdown set to music? Absolutely.
And guess what? Jesse Eisenberg isn’t just writing the movie. Nope. He’s out here writing the lyrics and music too. The man said, “If Lin-Manuel can do it, why not me?” Production already started, which means somewhere out there, Paul Giamatti is probably learning choreography, and I, for one, demand behind-the-scenes footage.
This musical mayhem marks Jesse’s first project since A Real Pain, the film that had us laughing, crying, and questioning our entire emotional range. Oh, and no big deal, but Kieran Culkin took home an Oscar for that one. So yeah, no pressure, musical cast — just follow up an Oscar-winning dramedy with a full-blown musical fever dream. Easy!
So grab your jazz shoes, prep your standing ovations, and get ready — Jesse’s about to give us the most awkwardly delightful musical since that one time your cousin did Cats in the garage. Bravo in advance.
