If James Blunt’s Album Goes To Number 1, He Will Allow Fans To Pick His New Legal Name

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James Blunt is about to make one of the most blunt moves in music history! (Yes, pun 100% intended.)

The 50-year-old crooner behind the forever stuck in your head hit โ€œYouโ€™re Beautifulโ€ is so desperate for a number one album, heโ€™s willing to do something truly outrageous: change his name. And not just to anything sensible like โ€œJames The Greatโ€ or โ€œSir Sings-a-Lot,โ€ but to whatever wild, ridiculous name his fans come up with. Thatโ€™s rightโ€”heโ€™s putting his whole identity in the hands of the internet. What could possibly go wrong?

Blunt is re-releasing his album Back to Bedlam for its 20th anniversary, and instead of, you know, just hoping people will enjoy the nostalgia trip, heโ€™s decided to spice things up. Heโ€™s basically thrown a digital dart at a board full of chaos and said, โ€œWanna wreck my life? Letโ€™s do it.โ€

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Hereโ€™s the deal: If the album hits number one again, Blunt will legally change his name to whatever the internet hivemind votes on. Yes, this is a man who clearly hasn’t been on the internet long enough to know that asking the masses for name suggestions is like inviting a tornado to your picnic. He laid it all out in an Instagram post, like a true daredevil with a death wish:

โ€œWanna ruin my life? If the 20th Anniversary Edition of my album Back To Bedlam re-enters the charts at number 1, I will legally change my name โ€“ to whatever you guys decide. Comment on this post below with suggestions for my name change, or like someone elseโ€™s comment to vote.โ€

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Now, if you think the suggestions were going to be things like โ€œJames the Legendโ€ or โ€œChart Topper Blunt,โ€ oh dear friend, how sweet and innocent you are. One suggestion, in particular, has surged to the top of the list, crushing the competition like a giant anvil in a cartoon:

Blunty McBluntface. Yes, you heard that right. As if one Blunt wasnโ€™t enough, this oneโ€™s got an extra dose of Bluntness. And with over 27,000 likes on that single comment, itโ€™s looking like Mr. McBluntface could be a real thing. Imagine the headlines: “Blunty McBluntface Wins Grammy, Thanks Fans for Ruining His Life.”

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The best part? This isnโ€™t even over yet. The album drops on October 11th, and until then, itโ€™s a wild race to the finish line. Will James Bluntโ€™s quest for chart domination lead him to eternal glory, or will he forever be known as the man who dared to dream and ended up with a name that sounds like a rejected Teletubby? Only time will tell!

Stay tuned, grab your popcorn, and prepare for the saga of a lifetime: “The Rise and Fall of Blunty McBluntface.”

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