Clutch your copy of Dianetics—because the afterlife just got a glow-up, and it smells like Miles Teller’s mustache and the trauma of first love (Callum Turner, we’re lookin’ at you 👀). A24 just dropped the trailer for ETERNITY, the new rom-com where heaven is basically Coachella for dead hotties and Elizabeth Olsen is the main stage.
So here’s the Thetan-tea: Lizzie plays Joan, a recently-dead baddie who ascends to a sparkly lil’ purgatory and gets handed a cosmic ultimatum—she’s got ONE WEEK to decide who she’s gonna spend forever with. Like, actual forever. As in eternity, sweetie. No take-backs. No “U up?” texts from beyond. Just vibes and astral commitment.
Her options?
👻 Miles Teller, her ride-or-die boo from Earth who probs made amazing scrambled eggs.
vs.
💔 Callum Turner, her ✨first love✨ who tragically died decades ago but spent eternity waiting for her like a ghosty simp with abs.
Honestly? It’s giving Dead To Me meets The Bachelor meets Operating Thetan Level VIII.
AND IT GETS BETTER: The film’s got John Early (aka chaos in human form), Da’Vine Joy Randolph (Oscar winner, icon, queen), and Olga Merediz (she will make you cry and heal your mother wound).
Directed by David Freyne, aka the mad genius who probably astral projected this idea during a sauna hallucination, Eternity is set to hit theaters November 2025. Which means you’ve got time to clear your reactive mind and prepare your emotional body for impact.
Also?? Elizabeth Olsen’s next move is a vampire movie with KRISTEN STEWART?!? No, it’s not Twilight, but YES, we are already tattooing it on our souls.
🧠 #EternityMovie
🔮 #HotGhostDrama
🌌 #ClearThetanEnergy
Watch the trailer now before the Thetans do! Or don’t. But like… you’ll regret it for eternity.