Donald Trump Says He’s “Not Inclined” To Debate Kamala Harris Again

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Donald Trump, the 78-year-old former President, seems to be tapping out of another face-off with Kamala Harris, the 59-year-old Vice President and apparently, the world’s greatest pet defender.

Now, if you recall, their last debate had everything: drama, tension, and, of course, Trump’s unforgettable claim that immigrants are out here snacking on people’s pets. Yes, you read that right. America’s beloved furry friends—Fluffy, Spot, and Mr. Whiskers—were supposedly on some sort of international buffet menu. Spoiler: they’re not.

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So, after stirring up the most bizarre mental images of a world where pets aren’t safe from culinary curiosity, Trump sat down with Fox News on September 11th for a casual chat about his apparent debating retirement. It seems like he’s had enough of the verbal sparring, or perhaps he’s just saving up his energy for more important things—like saving the fictionalized dogs of America.

“I’m not inclined to do it because I won the debate by a lot,” Trump said, in a totally unbiased, not-at-all-exaggerated statement. This gem of self-assurance came from Bloomberg, which may or may not have stifled a laugh when reporting it.

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But wait, it gets better: “I don’t know that I want to do another debate,” he added, as if anyone saw this coming. Analysts, by the way, have been whispering (loudly) that Trump maybe, kinda, definitely lost the debate. But hey, who needs analysts when you’ve got a big win in your own head?

So, it looks like debate round two might just be a no-go. Harris might have to save her one-liners for another day, and America’s pets can rest easy—for now.

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