Donald Trump Jr. Calls Civil Fraud Ruling Politically Motivated

In a courtroom showdown that had more drama than a reality TV reunion, Donald Trump got a hefty slap on the wrist from a New York judge who basically said, “You can’t handle the truth!” The former President was handed a colossal $354.9 million fine for playing fast and loose with his bank statements, and Judge Arthur Engoron didn’t hold back in giving him a verbal lashing. Even Trump’s tag team, his sons Eric and Donald Jr., and their partner in financial fiascos, Allen Weisselberg, couldn’t escape the judge’s roasting.

“Donald Trump might not be Bernie Madoff, but he’s definitely in the same league when it comes to admitting wrongdoing. These guys are as stubborn as a mule in a china shop,” quipped the judge, probably resisting the urge to don a referee’s shirt.

Judge Engoron wasn’t just doling out fines like candy on Halloween; he was on a mission to save the financial world from becoming a circus. “When Trump and his crew refuse to own up to their mistakes and keep them on repeat, it’s like giving a toddler a permanent marker and letting them loose in a museum,” he explained, shaking his head at the sheer audacity.

And Trump’s fantasy valuations? Let’s just say they were more inflated than a bouncy castle at a kids’ birthday party. “Trump insists Mar-a-Lago is worth a cool billion to a billion five, as if it’s made of solid gold and unicorn tears. Sorry, Donnie, but reality doesn’t come with a gold-plated deed,” the judge scoffed, probably resisting the urge to ask for a reality check.

Meanwhile, in the land of social media, Donald Jr. was doing what he does best: tweeting up a storm. “We’re living in a world where your political leanings and where you have your legal showdown determine your fate more than the actual facts! It’s like we’re stuck in a bad sitcom, and the laugh track is broken!” he lamented, probably wondering if he could turn this whole debacle into a reality show spinoff.

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