Carey Hart has done it again! Yes, Pink’s husband, legendary motocross madman and walking X-ray folder, just added another chapter to his “Oops, I did a flip and forgot to land it” saga.
The 49-year-old daredevil took to Instagram this weekend to share the tale of his latest “oopsie-daisy-I-no-longer-have-a-functional-gut” moment. Spoiler alert: it’s gnarly.
“Welp, I ran out of talent 🤦🏻♂️🤣,” Carey casually dropped, as if talent was a phone battery and he just forgot to charge it overnight. He then described his very chill Thursday morning that turned into Mortal Kombat: Organ Edition. “I had a pretty nasty get-off. Landed off a jump, bars knifed, and took the bar to the gut while going over the bars.”
Translation: He performed an unplanned magic trick where he turned a motorcycle into a gut-punching weapon. Ta-da!
And because Carey doesn’t just break bones—he breaks records in the “How TF Are You Still Alive?” department—he added, oh-so-casually:
“Severed my small intestine from my colon. I’m fine and will recover from this.”
Sir. That’s not “fine.” That’s “season finale cliffhanger” level.
Of course, he had to shout out his ride-or-die wife, Pink, for once again becoming Nurse Ratched in a hoodie.
“Huge thanks to @pink. As always does in these situations w/ me, she steps up and takes charge at the hospital. Sorry to put you through this, yet again 🤣.”
Translation: “Hey babe, remember how you said you didn’t wanna spend your weekend in the ER again? LOL, surprise!”
Also, bonus points to their kids, Willow and Jameson, for popping by like, “Hey Dad, please stop trying to become a cyborg.”
“Gonna rest up this week,” Carey said, clearly still attached to the idea that rest is a thing he allows himself. “Sorry to everyone I ghosted over the last couple days. There was a good reason for it 🤣🤣.”
Yes. Being stabbed in the gut by your own handlebars is a certified doctor’s note. We’ll allow it.
We’re just happy he’s okay and back on his couch, wrapped in bandages and life lessons. And Pink? Girl, you deserve a medal, a spa day, and maybe a husband who sticks to chess.
In the meantime, someone please hide his keys and bubble-wrap the entire state of California.
Get well soon, Carey! Please… like, seriously soon.