Carey Hart Yeets Himself Off a Bike, Apologizes to Pink for Yet Another Medical Adventure

Buy Me A Coffee

Carey Hart has done it again! Yes, Pink’s husband, legendary motocross madman and walking X-ray folder, just added another chapter to his “Oops, I did a flip and forgot to land it” saga.

The 49-year-old daredevil took to Instagram this weekend to share the tale of his latest “oopsie-daisy-I-no-longer-have-a-functional-gut” moment. Spoiler alert: it’s gnarly.

“Welp, I ran out of talent 🤦🏻‍♂️🤣,” Carey casually dropped, as if talent was a phone battery and he just forgot to charge it overnight. He then described his very chill Thursday morning that turned into Mortal Kombat: Organ Edition. “I had a pretty nasty get-off. Landed off a jump, bars knifed, and took the bar to the gut while going over the bars.”

Translation: He performed an unplanned magic trick where he turned a motorcycle into a gut-punching weapon. Ta-da!

See also  JoJo Siwa and Chris Hughes Have a Romantic Reunion in London, and It’s Almost Too Cute to Handle

And because Carey doesn’t just break bones—he breaks records in the “How TF Are You Still Alive?” department—he added, oh-so-casually:

“Severed my small intestine from my colon. I’m fine and will recover from this.”

Sir. That’s not “fine.” That’s “season finale cliffhanger” level.

Of course, he had to shout out his ride-or-die wife, Pink, for once again becoming Nurse Ratched in a hoodie.

“Huge thanks to @pink. As always does in these situations w/ me, she steps up and takes charge at the hospital. Sorry to put you through this, yet again 🤣.”

Translation: “Hey babe, remember how you said you didn’t wanna spend your weekend in the ER again? LOL, surprise!”

See also  Chappell Roan Spills the Tea on Her Love Life—And It’s Juicy!

Also, bonus points to their kids, Willow and Jameson, for popping by like, “Hey Dad, please stop trying to become a cyborg.”

“Gonna rest up this week,” Carey said, clearly still attached to the idea that rest is a thing he allows himself. “Sorry to everyone I ghosted over the last couple days. There was a good reason for it 🤣🤣.”

Yes. Being stabbed in the gut by your own handlebars is a certified doctor’s note. We’ll allow it.

See also  Brittany Cartwright Gives Jax Taylor's Bedroom Skills a Report Card — and It's Not Honor Roll Material (Video)

We’re just happy he’s okay and back on his couch, wrapped in bandages and life lessons. And Pink? Girl, you deserve a medal, a spa day, and maybe a husband who sticks to chess.

In the meantime, someone please hide his keys and bubble-wrap the entire state of California.

Get well soon, Carey! Please… like, seriously soon.

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

North West Reveals Her Debut Album ‘Elementary School Dropout’

Move over, world, because North West is about to...

Jennifer Garner Explains Why She Hasn’t Been to the MET Gala Since 2007

Jennifer Garner spilled the beans on her Met Gala...

Dua Lipa Looked Stunning At The Time100 Gala

Dua Lipa just blasted through the music industry like...

‘Bob Hearts Abishola’ is Coming to an End

Hold onto your laughter, because the heartwarming love story...

Sarah Hyland Returns to Broadway, Channels Daisy Buchanan—Because Why Not?

Sarah Hyland is ditching her Modern Family roots and...

Justin Bieber Caught Vibing HARD… to His Own Music. Yes, Really.

Breaking news: Justin Bieber has officially become his own...

You Might Also Like

Angela Bassett Tells Oprah She Was “Gobsmacked” At Losing At The 2023 Oscars

In a recent revelation that had the world collectively...

Pete Davidson’s Love Life: From Palm Trees to Pigeons with Elsie Hewitt!

Pete Davidson and his new leading lady, Elsie Hewitt,...

Zayn Malik Releases a Teaser For His Upcoming Album

Zayn Malik just dropped the equivalent of a musical...

The Weeknd Teases New Music With Playboi Carti And Anitta During Show In Sao Paulo

Imagine this: 70,000 people crammed into São Paulo's Estádio...

Kim Kardashian and Odell Beckham Jr. Attend the Same Party, Sparking Dating Rumors

Guess who’s back on the gossip carousel? That’s right,...

Travis Kelce Talks About Brother Jason Kelce’s Retirement

Travis Kelce is setting the record straight about the...

Prince William Reveals Mom Princess Diana Had A Huge Crush On Kevin Costner

Prince William has allegedly dished out some juicy gossip...

Rihanna Showcases Her Fenty Collaboration With Puma By Donning A Business-Casual Power Suit

Rihanna just turned "business casual" into "business...but make it...