The Venice Film Festival is about to get a double dose of Hollywood royalty—Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt! But don’t get your hopes up for a red-carpet reunion. Nope, no dramatic stare-downs, no awkward run-ins, and certainly no “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” sequel happening here. These two are being kept apart like two toddlers who can’t share toys.
In a move that sounds like it was planned by NASA, the festival’s artistic director, Alberto Barbera, confirmed that Jolie, 49, and Pitt, 60, will be operating on entirely different schedules. (It’s like they’re orbiting the same planet but never actually land in the same spot). Jolie will be dazzling Venice on Thursday, August 29, to premiere Maria, her biopic about the opera legend Maria Callas. Then, in true diva fashion, she’ll vanish like a puff of smoke, hopping on a plane to the Telluride Film Festival with director Pablo Larraín before Pitt’s even landed.
Brad, who’s probably wearing his best “I’m totally over it” sunglasses, won’t roll into Venice until Saturday, September 1. No chance of awkward eye contact across the canals! “There is no way they can cross each other at the Lido,” said Barbera, probably after double-checking both their itineraries like a paranoid cruise director.
At a press conference for Maria, Jolie was asked how she relates to her character. She gave a deep, introspective answer that we can all pretend to understand: “I related to the part of her that is extremely soft and didn’t have room in the world to be as soft as she truly was.” Translation: She feels all the feels but can’t always show it, much like when she has to resist the urge to roll her eyes when people bring up her ex.
Meanwhile, Pitt’s been soaking up the Italian sun with his BFF George Clooney, 63. (Honestly, they’re the ultimate bromance, and we’re all just waiting for their rom-com to drop). The duo recently chatted for GQ‘s September issue from Château Miraval, that ridiculously luxurious French estate that, oh yeah, just happens to be at the center of Pitt’s legal tug-of-war with Jolie. Yes, that’s right—nothing says “I’m over you” like fighting over a vineyard.
Clooney and Pitt will be gracing Venice with their handsome mugs on September 1 to hype their new movie Wolfs, which, sadly, has nothing to do with actual wolves or Clooney and Pitt running through the forest howling at the moon. Instead, it’s about two “lone-wolf fixers” who—surprise, surprise—end up having to work together on the same job. If this doesn’t scream Ocean’s Eleven: The Retirement Years, I don’t know what does.
Oh, and in case you’re keeping score, Jolie isn’t stopping at Venice. She’ll also be strutting her stuff at the Toronto International Film Festival, where she’s debuting her latest directorial venture, Without Blood. (And yes, she’s getting an award because she’s Angelina Jolie, and awards just follow her around like glitter.)
So, while the world holds its breath for any hint of drama between the ex-power couple, rest assured: Venice has been choreographed like a ballet of avoidance. They’ll be shining, but from very, very different parts of the sky.