Kristin Cavallari just dropped a tale that sounds like it came straight out of a heist movie—if said movie starred an HVAC guy with poor life choices and questionable crawling skills. Buckle up, because this story is wilder than anything that happened on Laguna Beach.
So, picture this: it’s 2020. Kristin, then-hubby Jay Cutler, and their three kiddos—Camden (the oldest, aka the bed buddy in this saga), Jaxon, and Saylor—are on a vacation that quickly turned into a real-life Mission Impossible.
Kristin wakes up in the middle of the night to find… wait for it… a burglar crawling on her bedroom floor like he’s auditioning for a low-budget spy thriller. Yes, crawling. As in army-style, on the ground, probably trying to avoid the squeaky floorboards.
“I woke up and was like, ‘What the f—k are you doing?!’” Kristin recounted on her Let’s Be Honest podcast. And the burglar? He bolts—ski mask, all-black outfit, and probably his dignity left behind. Dude had the full burglar starter pack. Kristin, on the other hand, was channeling peak Tom Cruise calmness because her son Camden was snoozing beside her, blissfully unaware of the impromptu bedroom floor Olympics.
Apparently, Jay Cutler, the heroic dad we all expected to come charging in, was nowhere to be found. Kristin tried texting him, but the man was off in another wing of the house, living his best life in dreamland. So, what does Kristin do? She leaves Camden in bed (probably thinking, “Stay asleep, kid, mommy’s got this”) and ventures out alone into the house to find Jay.
“I was wandering around the house like, ‘What the f—k is happening?!’” she said, which, honestly, feels like the appropriate reaction when there’s a ski-masked ninja in your home. After what sounds like an eternity of detective work (aka panicked searching), she finally found Jay chilling upstairs with the other two kids, Jaxon and Saylor. Casual.
It wasn’t until she woke Jay up that reality smacked her in the face. The adrenaline wore off, and she started shaking, finally realizing she had just had a run-in with a jewel-thirsty intruder. Speaking of jewels, it turns out this guy wasn’t there for snacks or souvenirs—he was targeting Kristin’s Uncommon James jewelry. Because apparently, even burglars want to accessorize in style.
The burglar didn’t just stop at jewelry, though. Oh no, he also nabbed a backpack stuffed with cash, which seems like an oddly convenient “Hey, rob me!” accessory to keep lying around. Here’s where the plot thickens: they caught him! And get this—it was the HVAC guy. Yes, the same dude who probably came over to fix the air conditioning thought, “You know what else I could do? Commit a felony.”
Kristin’s kids still don’t know about this midnight madness because, let’s face it, the last thing you want to tell your kids is, “Hey, remember that guy who fixed the AC? He also crawled across our floor like Spider-Man’s awkward cousin.”
Kristin wrapped up the tale by saying it was “one of the scariest things” she’s ever experienced. And honestly, we believe her. The only thing scarier would be if the HVAC guy had tried to escape through the vents.
