The most unconventional Valentine’s Day movie of all time—“Love Hurts”—is crashing into theaters February 7, 2025, and yes, it’s bringing action, betrayal, and carnage… because roses and chocolates are so 2023. And guess what? The first trailer is here, and it’s wilder than finding your ex at your favorite brunch spot.
Plot Summary (Spoiler: You’re Not Ready)
Forget rom-coms. This is a rom-combat. Ke Huy Quan steps into his first major leading man role, playing Marvin Gable, a mild-mannered Milwaukee realtor. But surprise! Marvin’s real specialty isn’t showing cozy ranch-style homes—it’s running from his dark criminal past. Unfortunately for Marvin, the past is clingy. Real clingy. Think “I-still-have-your-sweatshirt” clingy, but with more bullets.
Plot Twist: Marvin gets a blood-red envelope from Rose (Ariana DeBose), a former partner-in-crime who—plot twist again—he totally left for dead. Classic Marvin, right? Now she’s back and madder than a cat denied a sunbeam. And Marvin’s cozy suburban life goes from “Open House” to “Deadly Showdown” faster than you can say “zillow gone wrong.”
As if Marvin didn’t have enough on his plate, his crime-lord brother, the hilariously-named Knuckles (Daniel Wu), is hunting him too. Yep, not only is Marvin dodging hitmen and Rose’s rage—he’s also avoiding some very awkward family reunions. It’s like Thanksgiving dinner, but with grenades.
The Cast: More Stars Than a Hallmark Christmas Movie
– Marshawn “Beast Mode” Lynch: Yes, THE Marshawn. No word on whether Skittles are involved, but we’re hopeful.
– Mustafa Shakir: Ready to steal scenes, hearts, and possibly your snacks.
– Lio Tipton: Doing the lord’s work, adding comedic charm amid the mayhem.
– Rhys Darby: Playing a character so ridiculous it might just make sense.
– André Eriksen & Sean Astin: In case you needed more proof this movie’s gonna be bananas.
Behind the Madness: Directed by Stunt Legend JoJo Eusebio
First-time director JoJo Eusebio is the mastermind here. Eusebio, who previously threw actors off buildings in John Wick and choreographed epic fight scenes in Black Panther, is now in charge of everything. Which means Love Hurts is gonna have more action than your average Marvel movie—and more drama than your cousin’s wedding.
This one’s got everything: heartbreak, explosions, real estate fraud (probably), and enough double-crosses to make your head spin.
Watch the Trailer… And Cancel Your Valentine’s Dinner Plans
Skip the fancy dinner and watch “Love Hurts” instead, because nothing says romance like dodging bullets with your brother-knuckle-crime-lord in tow.
This Valentine’s Day, bring your popcorn—and maybe a helmet. Love Hurts is coming, and it’s gonna be one unforgettable mess.
