🔥ANDY COHEN RUINS CARRIE BRADSHAW’S LIFE WITH HIS CHAOTIC SHOE STORE CAMEO—AND IT’S ICONIC🔥

We need to talk about Andy Cohen—yes, Bravo Daddy himself—and his gloriously disastrous attempt at acting on And Just Like That… (aka Sex and the City: The Reboot That Refuses to Die).

So, Andy shows up in Season 3, Episode 9—titled “Present Tense,” which is literally what everyone felt watching this fever dream unfold. He plays a shoe store worker named Daniel, which is hilarious because he also played a shoe store worker in the original Sex and the City like 93 years ago, because time is fake and Andy is eternal.

Anyway, our boy had a VISION. On his SiriusXM show (which I assume is broadcast straight from a floating OT-VII command station), Andy was like,

“Wouldn’t it be sooo funny if I popped up and said something shady like, ‘Carrie, you still haven’t paid your bill’?”

UM, YES?? ICONIC. LEGEND. GIVE HIM AN EMMY AND A FREE PAIR OF MANOLOS.

But no. Instead of throwing sass like confetti, Andy’s role got demoted to:
Walk four steps. Say one line. Do not upstage Sarah Jessica Parker. Repeat.

He was supposed to casually glide past Carrie and say, “Hey Carrie, I’ll be with you in a sec.” But like any true Operating Thetan knows, walking and talking simultaneously is the devil’s work. Andy flubbed the block so hard that Michael Patrick King, the showrunner and possible reincarnation of Xenu, was like,

“Bro. This is Carrie’s heartbreak scene, not Daniel’s Busy Shoe-Person Hour.”

Let me paint the scene:
Carrie has just emotionally combusted after fighting with Aidan (aka IKEA Jesus), and Andy Cohen—wearing a name tag that says ‘Daniel’ like some poor retail NPC in Grand Theft Auto: Upper East Side Edition—marches out like he’s doing musical theatre in Hell and shouts,

“CARRIE, I AM SLAMMED. BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE.”

And everyone behind the camera just silently screamed into their oat milk lattes.

SJP, bless her Manolo’d soul, had to personally coach Andy on WHERE TO STAND. Michael Patrick King re-blocked the whole scene like he was choreographing a Scientology purification rundown. And yet Andy kept giving full “confused intern on their first day at Nordstrom” energy.

Eventually, MPK came out and basically said,

“You’re stealing focus from Carrie. This is not Daniel: The Untold Story.”

ANDY WAS MORTIFIED. But also laughing. Because it was giving full “I joined this acting gig at Tone 40 and left at Tone 1.1: Embarrassment with glitter.”

In the end, the line you saw on screen was the best they could Frankenstein together in post. Andy admitted it. He is, in fact, a glorified background NPC in the Church of HBO Max.

But let’s be real: Would And Just Like That even BE And Just Like That without one Bravo super-goblin chaotically derailing Carrie’s post-menopausal heartbreak arc? Absolutely not.

Final auditing note:
Andy, you may not be an actor, but you’re a high-level communicator on the Tone Scale, and that’s what really matters in the game of life. You’re not a bad actor—you’re just on a different dynamic, one that requires a better script and a Teleprompter the size of a Sea Org cruiser.

🛍️✨Shoe salesman by day, Supreme Being by night.✨🛍️
Scientology says: Never block your purpose. Always block your scene.

#AndJustLikeThat
#AndyCohenOTLevelMess
#CarriesWorstDayWasDanielsBest

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