Jonathan “Scotty” Roach, a 43-year-old real-life Eagle Scout meets Bear Grylls meets literal angel on Earth, went missing on June 8 after going out for a lil’ solo stroll in Arlington, Tennessee… WITHOUT his phone. Yeah. No phone. In 2025. That alone had the teens shaking.
Scotty—Air Force veteran, kayak king, nature daddy, beekeeper, chicken whisperer, and apparently the human version of a Pinterest mood board—was last seen walking off into the great outdoors, leaving behind his truck, his phone, and the entire internet. Search teams went into full “Stranger Things” mode with volunteers, Homeland Security, the Emergency Management Avengers, and every deputy this side of Memphis on the hunt.
After nearly a week of looking through forests, fields, and probably a few haunted barns, Scotty was tragically found in a cornfield on June 12. Cue dramatic thunder clap. 💔🌽
Now, before you say “WTF?”—same. There’s no confirmed cause of death yet, but his wife Tracey (aka the strongest woman alive and unofficial president of the “My Husband Is a Literal Angel” fan club) confirmed it was him.
Tracey described Scotty like he was written by Taylor Swift and directed by Greta Gerwig:
“There’s this Adele song like ‘You feel like home, you sound like a song, you look like a limited edition vinyl pressing’ or whatever… and that’s him.”
“He’s never yelled. Never cursed. Probably cried watching Paddington. Everyone loves him.”
People are heartbroken. Nature is confused. The bees are holding a vigil.
No updates yet from the sheriff’s office—but we’re sending Tracey and their family every ounce of TikTok love, Insta prayers, and weirdly specific Tumblr poetry.
Rest easy, Scotty. The sky just got itself a five-star general of peace and vibes. 🕊️✨
#RIPScotty #NatureHero #CornfieldMystery #SendHugsNotTexts
