So, picture this: Tiffany Haddish, the queen of hilarity and shenanigans, is embarking on a journey of sobriety. Yeah, you heard that right! The same Tiffany who could probably make a stand-up routine out of a grocery list is now living that sober life.
In a recent chat on The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet, available on Spotify (because where else would you find such juicy deets?), Tiffany spilled the beans that she’s been on the wagon for over two and a half months. No booze, no weed, nada. And you know what? She claims it’s as easy as pie. “It’s not hard,” she says, with that signature Tiffany sass. “It’s not that hard.”
But why the sudden commitment to the straight and narrow? Well, apparently the law had a say in it. Tiffany’s little nap behind the wheel in Beverly Hills last November led to an unexpected slumber party in the local precinct. Facing some misdemeanor charges, she decided it was time to give sobriety a whirl, court-mandated and all that jazz.
And let’s not forget her wild ride in Georgia back in January 2022. Two years later, the legal rollercoaster continued, with Georgia wanting in on the action too. Tiffany’s response? “Cool.” She breezed through alcohol tests like a pro, probably because she wasn’t exactly the most enthusiastic participant to begin with. You see, she had this whole routine where she’d only puff on a joint during her time of the month because, well, cramps suck.
But fear not, fellow fans of Tiffany’s antics! She’s found new ways to tame the beast that is period pain. Topical creams, suppositories… you name it, she tried it. And when all else failed, she decided to give veganism a spin. Because apparently, veggies have magical pain-killing properties that even her beloved weed couldn’t match. She’s feeling so fierce, she’s convinced she could rival a pitbull in a jaw strength competition. Move over, Mike Tyson!
Now, about that sobriety pledge. Tiffany’s got it all planned out. No drinking anytime soon, except for a few select occasions. Win an Oscar? Cue the celebratory vodka shot. Family tragedy? Another shot, but just one. And if Mr. Right decides to pop the question, well, Tiffany’s planning a night of getting “s–t-faced drunk” just to show him her full crazy. Talk about relationship goals!
But hey, cutting out the booze has its perks. Tiffany’s waking up feeling like it’s 1998 all over again. No more joint pain, no more brain fog—just pure, unadulterated teenage vibes. She’s even managed to contain the agony to just her monthly visitor. And let’s face it, feeling like a snail all day is so last year. Why subject herself to that torture?
Tiffany Haddish, the sober sensation of 2024. Who knows what antics she’ll get up to next? One thing’s for sure: with Tiffany, sobriety is anything but boring. Cheers to that! Or, you know, not.