Taylor Swift Wants to Sue the College Student Who’s Tracking Her Private Jet

It seems like Taylor Swift is in a tizzy, and it’s not about her latest breakup song. Nope, it’s because she’s got a college kid on her tail, and not in the cute, “aww, let’s take a selfie” way.

Picture this: a 34-year-old pop sensation facing off against a 21-year-old college junior. It’s like David versus Goliath, if Goliath had a killer Spotify playlist. Taylor Swift, our beloved songstress, has uncovered Jack Sweeney’s little hobby. What’s Jack’s hobby, you ask? Oh, just casually tracking Taylor’s every move like he’s her own personal paparazzi. And not just Taylor’s, but a whole lineup of celebs. I mean, who knew stalking could be a college extracurricular activity?

So, what’s Taylor’s response to Jack’s spy games? Legal action, baby! Her legal eagles swoop in with a letter straight out of a legal drama, warning Jack that his antics aren’t just annoying, they’re potentially life-threatening. Taylor’s attorneys aren’t mincing words either, calling out Jack’s shenanigans and basically telling him, “Stop it or face the music!” But Jack, bless his heart, seems unfazed. He’s still out there, tracking Taylor’s private jets and posting updates like he’s the captain of the Swiftie surveillance squad.

And let’s not forget Taylor’s history with unwanted admirers. Remember David Crowe, the guy who just couldn’t take a hint and kept showing up at Taylor’s doorstep like a stray cat? Or Roger Alvarado, who thought breaking into her place was a surefire way to win her heart? And who could forget Joshua Christian, the ultimate road-trip stalker? It’s like Taylor’s living in her own real-life horror movie, except instead of running from zombies, she’s dodging overzealous fans.

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So, here’s the moral of the story: if you’re thinking about tracking Taylor Swift’s every move, maybe reconsider. Because when Taylor says “shake it off,” she means shake off the creepy stalkers, not your next hit single.

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