Netflix just dropped the episode titles for Stranger Things Season 5, and they’re juicier than an Eggo waffle straight out of the toaster. Yep, we’re heading back to Hawkins for one last season of Demogorgon dodging, Upside Down madness, and, presumably, endless amounts of ‘80s hairstyles that we’re all pretending to like. Oh, and plot twist! This time, the gang’s dealing with the Fall of 1987—meaning they’re older, wiser, and maybe slightly less likely to rely on a walkie-talkie the size of a small child.
Want to know the episode titles? Of course you do. Think of it like peeking at the Christmas presents, but way cooler:
Stranger Things Season 5 Episode Titles:
1. The Crawl – Nothing says “big final season energy” like an episode titled after a thing infants do. Expect suspense, probably some actual crawling, and at least one character wondering why they’re stuck in Hawkins again.
2. The Vanishing of [REDACTED] – Because, naturally, someone has to vanish. Who is [REDACTED]? Netflix isn’t saying, but let’s just hope it’s not Steve’s hair—it’s been through enough.
3. The Turnbow Trap – Ah yes, traps are back on the menu! Is it a trap made of 1980s gadgets, duct tape, and perhaps a Rubik’s cube? Only time will tell.
4. Sorcerer – Is someone about to break out a D&D manual, or are we getting a magical stranger in Hawkins? Either way, it’s bound to involve robes and very dramatic finger-pointing.
5. Shock Jock – Is there a radio DJ from the Upside Down, spinning cursed mixtapes and possessing listeners? Or maybe Hawkins’ local radio station is tired of its totally normal programming? Spooky static awaits.
6. Escape from Camazotz – Big-time sci-fi vibes! Sounds like Hawkins is dealing with the shadow realm’s angsty cousin, complete with impossible mazes and existential dread. Perfect fall entertainment!
7. The Bridge – Will it be a literal bridge? A bridge to another world? A metaphorical bridge to everyone’s future therapy bills? Stay tuned!
8. The Rightside Up – Boom, we’re flipping the script! Goodbye, Upside Down; hello, Rightside Up. Expect a thrilling ride where Hawkins might actually feel like a normal town for five whole minutes.
Plot Refresher for the Few Out There Who Don’t Know:
Stranger Things is the love letter to every 1980s genre film you’ve ever secretly loved but couldn’t explain to your friends. It’s a small-town horror-drenched joyride where a group of kids in Hawkins, Indiana, go from riding bikes to battling the supernatural real quick. It all starts when Will Byers goes poof into the night, leaving his buddies and the whole town scrambling to find him. What they find instead? Oh, just a terrifying parallel universe, shady government people, and a whole lot of nope.
Friendships will be tested, lives will be altered, and viewers will shout at their screens as Hawkins—and possibly the world—faces total chaos once more. All that’s left to do now is hang tight and wait for Netflix to take us back to where it all began, with Eggo crumbs on our shirts and ‘80s jams in our hearts.
