Stalker Trying to Break Into Taylor Swift’s NYC Home Arrested

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Buckle up, because we’ve got a blockbuster in the making – Taylor Swift’s apartment escapade! Move over, Ocean’s Eleven, because we’ve got a daring criminal mastermind who tried breaking into T-Swizzle’s New York City fortress in Tribeca.

Picture this: a man with dreams as big as his misguided sense of romance decided to embark on a mission to reach Taylor Swift’s door, armed with determination, questionable decisions, and probably a playlist of Taylor’s greatest hits to set the mood. Sources say he strutted up to her doorstep at the ungodly hour of 1 p.m. because nothing says “subtle” like attempting a break-in in broad daylight.

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Now, hold on to your cats, because this Swiftie stalker apparently made himself a resident of the neighborhood weeks before his grand entrance. Witnesses report he was practically the Mayor of Awkwardville, sleeping on stoops, puffing away like a human chimney, yelling, and generally giving everyone the creeps. Move over, Santa Claus; we’ve got a new holiday lurker in town.

According to a neighbor who probably deserves a medal for dealing with this spectacle, the dude claimed he just wanted to see Taylor. Oh, how romantic! He even brought flowers, because nothing says “I’m not a threat” like a bouquet, right? I mean, who needs a dating app when you can just loiter around someone’s building for weeks?

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The NYPD, ever the heroes in this melodrama, got wind of the situation and swiftly (pun intended) responded to a call about a “disorderly person” on Franklin Street. They found our fearless Romeo attempting to open a door like he was auditioning for a role in a poorly scripted rom-com.

Now, here’s the plot twist – it was all pretty civil! No high-speed chases, no dramatic shouting matches, just a guy trying to break into Taylor Swift’s apartment with the grace of a swan. He didn’t resist, probably because even he realized this was a plotline better suited for a sitcom than a crime drama.

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Move over, Law & Order; we’ve got the T-Swift Break-In Comedy Hour. Coming soon to a stoop near you!

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