Okay so… Martha Stewart, 83 years young and still living her best cottagecore-meets-billionaire fantasy, just went full Snow White — and no, this isn’t a perfume drop, babes. We’re talking real-life squirrel rescue mission on her literal forest kingdom/farm/celebrity wonderland.
While most grannies are knitting socks or misplacing their glasses, MARTHA FRIGGIN’ STEWART is out here channeling Steve Irwin in a Hermès scarf, saving THREE baby squirrels from the clutches of a tragic tree fall.
Their names? Maple, Magnolia, and Oak-ley — because apparently squirrels get ✨ aesthetic ✨ names now. Like, why do these rodents sound like they’re in an indie girl band that only plays acoustic covers of Taylor Swift?
According to Mother Nature Martha™, she spotted the tiny fluff balls inside a fallen tree (RIP Tree-zilla), and after triple-checking that their mom didn’t just dip out for squirrel errands, she scooped them up faster than you grab your charger at 1%. Then she handed them off to a real-life Dr. Doolittle — wildlife vet @shannonthewildlifevet — who bottle-fed them every two hours like furry VIPs.
AND GET THIS: these baby girls were literally bald, blind, and toothless when found. So basically me before coffee. But now? They’re THRIVING — eating avocado slices, hoarding sunflower seeds, and serving squirrel-on-the-go realness from their new nest in the wild.
Stewart says they’re still friendly and sometimes pop by her house like it’s a Chipotle run. Honestly? Iconic behavior. If my exes were this loyal, I’d have a farm too.
Also shoutout to Cesar, Adan, and Pesang — the tree-clearing kings who discovered the squirrel sisters mid-shift like it was an emotional Pixar short.
So next time you’re crying over an F on your econ quiz or ghosted by someone named Jaxxon with two Xs, just remember: MARTHA STEWART is out here, saving squirrels, running restaurants, and being a full-time mogul at 83. What are you doing today?
#MarthaSavesRodents #SquirrelSquadAssemble #MapleMagnoliaOakleyWorldTour
