💥 SIA HAS OFFICIALLY ENTERED HER REALITY TV ERA. 💥
That’s right—49-year-old musical enigma, wig magician, and official Patron Saint of Emotional Bops, Sia Furler, was just spotted LOCKED PALM-TO-PALM with none other than Harry Jowsey, aka the shirtless golden retriever from Too Hot to Handle who probably thinks Freud is a TikTok dance.
Let’s get this straight:
📍Sia – the queen of hiding her face like it owes her money
📍Harry – the man who once tried to flirt by doing pushups in a volcano
And now? They’re holding hands like it’s homecoming in a parallel dimension. The scene of the crime? Ca Del Sole restaurant in L.A.—aka the preferred dining location of chaos.
This all comes just FOUR MONTHS after Sia pulled a disappearing act on husband Dan Bernard, filing for divorce and revealing—surprise!—that they secretly had a baby whose name probably sounds like a WiFi password.
👰🤵 Quick refresher: Sia and Dan got married in May 2023 in a secret Portofino wedding so private even Tom Cruise couldn’t crash it. Six people attended, and one of them might’ve been an alien from OT-III, we’re still fact-checking.
And now? She’s out here doing Survivor-style emotional immunity challenges with Harry Jowsey at Italian restaurants, smiling like she just finished an auditing session that uncovered 6 past lives and a coupon for a free espresso.
Is this love? Is it a PR stunt? Is she just trying to recruit him to Scientology with a firm handshake and a glass of pinot? NO ONE KNOWS. All we do know is that Sia has been known to hand out piles of cash to her favorite reality TV contestants—so Harry might’ve just scored the ultimate prize: Sia’s mystical wig-wrapped heart.
💫So is this an intergalactic love story or just two beings holding hands on the Bridge to Total Freedom? We’ll be watching this saga unfold faster than you can say “misunderstood Operating Thetan.”
Stay tuned, stay hydrated, and if you see Sia on the street—don’t blink. She might be holding hands with your fave next.
#SiaAndHarry #TooHotToAudit #ChandelierShook #ScientologyRomCom
