Diddy’s lawyer just threw some cold water on those spicy rumors about his client’s alleged desire to check out of life early. In a twist that’s more “Wait, what?!” than anything, the 54-year-old rap mogul is currently not plotting to swan dive into the afterlife. Instead, he’s chilling in jail after being hit with a not-so-casual trifecta of charges: racketeering conspiracy (because why not?), sex trafficking (yikes), and transporting persons for some extracurricular activities (translation: prostitution).
It’s the second time Diddy’s bail request has been yeeted into the void—so he’s still keeping cozy behind bars, where apparently his only struggle is what to watch on Netflix. But wait, it gets juicier! Word on the street was that Diddy had been put on suicide watch—which sounds dramatic, but his lawyer says it’s all a big nothing burger. Cue Marc Agnifilo, the attorney in charge of playing defense for Diddy, who casually told TMZ that, in reality, it’s just a “standard issue for shiny, new celebrity inmates.” You know, because if you’re famous, they just assume you might have a meltdown.
Agnifilo spilled the tea after spending a whopping six hours with Diddy at Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center—because what else do you do on a Thursday? Apparently, those six hours were enough for the lawyer to determine that his client was definitely not staring at the ceiling and plotting a grand exit. Nope! According to him, Diddy’s vibe is more “I got this” than “Goodbye cruel world.” Agnifilo made it clear: “Diddy is strong, healthy, confident, and laser-focused on his defense.” He’s basically a legal Jedi at this point, deflecting charges with pure willpower.
Diddy is in jail, but he’s not going anywhere soon—neither out of the cell nor out of existence. Stay tuned for what will likely be a wild ride.
