🚨 SABRINA CARPENTER JUST DROPPED A BOMBSHELL BOP CALLED “MANCHILD” AND IT’S COMING IN HOTTER THAN YOUR EX’S EXCUSES 🚨

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Okay, everybody remain calm — Sabrina Carpenter, pop princess, chaotic genius, and patron saint of petty, just dropped some major musical mayhem on us. No, it’s not a surprise album, a tour, or a collab with a haunted toaster (we’d stream). It’s something better.

Her new song “MANCHILD” is landing this Thursday like a meteor of glitter, sass, and emotional damage aimed directly at emotionally stunted men everywhere.

💅 “this one’s about you!!” she teased, presumably pointing at every guy who owns 12 hoodies, no bedsheets, and thinks “going through something” is a personality.

And babes — THE ARTWORK. Sabrina is giving “desert Barbie hitchhiking to her final nerve.” She’s rocking a white button-down tied into a DIY bra (who needs Victoria’s Secret when you’ve got vengeance and a vision?) and Daisy Dukes so dangerously short they probably violate at least five traffic laws.

But wait, there’s more chaos incoming

This isn’t just a digital drop — oh no, you can also preorder a 7-inch vinyl. That’s right, she said “let me bring your emotional instability to a physical format.” Side B isn’t just any random bonus track either. No no. It’s literally called:

“inside of your head when you’ve just won an argument with a man.”

HELLO??? A cultural reset. A masterpiece. A spiritual experience. A psychological thriller. A national treasure.

Mark your calendars, light a candle, delete his number (again), and set your alarms for Thursday, June 5th at 8pm EST because this song is coming to snatch wigs, burn egos, and possibly cause a minor gender crisis.

Check out the teaser video below — and try not to scream. Or do. Sabrina would want that. 💋💔🛻

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