Russell Brand Talks Katy Perry Divorce Like It’s a Ted Talk, Just Before Facing Serious Charges

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In a plot twist that sounds like it was written by a stressed-out soap opera intern, Russell Brand decided to get all nostalgic about his whirlwind marriage to Katy Perry literally one day before new sexual assault charges came knocking like, “Hey bestie, remember us?”

Let’s rewind to 2010: Russell, the human version of a chaotic espresso shot, marries Katy, the walking glitter cannon responsible for “Teenage Dream.” It lasted about as long as a TikTok trend — he filed for divorce in 2011, citing irreconcilable differences (which, in Hollywood, is code for “we argued about kombucha vs. Red Bull and never recovered”).

Flash-forward to now: On his Stay Free with Russell Brand podcast (title aged like milk), the 49-year-old shaggy philosopher-comedian reflected on their marital meltdown.

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“When I was married to Katy Perry, she was… not entirely normal,” he said. “But not, like, Area 51 weird either. Just your everyday pop goddess with a Vegas budget.”

He was quick to clarify that Katy wasn’t involved in any “nefarious” stuff — which, frankly, sounds like he was trying very hard not to incriminate himself. “She was just a regular mega-celebrity,” he added, as if that’s a relatable category.

As for why things went south? He says it was just your typical, boring human stuff. “I’ve got nothing but respect for her,” he said, presumably while lighting sage and trying to manifest good PR.

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Then he casually steered the convo into politics (because nothing says romance like clashing ideologies). “I obviously disagree with her political views,” Russell admitted, before adding that he also doesn’t always see eye to eye with his current wife, Laura. So basically: Russell Brand is equal-opportunity disagreeable.

Meanwhile, Katy has very much moved on. She’s now engaged to Orlando Bloom, aka Legolas aka That Guy From Every Woman’s Hall Pass List. Together, they’ve got a 4-year-old daughter named Daisy, who is hopefully being shielded from all this TMZ chaos.

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Oh, and in case you forgot, Katy once described her marriage to Russell as a “tornado.” Not sure if she meant emotionally, metaphorically, or just the sheer volume of hair products involved.

Stay tuned. This isn’t a love story. This is a Netflix docuseries waiting to happen.

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