Robbie Williams just spilled some tea so piping hot it could boil Elton John’s piano keys. The 50-year-old former boy band heartthrob turned cheeky dad recently got candid about one of the more fabulous rumors swirling around his life: that he’s gay. Spoiler alert: he’s not—but oh, how he wishes he were.
The Flashback: 2004, A Tabloid Telenovela
Picture it: 2004. Low-rise jeans are wreaking havoc on society, and a tabloid decides to take a break from chasing Britney Spears to allege that Robbie had a “secret gay lover.” Naturally, Robbie wasn’t having it. He sued the pants off them—though not literally, because apparently, his pants were staying firmly heterosexual.
Fast forward to today, and Robbie’s still not over it—but not in the way you’d think. In an interview with The Guardian, he revealed he wasn’t offended by the rumors. No, he was devastated they weren’t true. “I’ve done everything but suck a c–k,” Robbie declared with the kind of dramatic flair that would make RuPaul clutch her pearls. “Honestly, you’ve never met somebody who wants to be gay as much as me.”
Robbie: The Ally Who Wished for More
Robbie didn’t just stop there; oh no, this is Robbie Williams. He waxed poetic about his deep affection for the LGBTQ+ community, tracing it all the way back to his early days with Take That. Turns out, gay bars weren’t just a refuge from bad karaoke—they were a sanctuary of safety for young Robbie.
“Where I’m from, you’ve got two main vibes: ‘Hey mate, want a pint?’ and ‘Hey mate, want a fight?’” Robbie explained, presumably while nursing a pint and dodging an imaginary punch. But in gay spaces? It was all acceptance, glitter, and disco lights. “It was safe, funny, and full of love,” he added. “Honestly, it was like stumbling into Narnia but with more Kylie Minogue tracks.”
The Bottom Line
Robbie Williams isn’t gay, but boy, does he wish he were. If there’s an alternate universe out there where he’s belting out “Angels” at drag brunch, Robbie wants in. Until then, he’ll just have to settle for being an honorary member of the community—because if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that Robbie doesn’t just wear his heart on his sleeve; he wears it with sequins and a cheeky wink.
