Breaking news from the royal circus: Princess Anne, the 73-year-old sister of King Charles, has been involved in a horse-related incident that landed her in the hospital. Yes, you read that right—she may have been hit by a horse. No, not the medieval jousting kind; just your regular, “Oops, I forgot to duck” kind.
Now, her dashing husband, Vice Admiral Sir Timothy Laurence, has emerged from the royal woodwork to give us the scoop on her condition.
“She’s bouncing back like a pro, thank you very much,” he chirped to reporters, as if he was describing a new lawnmower, via Sky News.
“We are both profoundly grateful to the medical team and hospital support staff for their expert care – and to the emergency services who were all so wonderful at the scene,” Sir Timothy added, undoubtedly while wearing a monocle and sipping tea. “We are both deeply touched by all the kind messages we have received from so many people near and far. It means a great deal.”
“She’s doing fine, slow but sure,” he reassured the public, probably while secretly praying she wouldn’t demand he find her favorite slippers hidden somewhere in their mansion.
In true husbandly fashion, Sir Timothy brought a bag of “a few little treats from home” for Princess Anne. Sources speculate it included her favorite biscuits, a teapot, and perhaps a snarky note reminding her to be more careful around horses.
Word from the palace is that Princess Anne is expected to make a full recovery from her minor injuries and concussion, though she might now be a bit more skeptical about getting too close to large, four-legged creatures.
Princess Anne is on the mend, Sir Timothy is the hero with the snacks, and horses everywhere are likely being issued royal restraining orders.
