Our favorite 30-year-old comedian is back, spilling the tea about his love-hate relationship with substances. Spoiler alert: there’s a plot twist!
On his latest stop in Atlantic City (because where else would you discuss life’s deepest struggles but in a city known for its slot machines and boardwalk fries?), Pete got real with his audience. According to The Daily Mail, he let everyone in on his one remaining vice: “I can’t quit weed yet. It’s all I have left.”
Yes, it’s true. Pete Davidson, the man who’s tangoed with coke, ketamine, and a pharmaceutical alphabet soup, is now down to just weed. It’s like the last survivor in a horror movie, clinging to dear life. “All I have is weed left, so it’s almost over, but I’m holding on for a little bit longer,” he confessed, probably with the same look your grandpa has when he’s holding onto the last piece of pie at Thanksgiving.
Flashback to September 2023, where Pete was fresh out of rehab, presumably still smelling of antiseptic and regret. During a comedy show, he dropped a bombshell about his daily ketamine habit, describing it as “magical.” Now, most people use magic for card tricks, but not Pete. He claimed the drug altered his mind so profoundly that “One time, I got The Wiggles to mesh with Schindler’s List.”
Let’s pause and appreciate that visual for a moment. Imagine a world where Dorothy the Dinosaur is dancing with Oskar Schindler. It’s either the worst acid trip or the best crossover episode ever.
Pete Davidson, still on his journey to sobriety, holding onto his last green friend. We can only hope the next stop on his tour includes less rehab and more hilarious confessions. Until then, pass the popcorn—and maybe some Cheetos for Pete.
