In news that had fans everywhere choking back sobs into their sequined jackets, Paula Abdul, the forever-62-year-old queen of “Cold Hearted” choreography, took to social media on Wednesday (September 4) to drop some seriously un-fun news. The much-anticipated “Straight Up! To Canada Tour” — which was going to kick off later this month — has been canceled, and yes, we’re as crushed as you are.
But why, you ask? Did she run out of glitter? Did her dance shoes explode from pure fabulousness? Nope. Turns out, Paula’s been body-slammed by injuries, and one of them requires a “minor procedure” (which is code for “surgeon with a tiny hammer and a lot of paperwork”). She’ll need some serious couch potato time to bounce back, which means no high kicks in Canada or even in the far reaches of Alaska and North Dakota. We’ll miss you, Paula!
In her official X (formerly known as Twitter, but still pronounced with the same level of confusion) post, Paula revealed the details — and because she’s Paula, she did it with all the grace of a pirouette.
Her (very heartfelt) statement went a little something like this:
“Hey fam, it’s me, your girl Paula. So, the good news: I’m still fabulous. The bad news: My body has decided to throw a tantrum. I’ve been doing my best to keep going, even got some fancy injections to feel like a superhero temporarily (cue the ‘Wolverine’ music), but here’s the tea — my injuries are just not ready to tour like the rest of me. Doctors have spoken, and apparently, ‘minor procedure’ is code for ‘you’re gonna be binging Netflix for 6-8 weeks.’ So, alas, no tour for now.
I’m SO sorry, Canada, Alaska, North Dakota — we had some epic memories to make. I was ready for the energy, the love, the glitter bombs, but I promise when I’m back, it’s gonna be bigger, better, and full of dance moves that’ll knock your socks (and maybe some shoes) off.
To my incredible fans: you are EVERYTHING. I love you, and while this breaks my heart (like, really — it’s full-on sad face emoji), I’ll be back soon, stronger and dancing like a woman who’s just been given the okay to put her feet back on the dance floor.
Refunds are coming at you like an Amazon delivery, so keep an eye out at your point of purchase. I’ll see you soon, and we’ll party harder than ever!
Love & gratitude, Paula. ✨”
Paula’s hitting pause, but we know she’ll be back before you can say, “two-step recovery plan.” In the meantime, we’ll be waiting patiently — or at least as patiently as one can while attempting to recreate her music videos in the living room. Get well soon, Paula!
(P.S. The “Straight Up! To Canada Tour” was supposed to start September 25 and run through October. So, uh, anyone have any plans for those dates now? Asking for a friend.)
Thank you for your love, your patience, and your understanding during this time.
With all my love and gratitude,
XoP ♥️💋🇨🇦 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/Ot7V4lZcd5— Paula Abdul (@PaulaAbdul) September 5, 2024