Paul Mescal vs. Marcello Hernandez: Battle of the Short Shorts on SNL

Buy Me A Coffee

Paul Mescal, Gladiator II heartthrob and professional brooder, waltzed into the Saturday Night Live spotlight on December 7, armed with Irish wit, a questionable sense of humor, and a deep, unshakable love for… short shorts.

The 28-year-old actor kicked off his monologue by roasting his own dramatic filmography: “I cry a lot on screen,” he seemed to telegraph. “But tonight? It’s comedy. Maybe.” From there, he dove headfirst into Irish stereotypes like a man unafraid of being gently scolded by his relatives at the next family reunion.

See also  Kenan Thompson Might Actually Be Immortal on 'SNL' and Honestly, We Support It

“There’s a nasty rumor that Irish people have sex with our cousins,” he declared, to audible gasps from the audience. But before anyone could cancel him on Twitter, Paul clarified: “That’s offensive and ridiculous. We have sex with our second cousins.” That’s right, keep it in the family tree, but at least a branch or two away.

As if that wasn’t enough to make the SNL crowd choke on their popcorn, Paul tackled another Irish myth: kilts. “No, that’s the Scottish,” he said, correcting the record. “The Irish? We rock short shorts.” And to prove his point, he flashed a photo of his own alabaster gams, gleaming like two beams of pale moonlight.

See also  Watch Maya Rudolph Impersonate Beyonce Eating Wings On 'Saturday Night Live'

Enter Marcello Hernandez, SNL cast member and apparent short-shorts enthusiast. Bounding onto the stage in his own scandalously high-cut pair, Marcello looked ready to challenge Paul to a duel—except instead of swords, the weapon of choice was sheer thigh exposure.

Paul wasn’t buying it, though. “They’re too short,” he quipped, as if the man wasn’t already one accidental movement away from turning the SNL stage into a whole different kind of show.

See also  RIP ‘The Bondsman’: Kevin Bacon’s Demon Rodeo Ends After One Wild Season

Marcello, unbothered, countered with the wisdom of someone who clearly knows his way around a pair of booty-baring bottoms: “The shorter the shorts, the taller you look.”

And thus, SNL history was made—not with a laugh, but with two grown men vying for dominance in the unholy arena of short shorts. Somewhere, the Gladiator gods wept.

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Reba McEntire Addresses Rumors She’s Leaving ‘The Voice’

Country music legend, Reba McEntire, is here to clear...

HBO Drops ‘The Last of Us’ Season 2 Premiere Date—Grab Your Mushrooms!

Attention apocalypse enthusiasts and Pedro Pascal stans: The Last...

Dolly Parton Talks About Beyonce Being Snubbed By The Country Music Awards

Dolly Parton, the queen of country sass and sequins,...

Molly Ringwald Politely Yeets the Idea of a ‘Breakfast Club’ Remake Into the Sun

Molly Ringwald—queen of 80s sass, prom dresses, and emotionally...

Machine Gun Kelly Hates Being in Public

Picture this: 33-year-old rapper, Machine Gun Kelly, decides to...

Gwyneth Paltrow Returns To Acting In ‘Marty Supreme’ Starring Timothee Chalamet

Gwyneth Paltrow is coming back to acting! That’s right,...

Dakota Johnson Hasn’t Seen ‘Madame Web’ Yet Amidst Terrible Reviews

Dakota Johnson, the Marvel maven herself, has spilled the...

You Might Also Like

Chappell Roan Broke A Lollapalooza Record For The Biggest Attendance Of All Time

Chappell Roan is currently taking the music world by...

Sabrina Carpenter Wears Hand-Me-Down From Madonna In Paris

Sabrina Carpenter rocked a blast-from-the-past frock for a swanky...

Julia Fox Cast In Upcoming LGBTQ Movie ‘Perfect’

Julia Fox is back, and this time, she's trading...

King Charles’ Portrait Artist Jonathan Yeo Responds To Controversy

Buckle up for a royal rollercoaster of conspiracies and...