Sabrina Carpenter just dropped the “Manchild” music video and it is a cinematic masterpiece of petty revenge, glittery glam, and men being embarrassing in HD.
At exactly 10 AM ET on Friday, June 6 — aka the official holiday of dragging your exes into the desert and roasting them like marshmallows — Sabrina, the 26-year-old platinum-blonde pop sorceress and Grammy-snatching fairy queen, released the visuals for her latest anthem, “Manchild.”
And y’all… this ain’t just a music video. This is therapy.
It’s Eat Pray Love meets Mad Max with a splash of America’s Next Top Model (desert season).
What happens in the video?
Picture this: Sabrina struts through a sun-scorched wasteland in outfits so fierce they probably caused a global fabric shortage, while surrounded by an army of chaotic, useless, emotionally unavailable men doing what they do best — absolutely nothing.
One is wearing socks with sandals.
One is crying because she didn’t like his podcast.
Another tried to gaslight her using a TikTok quote he misquoted.
And what does Sabrina do?
She runs. Full sprint. Giving Florence Pugh in Midsommar but with a beat you can shake your ass to.
The lyrics? Pure scorched earth poetry:
“Man-child / Why you always come a-running to me? / F–k my life / Won’t you let an innocent woman be?”
“Never heard of self-care / Half your brain just ain’t there…”
Shakespeare could NEVER. Freud is SHAKING.
This is not just a chorus. This is a multi-generational cursebreaker. This is a hex. This is the national anthem for every girl who’s ever had a man say, “My ex was crazy” and then prove exactly why.
On Instagram, Sabrina revealed the deeper meaning:
“This song is about being too hot and fabulous to babysit a grown man with a fantasy football addiction.”
—Sabrina probably, if she was being honest.
TL;DR:
The “Manchild” music video is an Emmy-worthy, Oscar-adjacent, Grammy-multiplying fever dream where Sabrina Carpenter rebrands heartbreak into haute couture. If you’ve ever dated someone who thinks “emotional availability” is a new iPhone feature, this video is for you.
Watch it now or forever hold your emotionally stunted ex in your group chat memes. 💅🔥🎬
June Osborne didn’t just overthrow Gilead’s creepy Commander Club—she did it with Taylor Swift blasting in the background like a revenge anthem from the Book of Reputation.
Yes, Swifties and Handmaids alike, it happened. Taylor’s re-recorded “Look What You Made Me Do (Taylor’s Version, obviously)” made its dramatic debut in The Handmaid’s Tale, just as June was out here serving some righteous feminist wrath like it was a brunch special. The scene? A full-blown mutiny. The soundtrack? A woman scorned. The moment? Iconic.
But how in the apocalyptic blessed be did this holy collab occur?
Enter: Scientologist Elisabeth Moss, award-winning actress, professional eye-roller (in character, of course), and now certified Swift Whisperer. While strutting her divine self at the 2025 Gotham Awards—where The Handmaid’s Tale collected the Ensemble Tribute like it was a Best Dystopia trophy at the Grammys—Moss revealed she did the unthinkable: she wrote Taylor a letter. An actual letter. Not a text. Not a DM. Not even a pigeon with glitter. A letter.
And guess what? TAYLOR READ IT.
“Honestly, the feedback was her saying yes,” Elisabeth said, as if that wasn’t a history-altering event worthy of a federal holiday.
She then spilled the emotional tea. “I wrote her about what I felt like the song meant for the episode,” she shared, probably while clutching a quill and wearing a corset (unclear). “And what her music means to me and the cast.”
Basically, Elisabeth was like, “Dear Taylor, please bless our revolution with your battle cry of sass and reclamation.” And Taylor, standing atop her glitter throne built of Grammys and snake emojis, said, “Bet.”
And because no pop culture event is complete without a tinfoil-hat theory, Elisabeth ALSO addressed the conspiracy that Taylor Swift secretly cameoed on The Handmaid’s Tale. Fans were out here like: “Was she one of the background handmaids? Did she smuggle a guitar into Gilead? Was she the one throwing shade at Aunt Lydia in Morse code?”
Elisabeth didn’t say no, so… we choose to believe Taylor was there. Possibly disguised as a particularly stylish resistance fighter with a sparkle in her eye and a 13 tattoo on her ankle.
So there you have it: Elisabeth Moss manifested Taylor Swift into a dystopian uprising with nothing but a letter, a dream, and elite taste in revenge anthems. Gilead didn’t stand a chance.
Long story short: You come for June Osborne? She’ll come back with Swift in surround sound. 🕊️💣🔥
Ciara has officially detonated a remix so powerful it made Beyoncé blink twice. That’s right, the original Y2K pop-n-snap legend dropped a reloaded, restyled, re-stomped remix of her track “Ecstasy,” and she did not come to play. She came with Teyana Taylor and Normani, aka the Avengers of sultry dance break energy. This remix isn’t a song—it’s a spiritual awakening in a silk bodysuit.
🚨 THE FACTS (BUT MAKE IT DRAMATIC) 🚨
“Ecstasy” is the glitter-covered lead single from Ciara’s incoming ‘CiCi’ album, dropping July 11, aka the day Spotify servers may explode from overuse. But instead of just letting the track ride solo into the sunset, CiCi called up two forces of nature and said, “Hey, let’s turn this into a sensual girl-power séance.” And boom—Teyana and Normani entered like smoke through a velvet curtain.
💬 WHAT THE QUEENS SAID (TL;DR: ICONIC ENERGY ONLY)
Ciara, sipping something expensive in a wind tunnel of excellence, declared:
“Teyana and Normani are trailblazing goddesses who blessed this track with extra sauce. We got sisterhood, we got bold vibes, we got enough nostalgia to reboot TRL.”
Sis basically said, “If you’re not sweating glitter and crying tears of empowerment, did you even listen to it?”
Teyana Taylor, a.k.a. the human embodiment of a Vogue spread, said:
“When Ci hit me up, I didn’t even blink. Being on this with my soul sisters?? That’s not music, that’s alchemy. We’re serving sensuality, unity, and a whole buffet of soul.”
Translation: She showed up, she snatched, she ascended.
And Normani, whose mere whisper makes flowers bloom, added:
“This is a full-circle, stars-aligned, ancestors-dancing moment. I’ve worshipped these women, and now I’m on a track with them? Someone pinch me. Gently though, I’m wearing Swarovski.”
She then levitated briefly and transformed into a dove.
🎶 THE LYRICS (A.K.A. THE NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM)
Ciara coos in the chorus like she’s floating on a velvet cloud inside a lava lamp:
“My body comes alive / When you get real close / You gon’ be surprised / If I get exposed…”
And honestly, if your speakers didn’t start blushing during that line, check your aux cord. You’re probably possessed by a landline.
She finishes with:
“You’re like a hit of ecstasy / I can feel you all inside / And baby, I’m on one tonight / Ready, set, let’s go.”
Whew. It’s giving fever dream. It’s giving disco slow burn. It’s giving ‘turn the lights down and ascend.’
📢 FINAL VERDICT:
This isn’t just a remix. It’s an event. It’s the Oscars of female empowerment. It’s a musical crystal that opens third eyes and maybe time portals. If you aren’t listening to this with your face beat, lights low, and surrounded by scented candles that cost more than your rent, what are you even doing?
Listen now, and prepare for your serotonin to cartwheel into outer space.
Sabrina “Tiny But Mighty” Carpenter has finally spilled the peppermint mocha tea on her chaotic summer anthem “Manchild” — a track so spicy, it’s been sending the internet into a forensic tailspin trying to decode who it’s about.
Fans immediately started sharpening their pitchforks and circling Barry Keoghan’s house like it was a deleted scene from Midsommar. But plot twist! Sabrina has officially declared, “Calm down, internet detectives. Barry didn’t inspire this one. You can put your clown wigs away.”
In a gloriously chaotic Instagram scroll-worthy note, Sabrina revealed the real inspo behind Manchild, and guess what? It’s not just one man — it’s a whole Olympic relay team of emotionally unavailable dudes from her youthful era of romance delusion.
“This song became to me something I can look back on that will score the mental montage to the very confusing and fun young adult years of life,” she wrote, which is poetic code for “I dated a bunch of men who were basically sentient red flags in designer jeans.”
She described the vibe as “a loving eye roll,” which is EXACTLY what you do when a guy says he’s “just emotionally not ready for a relationship” but still texts you “u up?” at 2:07 a.m. every full moon.
“It feels like a never-ending road trip in the summer,” she continued — aka that part of the trip where the AC breaks, you’re lost on a dirt road, the aux is stuck on Nickelback, and your situationship is crying in the passenger seat because his “ex still follows him on Goodreads.”
But fear not! Sabrina wrote this melodic therapy session shortly after wrapping her album Short ‘n Sweet, which we now know was basically her Burn Book: Deluxe Edition. And instead of keeping the song in the vault for future court evidence, she generously handed it to us just in time for Hot Girl Summer 2.0.
So go ahead, roll down your windows, scream “MANCHILD” into the abyss, and thank all the boy-men who gave us material to dance-cry to.
Thank you, Sabrina. Thank you, men (for the plot).
💅💔🛻🔥
Addison Rae has just birthed her debut album and — you guessed it — she named it after herself. Because when you’ve spent 24 years being iconic, gorgeous, and vaguely unbothered, what else do you name your magnum opus? “Brian”? No. You name it ADDISON.
The album Addison dropped precisely at midnight on June 6, which is statistically the most dramatic time to release anything, ever. It contains 12 tracks of pure Addison-ness, including smashy bops like “Diet Pepsi” (not sponsored… yet), “Headphones On” (aka my anthem at brunch), “Aquamarine” (for mermaids with trust issues), “High Fashion” (because poor people can’t relate), and “Fame Is a Gun” (pew pew, darling).
But wait, there’s more! Addison also dropped the music video for “Times Like These,” which is basically a high-fashion fever dream directed by Ethan James Green — a man so chic he probably sleeps in Balenciaga and drinks rainwater from a crystal goblet. This is his first music video, meaning he has no choice but to be legendary now. Sorry!
Addison got all sentimental (as pop girls must) and wrote on Instagram:
“I’ve been thinking about everything that has led me to this moment… the ups, downs, & arounds have all contributed to this album. I wouldn’t change a thing. In a way, I’ve been working on this album for 24 years.. ❤️”
Translation: “This album is my horcrux and if you don’t stream it, I will fade into sparkly dust.”
In her sit-down with Zane Lowe (AKA the therapist for emotionally vulnerable pop stars), Addison got deep. Like, girl-who-wrote-in-a-journal-on-the-rooftop-in-the-rain deep. She explained how she’s been hesitant to go full promo-mode because this album is ✨special✨ and not just another thing she’s getting paid to hawk like energy gummies or protein cereal that tastes like drywall.
“It’s so intimate and so precious that I don’t want it to feel gimmicky,” she said, while probably wearing lip gloss so powerful it has its own gravitational pull.
Addison also made it clear that this wasn’t just for the #sponcon. It’s for the girlies, the gays, the emotionally unstable, the romantic delulus, the headphone-wearers, and the people who still think TikTok fame is a personality.
“I made it for myself… and my friends… and also for literally everyone please stream it now I’m begging.”
You can listen to Addison wherever music is sold, streamed, or beamed directly into your third eye. Spotify? Obviously. Apple Music? Of course. Amazon Music? Sure, grandma. YouTube Music? For the multitaskers. And for the opulent elite: exclusive magenta vinyl at Urban Outfitters, because nothing says “main character energy” like spending $40 on pink plastic.
So go forth, stream Addison, and remember:
In Times Like These, there’s only one solution — be Addison Rae or perish trying. 💅🔥🎤
Mariah “Elusive Chanteuse, Whisper Register Warrior” Carey has just unleashed a new single and it is so spicy, your headphones might file for workers’ comp.
💅 Introducing: “Type Dangerous” – Mariah’s official anthem for anyone who has ever looked at a red flag and said, “Ooh, is that velvet?”
🎤 The Lyrics? A Masterclass in Romantic Self-Sabotage.
Chorus slaps harder than a glam squad mid-tour:
“Lookin’ for the dangerous type (Type, type, type) / I like ‘em dangerous / I’m lookin’ for the dangerous type / I said I like ‘em dangerous.”
Sis is not just looking for drama—she’s booking it on Expedia and packing a sequin carry-on.
🎶 What’s the vibe?
Think: If a luxury perfume bottle had feelings and unresolved issues with a Scorpio ex. This track isn’t just a song—it’s a five-carat sonic slap wrapped in glitter and dipped in high notes only visible to cats and angels.
👑 Mariah Speaks (and Slays):
“I’ve been locked up in the studio for quite some time working my behind off on new music,” she revealed, presumably while lounging in a diamond-encrusted robe and negotiating whistle tones with the moon.
Translation: The Queen has been cooking, and the kitchen is HOT.
🎬 Video Incoming!
The music video is being directed by Joseph “I’ve Directed Every Iconic Pop Moment Since 2001” Kahn, which means we’re about to witness Mariah in some sort of fabulous chaos—probably slow-mo walking away from an explosion of champagne and bad decisions.
🧊 Live Dangerously, Darlings:
Want to see Miss Mariah summon thunder and butterflies live? She’s headlining Capital’s Summertime Ball on June 15, and yes, the notes will be high, the heels will be higher, and your soul will levitate.
📺 WATCH the lyric video below before it gets nominated for a Nobel Prize in Sassology.
Seriously. It’s Mariah season, babes. The air just got 86% more humid with drama, and “Type Dangerous” is your new toxic bop of the summer.
Mariah Carey has entered the group chat. Proceed with caution. And glitter. 💖✨
Sabrina Carpenter has just dropped her latest single “Manchild,” and it’s giving ✨petty princess in pink✨ energy, chaos glitter, and just a pinch of “get a therapist” for whoever inspired this lyrical roast beef sandwich. But despite what Twitter, TikTok, and your cousin with no boundaries might be saying, it probably isn’t about Barry Keoghan. Plot twist? Let’s unpack this mess.
First things first: Yes, she said “Manchild.”
And yes, that’s probably the most polite thing she could’ve called him.
The track kicks off with Sabrina laughing and saying “oh, boy,” which is the musical equivalent of someone unzipping their emotional baggage and dumping it on the floor with a wink. It screams, “He thinks 3-in-1 shampoo is a personality trait.”
Naturally, fans went full-FBI mode and decided the song must be about her ex, Barry Keoghan—because who else could inspire a lyric like:
“Manchild, why you always come a-runnin’ to me? / F–k my life, won’t you let an insane woman be?”
Like… please. Sabrina really said “I am not well and it’s your fault, sir.” ICONIC.
But then… the plot thickens. Like, eyebrow-gel thick.
In verse two, Sabrina hits us with a line that’s basically a lyrical backhand:
“Why so sexy if so dumb? / And how survive the Earth so long / If I’m not there, it won’t get dumb / I choose to blame your mom.”
And BOOM—there goes the Barry theory faster than a manchild ghosting after two dates and a shared Spotify playlist.
Because here’s the tea: Barry tragically lost his mom when he was just 12, and he’s spoken publicly about that loss and his struggles with addiction. So yeah, Sabrina dragging his mom? Absolutely not. She may be petty, but she’s not heartless. There’s no way she’d go there. Not even in a bridge with a high note.
So if it’s not Barry… then WHO is the Manchild?
Someone. Somewhere. Out there. Possibly wearing Crocs and sending “u up?” texts at 2am.
Sabrina wrote this lyrical clapback on what she calls “the best random Tuesday of my life” with songwriting royalty Amy Allen and Jack Antonoff. And guess what? She was still dating Barry at the time. So either this was a musical premonition (Sabrina Witch Trials when?), or it’s about another ex, a ghost of situationships past, or that barista who spelled her name “Sabrinahh” one too many times.
The Verdict?
Barry is probably in the clear. But the manchild population at large? They’ve been served.
And honestly, this bop might just become the national anthem for anyone who’s ever dated a man who thinks “emotional maturity” is a Marvel character.
Go stream it now, and if your ex texts “Is this about me?”—send him the lyrics and a clown emoji. 🎪💋
Sabrina said: know your worth, then double it, then block him.
London’s getting a lil’ spicy. Rachel Zegler — yes, that Rachel Zegler, the Disney princess turned Broadway baddie turned award show philosopher — is about to descend from the heavens (or at least the upper floor of the London Palladium) for her West End debut in Evita. But plot twist: she’s already causing chaos, viral videos, and fan theories hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna. 🍿🔥
So, here’s what’s going down across the pond:
Miss Zegler, 24 years young and approximately 120% more talented than the rest of us on our best day, was caught ON CAMERA in full Evita glam — we’re talking presidential realness with a side of diva elegance — belting “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” from the actual balcony of the London Palladium.
Yes, the actual balcony. Like, the one where pigeons usually hang out and judge tourists. 🕊️👀
Now the internet is foaming at the mouth and theorizing like it’s a Taylor Swift easter egg hunt, and honestly? We’re here for it. Here are the top three bananas-level guesses the theatre-obsessed masses are throwing into the void:
💅 Theory #1: Promo Video Magic
The most boring (but probably most real) theory is that Rachel’s just filming a promo video. “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” is basically the Beyoncé-level hit of Evita, so it’s totally normal for her to record it while pretending to rule the nation from above. PR 101. Still iconic.
🎭 Theory #2: Live Balcony Drama Every. Single. Night.
Now we’re cookin’ with theatrical crack. Some fans believe the balcony moment is not just for promo. Oh no, baby. They think Jamie Lloyd (the Tony-nominated mad genius behind the current stage-meets-cinema version of Sunset Boulevard) is about to pull the ol’ switcheroo — sending Rachel OUTSIDE the theater mid-show like she’s a magical musical UberEats delivery for the public.
That means audiences would sit inside, watching her perform live on a screen like it’s Evita: The IMAX Experience. Real? Unclear. Daring? Extremely. Likely to make theater purists burst into flames? Absolutely.
🎥 Theory #3: Pre-Recorded Vibes with a Sprinkle of Stage Presence
This one’s a bit of a compromise. Fans think Rachel’s performance was filmed — not for an ad, but to be woven into the live show as cinematic seasoning. Imagine her singing live on stage, with a majestic video of her presidential power pose playing behind her like a holy aura. It’s giving multimedia moment. It’s giving Oscars meets Broadway. It’s giving… everything.
Either way, we’ll find out June 14 – September 6 when her limited run begins and theater kids everywhere collectively combust. 💣💃
So grab your tickets, warm up your opera glasses, and prepare to weep for Argentina — because Rachel Zegler is about to snatch wigs, redefine musical theater, and maybe install a drive-thru musical window at the Palladium.
Stay tuned, stay fabulous, and watch the viral footage before it becomes an NFT. 🪩✨
[WATCH THE VIDEO HERE] (Don’t worry, it won’t bite. Unless Jamie Lloyd directed it to.)
Jonathan “Mr. Twinkle Eyes” Bailey just dumped a cauldron of chaotic charm in a new interview with British GQ, and it’s messier than Elphaba’s potion shelf during a full moon. The Bridgerton beefcake turned Wicked warlock is dishing on dragons, drama, and dinosaur-related delusions in the Heroes Issue—and honestly, we’ve never been more heroically unprepared.
On Wicked: For Good — AKA Wicked: But With Extra Glitter and Rent Money
So, apparently in the stage version, Elphaba lives in a smoke machine. But now that it’s a film? Baby, she’s got real estate. Jonathan teases that Fiyero and Elphaba’s post-defection hideaway looks like Architectural Digest meets Shrek’s swamp spa. “On stage, it’s dry ice and vibes,” he says. “But now it’s Cynthia Erivo and I brooding in a fully feng shui lair.” Y’all, expect emerald countertops and mood lighting.
On Filming Near the M1 — Because What Is Reality?
Filming in fake Munchkinland was apparently so bonkers that commuters were pulling over on the highway like, “Is that Ariana Grande belting in mezzo soprano next to a man dressed like a tap-dancing tin can?” Jonathan described it as Independence Day, but with more wigs and drones and fewer aliens (we think).
On Accidentally Headbutting Ariana Grande (Yes, Really)
Four hours to learn one dance move. One headbutt. Infinite gay panic. Jonathan recalls rehearsing with Ariana and accidentally smacking heads. “I was like, gotta go! She might’ve headbutted me back, but it was like a literal meeting of minds.” The collision of pop diva and Shakespearean thespian energy could’ve powered a small city.
On Joining the Jurassic Park Franchise — Dino Daddy Vibes
Jonathan’s now stomping into Jurassic World: Rebirth, which we assume is about dinosaurs wearing monocles and filing taxes. “There’s a lot to be in awe of,” he says. “And if you’re not, you deserve a slap on the botty bott bott.” We don’t know what a “botty bott bott” is, but it sounds illegal in 37 states.
On Teaming Up with Jeff Goldblum — A Fever Dream We’re Begging For
He teases a future dino-date with Jeff Goldblum: “Dr. Ian Malcolm and Dr. Henry Loomis on a night out.” So basically… leather pants, chaotic flirting, and a T-Rex Uber ride home. We demand a spin-off, preferably directed by Baz Luhrmann.
On Co-Star Scarlett Johansson Calling Him “Twinkly”
ScarJo chimed in like a supportive aunt at brunch: “He’s twinkly! He’s deep! He’s not just vibes, he’s an ocean of feelings in a glittering suit!” Okay Scarlett, calm down before we marry him ourselves.
On Rejection, Self-Discovery, and Being That Girl Since Primary School
Jonathan says he never thought he’d play a leading man. Honestly? Our jaws are on the Jurassic floor. He also remembers knowing everything about himself as a kid. “Then it gets murky.” (Translation: puberty is a scam.)
On Why Theatre Shouldn’t Be for Just the Rich and Ridiculous
Jonathan is fighting for theatre to stay hot, messy, and accessible. “Nothing beats being in the room,” he says. Which, frankly, is how we feel about brunch and Beyoncé concerts.
On Playing Tim in Fellow Travellers — Tragedy, But Make It Sparkly
Speaking on portraying queerness and joy during the AIDS crisis, he declares: “People had fun. Don’t let anyone tell you they didn’t.” Jonathan said “Let’s honor the grief, but let’s also honor the glitter.”
TL;DR: Jonathan Bailey is serving full-course meals of charisma, chaos, and couture-level quotes. Whether he’s duetting with Ariana, dodging drone strikes in Munchkinland, or preparing for a dino-night out with Jeff Goldblum, one thing is clear:
✨ This man is not just For Good. He’s For Everything. ✨
Now excuse us while we headbutt someone out of sheer excitement.
🦖💚🎭
Jonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the WorldJonathan Bailey Spills Wicked Tea, Jurassic Giggles, and the Accidental Ariana Grande Headbutt Heard ’Round the World
BREAKING: JENNIFER “I-DO-EVERYTHING” LOPEZ is swinging onto your screen like a glitter-covered tarantula in “Kiss of the Spider Woman”—and this ain’t your grandma’s musical (unless your grandma was a Broadway baddie with a flair for DRAMA and sequins).
The trailer just dropped harder than JLo’s skincare routine on your credit card, and it is serving broadway-meets-prison-fantasy-realness. Directed by Bill Condon (a.k.a. the man who gave us Chicago and Dreamgirls and therefore has never missed), this film is based on the 1976 novel by Manuel Puig, which became a Tony-winning musical because, duh, gays and glitter always win.
✨THE PLOT:
So, imagine this:
Diego Luna (yes, that Diego from your dreams) is Valentín, a political prisoner with cheekbones that could cut glass.
He’s locked in a cell with Tonatiuh (who’s not just a star—he’s a whole supernova), playing Molina, a window dresser in jail for some… public fabulousness.
While they vibe out in prison, Molina escapes the doom and gloom by obsessively recounting scenes from a fictional old-Hollywood musical starring his diva queen supreme, Ingrid Luna, who is—SURPRISE—played by Jennifer Lopez in full sparkling spider drag.
🕷️YES, SHE SINGS. YES, SHE SERVES. YES, SHE SLAYS.
JLo steps into the role of Spider Woman with a voice that could melt steel and cheekbones that could stop traffic. She’s giving Old Hollywood glamour, Broadway belting, and dangerous arachnid energy, all while wrapped in enough fabric to reupholster the Louvre.
And if that’s not enough, let me throw some red sequins in your face: The film is hitting theaters October 10, which means you have until then to emotionally prepare your soul and book your tickets before the Swifties figure out JLo sings in this and sell it out in 5 minutes.
🎥 Produced by someone mysterious (but very much in JLo’s phone contacts)
You’ll have to dig to find out who exactly’s behind the curtain with her, but let’s just say—if Jennifer’s involved, the receipts are spicy and the checks are cleared.
So go ahead, press play on that trailer and let your jaw dislocate itself.
Broadway. Prison. Spider Woman. JLo. Say less.
🕷️💋💃 Kiss of the Spider Woman — Coming for your wigs, your tears, and your entire Halloween costume inspiration.
Queen of Everything Ever, Madonna, is resurrecting a long-lost remix album from her 1998 space priestess era—and it’s called “Veronica Electronica”. Yes, that name sounds like a robot dominatrix who DJs in Saturn’s sexiest nightclub. And yes, we’re obsessed.
She’s 66, she’s ageless, and she just unearthed a time capsule from the Y2K rave abyss. This isn’t just an album drop. This is a sparkly silver event from the timeline where glitter never died and club beats heal your ancestral trauma.
💿 THE LOST ALBUM THAT WENT POOF!… UNTIL NOW
Back in 1998, Madonna had just dropped Ray of Light and turned into a mystical yoga mother who whispered poetry over trance beats. And apparently, in the background, she was also cooking up Veronica Electronica—a remix fever dream that never saw the light of day. Until now. Twenty-six years later, she decided to casually slap on some eyeliner and release it like it’s no big deal.
According to Madonna.com (which is canon, obviously), the album includes 8 clubbed-out tracks that were originally supposed to melt minds in the ‘90s. Expect newly edited, fabulously unhinged remixes by beat sorcerers like Peter Rauhofer, William Orbit, Sasha, BT, and Victor Calderone.
Also included? A never-before-released demo called Gone, Gone, Gone—which, ironically, is now here, here, here.
💿 SHE’S SHINY. SHE’S LIMITED EDITION. SHE’S SILVER AF.
And no, she’s not just releasing this in a boring cardboard sleeve. Oh no, darling. This thing is being pressed on silver vinyl so shiny it probably reflects your past lives. The album comes wrapped in silver mylar packaging (yes, like space blankets but make it couture), and includes a 10×10 inch lithograph that screams, “I have taste and own at least one crystal.”
Collectors, scalpers, and the ghost of Studio 54—start your engines.
🪩 WHAT IN THE ASTRAL PLANE IS ON THIS THING?
SIDE A
01 – Drowned World/Substitute For Love (BT & Sasha Bucklodge Ashram New Edit) – For meditating while emotionally spiraling on a club floor.
02 – Ray Of Light (Sasha Twilo Mix Edit) – Prepare to ascend. Literally.
03 – Skin (The Collaboration Remix Edit) – The song equivalent of licking electricity.
04 – Nothing Really Matters (Club 69 Speed Mix Meets The Dub) – For when you realize nothing matters except this bassline.
SIDE B
05 – Sky Fits Heaven (Victor Calderone Future New Edit) – You will astral project.
06 – Frozen (Widescreen Mix and Drums) – Let it go before Let It Go was even a concept.
07 – The Power Of Good-Bye (Fabien’s Good God Mix Edit) – Say goodbye to sanity.
08 – Gone, Gone, Gone (Original Demo Version) – Previously gone. Now found. Thanks, Madge.
🎉 RELEASE DATE: JULY 25
Set your alarms. Mark your calendars. Light your incense. Veronica Electronica is beaming down from the space rave mothership on July 25.
Until then, the “Skin” remix is already slapping its way across streaming platforms. Stream it. Stare into the void. Grow stronger.
Madonna said, “I’m not done,” and the universe said, “Yasss, mother.”
Miley “Tongue Out, Mic Drop” Cyrus is back at it again with the petty, the shady, and the absolutely iconic energy we crave like overpriced matcha.
So here’s the tea, served piping hot and slightly glittery: during a recent fan meet-and-greet, Queen Miley (age 32, zodiac sign: Chaos) decided to scribble a little love note on a fan’s vinyl copy of her latest era-defining, universe-shifting album Something Beautiful.
And what did she write?
“The best Liam.”
Boom. Mic drop. Fireworks explode. Liam Hemsworth’s ego softly weeps in Australian.
Yes, that Liam—her ex-husband, ex-love, ex-reason-for-writing-at-least-three-bangers. The shade wasn’t just subtle. It was so slick it slid past TSA security undetected.
The fan, who is obviously now a certified legend in the making, posted a pic of the sacred, shady inscription to X (formerly Twitter, currently a tech bro midlife crisis), and posed with Miley like they were both in on some secret joke that Liam will definitely pretend not to see but definitely already screenshot.
Their caption? “me when I’m the best Liam.”
Somewhere, Liam Hemsworth is probably staring out into the ocean, whispering, “But I was in The Hunger Games…”
For those who missed the drama (aka lived under a rock with no Wi-Fi): Miley and Liam were locked in a wild 10-year rollercoaster of a situationship. They finally got married in December 2018, then dramatically tapped out just seven months later like a soap opera plot twist. Divorce finalized in January 2020. Cue the ballads, the bops, and a whole lot of emotional damage on both sides.
But now? Miley is thriving. She’s scribbling savage inscriptions. She’s collecting Grammys. She’s giving us Bangerz-level petty with endless grown woman elegance.
And Liam? Well… he’s just out here… trying his best. Probably Googling “how to legally change your name if Miley says you’re not the best Liam.”
Moral of the story: If Miley ever signs your vinyl, may she declare you superior to an ex. Because in the game of subtle shade, Miley Cyrus is the undefeated champion and we are merely backup dancers in her glittery revenge tour. 💅✨
Dora & the Search for Sol Dorado just dropped a trailer and it is giving Indiana Jones meets Y2K Latina slay queen energy—and we are eating it up like map-shaped churros.
💅Starring Samantha Lorraine as Dora the “I’ve Been Through Some Things” Explorer, our girl is now 16, armed with eyeliner, trauma, and the vocabulary of someone who’s been narrating jungle adventures since birth. She’s out here dodging booby traps, decoding ancient mysteries, and slapping evil in the face with a friendship bracelet. Character development? More like character glow-up.
🎒THE PLOT? OH, IT’S JUICY: Dora, her hunky-yet-wholesome cousin Diego (Jacob Rodriguez, certified jungle zaddy-in-training), and two brand-new chaos goblins—Naiya (who’s giving “CEO of common sense”) and her little brother Sonny (who has the energy of 47 Red Bulls and no regrets)—are on a jungle road trip from hell. Their mission? Snatch the legendary treasure of Sol Dorado before it falls into the wrong hands (aka someone who probably says “Let’s destroy the rainforest for profit” unironically).
🧠And just when you thought this was gonna be a cute jungle stroll, boom—Camila the Crusader (played by Daniella Pineda) enters like Lara Croft’s chiller cousin who drinks matcha and solves ancient riddles before breakfast. Oh, and plot twist—she’s Dora’s childhood hero. No pressure, Dora.
🙈WAIT. WHO’S THAT? IT’S YOUR BOY, Boots, voiced by none other than Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias. Yes, the monkey is back. He’s fluffy. He’s funny. And he’s got opinions on everything from vine-swinging etiquette to existential dread. This monkey does not monkey around.
📅Mark your calendars and cancel your plans, sweeties: “Dora & the Search for Sol Dorado” drops July 2nd on Paramount+ and Nickelodeon in the U.S., and then it’s swinging its way around the globe like a jungle vine with WiFi.
✨It’s got danger. It’s got drama. It’s got ancient ruins, teenage angst, and a monkey voiced by a comedy legend. What else do you need? A map? You already know Dora’s got you covered.
Palm Beach, Florida — where the sun shines, the gossip steams, and apparently, international pop queens and Super Bowl-winning tight ends strut around like prom royalty in a Nicholas Sparks movie adaptation.
On a balmy Wednesday night (June 4th — mark your horoscopes accordingly), Taylor “Miss Americana” Swift and Travis “Catch These Hands (Gently)” Kelce were spotted doing what can only be described as a public display of affection… HAND-HOLDING. Yes, guys. Actual fingers. Intertwined. In the wild. Society may never recover.
Taylor, who has clearly retired from her “Reputation” era of revenge dresses and snake metaphors, was serving “rich aunt who owns a vineyard in Italy” realness in a black mini dress that whispered “effortless chic” and screamed “I’m a billionaire and I’m still hotter than you.” Travis matched her vibe like a loyal golden retriever boyfriend, rocking a black short-sleeved button-down and checkered pants that said, “I moonlight as a Miami magician.” Stylish? Confusing? Who cares — he’s 6’5” and in love.
The lovebirds were caught on video (because obviously, Palm Beach is just The Truman Show now) strolling out of a restaurant after what was probably a bougie dinner that involved something infused, something charred, and something flown in from Japan that used to have fins. They stopped to chat with a mysterious bystander (probably someone asking if Travis was the guy from the Tostitos commercial) before doing the most Hollywood power move imaginable — grabbing each other’s hands and heading to their car like they’re closing out a rom-com.
But wait — there’s more! Earlier that same day, Travis had the audacity to talk about Taylor on his podcast,New Heights, because why let tabloids have all the fun? He mentioned her re-recording her masters, a.k.a. “snatching her musical crown jewels back from the trolls,” and we love a supportive sportsman who knows his girlfriend’s entire discography.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce held hands
In Palm Beach
While looking like the homecoming king and queen of Planet Fame
And probably left that restaurant with 12 dessert forks in Travis’ pocket, “by accident”
Love is real. Fame is eternal. And holding hands is the new engagement ring.
Stay tuned. Next week: They might gasp share an umbrella.
In news that could only come from the most glamorously surgically-enhanced dynasty on Earth, Kris Jenner just casually confessed that her face was zhuzhed up by the same Beverly Hills wizard who sculpted Kylie Jenner’s chesticles. Yes, guys, the same doctor who did Kylie’s boobs also gave Mama Kris her “Face 2.0″—and no, this is not a Marvel origin story… unless we’re talking Botox: Infinity War.
Let’s rewind.
This whole revelation exploded when Kylie (queen of lip kits and subtle shade) dropped a truth bomb in a TikTok comment like it was no big deal: “Oh hey btw, the twins were handcrafted by Dr. Garth Fisher, xoxo.” Cue the internet gasping, influencers clutching their iced matchas, and Dr. Fisher having a mini cardiac event in his Versace scrubs.
But worry not! Dr. Fisher, who apparently runs his practice like a CIA black site for celebrities, popped onto Instagram wearing his metaphorical HIPAA cape. His statement basically said, “Thanks Kylie, I was never gonna snitch, but now that you did—cool cool cool.”
He reassured everyone that he’s been guarding celeb secrets for thirty years with the intensity of Kris Jenner guarding Stormi’s first birthday party guest list. “No leaks, no breaches, just good ol’ glam,” he wrote, probably from a diamond-studded laptop while sipping collagen water.
But wait! Then Kris Jenner herself dropped in like the plastic surgery fairy godmother she is, gliding down from her cloud of contour and control-top Spanx, to add: “Garth you did my first facelift in 2011—14 years ago!!! You icon, you legend, you let our KUWTK cameras in to watch me get snatched on national television. An artist. A scholar. A saint.”
(Maybe not in those exact words but that’s the energy, OK?)
Let’s not forget: this wasn’t just any ol’ facelift—it was the facelift. The season 6 mid-season finale facelift. The snatch-heard-round-the-world. It was like the Super Bowl, but for Botox.
And because this is the Jenner-verse, where no face goes un-tucked and no procedure goes undocumented, Kris thanked him for being “a close and treasured friend.” Honestly, we suspect he’s in the family group chat and probably has his own “Kardashian Konfessionals” NDA handbook.
Oh—and in case you were wondering if Kris is done getting zhooshed: absolutely not. Mama’s still tweaking, still lifting, still living her best “AI but make it real” aesthetic life.
Final takeaway? If Dr. Garth Fisher ever writes a memoir, the title better be: “From Nip-Tucks to Momager Magic: The Scalpel Behind the Stars.”
And I will pre-order six copies. One for me, one for my surgeon, and four for whoever needs to know that beauty is always a group project in Calabasas.
💉✨
BREAKING: The House of Jenner Runs on Garth Fisher’s Scalpel and Secret NDAs
SOUND THE ALARM. HIDE YOUR RENT MONEY. THROW ON A BONNET AND A BONKERS ATTITUDE—because Keke Palmer and SZA are BACK! That’s right, our favorite chaos agents are returning to the big screen in a sequel to One of Them Days, which means more drama, more delinquency, and more decisions that make your therapist go, “…Why?”
According to Variety (aka the town crier of Hollywood), the sequel is cookin’ in the development kitchen with none other than Issa Rae stirring the pot again like a five-star chaos chef. And yes, the original dream team of writer Syreeta Singleton and director Lawrence Lamont are reportedly returning too—because why mess with perfection when you can double down on the nonsense?
For those who missed the first movie (where WERE you?), One of Them Days introduced us to Dreux (Keke Palmer) and Alyssa (SZA), two besties/roommates/walking hurricanes who find out Alyssa’s boyfriend used the rent money for God knows what—NFTs? A pyramid scheme? A new personality? Anyway, the girls go on an unhinged mission to pay the rent and not kill each other in the process. Think The Hangover but with better wigs and much more emotional damage.
The original film premiered in January and made $51.8 million, which is wild for an R-rated, female-led comedy—especially one where someone definitely tries to pawn a blender for bail money. Critics loved it. Audiences loved it. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 94% Certified Fresh, which is literally fresher than most of our produce drawers. (RIP to that sad cucumber from March.)
But wait—don’t go running to the box office yet. The sequel’s still in early development, which means the script is probably just a Word doc titled “CHAOS PLAN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.” But with this cast and crew? It’s going to be iconic. Maybe they lose their job, start an MLM, accidentally run for mayor—WHO KNOWS. We’re here for all of it.
In extra spicy news, SZA and Kendrick Lamar are currently playing Billboard ping-pong with their chart records like it’s a family reunion dance-off. Their song “Luther” just broke the Billboard record for most weeks at No. 1 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs Chart, sitting comfy for 23 weeks, sipping coconut water and ignoring the haters. This knocks out Kendrick’s previous record of 22 weeks with “Not Like Us,” which had KO’d SZA’s earlier record of 21 weeks for “Kill Bill.” Basically, they’re just passing the crown back and forth like Beyoncé and Rihanna at a wig boutique.
So, buckle up, grab your emotional support snacks, and start manifesting rent money that doesn’t disappear into your partner’s crypto account. One of Them Days 2 is coming, and it’s bringing the drama, the comedy, and probably another totally preventable felony.
Dakota “Unbothered, Moisturized, In Her Lane” Johnson has officially stepped out in New York City post-split from Chris “Coldplaying With My Heart” Martin—and she did NOT come to play. She came to SLAY… in shades of beige.
Our beloved Fifty Shades of Don’t-Call-Me-Mrs-Martin was spotted Wednesday (June 4) outside the Greenwich Hotel, probably leaving behind a room full of tissues, spa robes, and someone named Lars who gave her a $400 face massage that changed her life. Her breakup fit? A full monochromatic Cappuccino Queen Ensemble™—shades of tan so powerful, even the sidewalk blushed.
She rocked a wide-brimmed hat so large it’s now legally classified as shade, some ultra-dark sunglasses to hide the tear-free eyeballs of a woman who upgraded her man to “None of the Above,” and a Gucci purse big enough to fit all her Coldplay CDs (burned, broken, and blessed). Her flats? Simple brown—but deadly to Chris’s ego.
Dakota and Chris had been entangled in a lowkey situationship since 2017, the kind of relationship that was so private you needed a telescope, a VPN, and a PhD in Vibes to know what was going on. In 2024, someone somewhere claimed they’d been engaged for “years,” but LOL, plot twist! Turns out the only rings happening now are Dakota’s massive hoop earrings of independence.
And just to sprinkle a little petty on this breakup sundae, Dakota was spotted last month grabbing dinner with ANOTHER of Chris’s exes. Was it a power move? Was it just a salad? Was it a girl’s night coded in ancient breakup witchcraft? We may never know. But what we do know is this: Dakota Johnson is strutting through NYC like the post-heartbreak empress she is.
Some people eat ice cream and cry. Dakota eats the pavement in luxury loafers and causes sidewalk envy. 💅✨
Next stop? Revenge glow-up tour 2025. Let’s go.
🚨 DAKOTA JOHNSON HITS NYC STREETS LIKE A POST-BREAKUP ICONIC WARRIOR PRINCESS 🚨🚨 DAKOTA JOHNSON HITS NYC STREETS LIKE A POST-BREAKUP ICONIC WARRIOR PRINCESS 🚨
Ana de Armas is absolutely levitating (no, not with Dua Lipa, unfortunately) after receiving a cinematic thumbs-up from none other than Hollywood’s favorite adrenaline-addicted uncle, Tom “I Did My Own Stunts at 61” Cruise.
The iconic action granddaddy recently gave his blessing to “Ballerina,” Ana’s new spin-kick-sassy movie from the John Wick Extended Universe™, also known as: “How many ways can you eliminate a man with a teacup?”
Ana floated down the red carpet at the Los Angeles premiere on June 3, glowing like a woman who either just got a compliment from Tom Cruise or just found out her Uber rating hit 5.0 again. Speaking to E! News’ Will Marfuggi (who, let’s be honest, deserves hazard pay for dancing around these romance rumors), she said:
“It makes me really happy and proud,”
Translation: “Tom Cruise said he liked my movie and not just in a ‘you did great, sweetie’ way—HE ACTUALLY MEANT IT.”
She added, “It’s surreal,” which is code for “I am either dreaming or I just entered a new level of celebrity that comes with complimentary skydiving.”
Let’s rewind the romance radar real quick:
Valentine’s Day dinner? Check.
Helicopter joyride through London skies? Check.
Random teleportation to Spain in April like it’s a mission briefing? Double check.
Upcoming film involving a supernatural sea mission (??) where they presumably fall in love while battling Poseidon’s angry ghost? CHECK, BUBBLE BOY.
At this point, the public is less interested in the plot of “Ballerina” and more obsessed with whether this is a press tour or a soft launch for a Cruise-de-Armas joint couple’s Instagram.
Ana’s out here looking flawless, flipping assassins in stilettos.
Tom is somewhere parachuting into a volcano for espresso.
And the rest of us are frantically Googling, “Is Ana de Armas the next Mrs. Mission Impossible?”
Stay tuned. Or don’t. But definitely bring popcorn. 🍿
Addison Rae is no more. She’s shedding the “Rae” like it’s a clearance bin accessory from Forever 21. From this moment forward, the pop princess formerly known as Addison Rae shall simply be called… Addison. One name. No frills. Very Cher. Extremely Beyoncé. Spiritually Zendaya. Legally still Addison Rae Easterling, but let’s not ruin the moment.
Miss Addison (yes, we’re still adding Miss because we have manners) is about to drop her debut full-length album, and in case you’re wondering, it’s not called Pop Princess Diaries or I Dated a Hype House and All I Got Was This Record Deal. It’s called “Addison.” Yes. The album is Addison. The artist is Addison. The vibes? Existential glitter meltdown with a dash of synth-pop seduction.
You may recall her previous work, the AR EP, which was a pop bubblegum banger fest. But this time? She’s reinventing herself like a blonde phoenix rising from a pile of ring lights and paparazzi flashbulbs. With tracks like “Diet Pepsi” (carbonated heartbreak?), “High Fashion” (leggings, probably), “Aquamarine” (she’s a gem), “Headphones On” (a mood), and “Fame Is a Gun” (girl… are you okay?), Addison is giving us drama, camp, and spiritual rebirth all wrapped in one perfect Spotify playlist.
In an interview with Zane Lowe—who is now spiritually ordained as the Keeper of the Celebrity Emotional Confessional—Addison got all deep and misty about why she’s dropping the Rae like a bad WiFi signal.
“If you got introduced to me as Addison Rae, that’s cute,” she whispered through tears and lip gloss. “But I’m returning to my emotional core. My soul. My heart. My inner Addison.”
Translation: Addison Rae was for TikTok. Addison is for the Grammys. Addison Rae was giving “I’m dancing in a kitchen in booty shorts.” Addison is giving “I light candles and cry while listening to Lana Del Rey in a silk robe.”
She even spilled some small-town trauma tea: apparently someone from her high school introduced her as Addison Rae and she nearly combusted on the spot. “Excuse me, peasant,” she probably wanted to say, “you knew me before the contour! Before the LA glow-up! Before Kourtney Kardashian!”
It was a moment. A crisis. An identity shift. A spiritual awakening brought on by the misnaming of a teenage queen turned pop oracle.
“I’ve surpassed Addison Rae,” she declared like a girl who just discovered astrology and emotional boundaries in the same week. “It’s just Addison now.”
And so, the world must adjust. Your Spotify playlists must adjust. Your lips must never again say “Rae” unless you’re talking about sunshine or actual rays of light.
“Addison” drops THIS Friday, June 6, along with the music video for her new single “Times Like These”—which, judging by the title, probably involves crying in couture or slow-motion running through the rain.
Stream it. Tattoo it. Whisper it to the moon. Addison is here, and she is not just dancing anymore—she’s feeling. And if you still call her Addison Rae… prepare to be blocked, spiritually and emotionally. 💅💔🕯️
Welcome to the latest episode of “As the Custody Battle Turns!” Buckle up, babes, because DDG just filed a plot twist messier than a spaghetti fight in Milan.
So here’s the piping hot pasta: 27-year-old rapper-slash-YouTube philosopher DDG has hit the courthouse with a legal uno reverse card, trying to stop his ex, mermaid-turned-movie-mama Halle Bailey, from taking their 1-year-old baby Halo on an Italian movie-making adventure. Why? Because he says she’s a one-woman psychological earthquake with a side of drama marinara.
Now let’s rewind. Halle already got the judge’s ciao bella to go to Italy to film the movie Italianna (yes, with Rege-Jean “Duke of Hotness” Page). But DDG slid in like a last-minute airport security alert, screaming, “EMOTIONAL TURBULENCE INBOUND!” 🚨
In documents that read like a Lifetime movie script written in all caps, DDG accuses Halle of being emotionally unstable, physically aggressive, and even says she used AirTags to turn his car into a Find My iPhone thriller. According to Billboard (and now probably TMZ by the time you read this), he claims she once took his legally owned firearm during an argument and threatened self-harm, making the whole situation a level 10 emotional rollercoaster—no seatbelts included.
Oh, and he brought receipts, aka text messages with spelling that suggests autocorrect gave up on them halfway through:
“IM GOONG TO KILL MYSWLF TONIGHT”
“Please take Halo so he doesn’t have to see.”
Not exactly bedtime stories.
DDG says this behavior makes Halle unfit to take their baby boy on an international trip where there’s no California court to yell “order in the court!” when things go sideways. His lawyer was basically like: This isn’t Lizzie McGuire’s Italian dream trip. This is a custody crisis with a side of international panic.
Meanwhile, Halle’s attorney Terry Levich Ross stepped up in court like, “Lies. All lies. That’s not even in the group chat.” OK not in those exact words, but you get it. She said DDG’s claims were “not accurate,” which is lawyer speak for “he’s trippin’.”
The judge didn’t drop the gavel yet—she’s still marinating on this legal spaghetti. But we’ll find out if baby Halo is catching a flight to Italy or staying stateside soon.
Next hearing: June 24.
Next drama bomb? Literally any second.
Stay tuned, because this case is giving The Parent Trap meets Keeping Up with the Court Dates — and we’ve only just hit act two. 🍝👶⚖️
DDG Says “Mama Mia, Not So Fast!” – Tries to Block Halle Bailey From Taking Baby Halo to Italy, Calls Her a Danger and a Drama QueenDDG Says “Mama Mia, Not So Fast!” – Tries to Block Halle Bailey From Taking Baby Halo to Italy, Calls Her a Danger and a Drama Queen
🎂 BREAKING: Angelina Jolie Hits Level 50, Chooses Peace Over Party Cannons 🎂
ANGELINA “Lara Croft/Maleficent/Mother of Nations” JOLIE just turned the big 5-0, and instead of parachuting into a volcano or adopting a baby sloth from Mars, she’s reportedly doing… something shockingly chill.
According to sources (aka the likely haunted butler at her gothic estate), Angie is “genuinely excited and happy about turning 50,” which is amazing because some of us have a full-blown midlife crisis when we find a gray eyebrow hair.
BUT WAIT—no Kardashian-style champagne fountains? No Cirque du Soleil performance on a rotating moon? NO PRIVATE ISLAND PURCHASE?? Nope. Angie, ever the ethereal icon, has opted for a “more intimate celebration” with her squad of genetically flawless children:
👑 Maddox (23, international man of mystery),
🎨 Pax (21, probably brooding somewhere with paint under his nails),
🌟 Zahara (20, future UN Secretary-General),
🕺 Shiloh (18, can moonwalk into your heart),
🧠 Knox (16, lowkey Batman), and
🎭 Vivienne (also 16, highkey casting spells in French).
Apparently, Angelina is thriving and leaving the drama of her 40s in the dust like it’s an ex-husband and she’s speeding off in a bulletproof limo. “So much of her 40s were rough,” said someone who definitely has been banned from Brangelina fan forums. “But now? Less family drama, more ‘peaceful goddess sipping herbal tea while reading ancient poetry in a silk robe’ vibes.”
And here’s the kicker: she’s not dreading turning 50. In fact, she’s leaning into it like it’s a brooding French lover on a foggy balcony. “She feels calm, inspired, and excited about what’s ahead,” says another ~~mysterious insider~~ who may or may not be a talking swan.
She’s basically the anti-aging Benjamin Button of wisdom and cheekbones. Not hiding from getting older. She’s embracing it. We, however, are still emotionally 17 and afraid of commitment.
Anyway, if you need us, we’ll be crying in a corner wondering how Angelina Jolie just turned 50 and still looks like a mythical queen who feeds on moonlight and justice.
👑 Happy Birthday, Angie. Teach us your witchcraft. 👑
ANGELINA JOLIE TURNS 50 AND CELEBRATES BY NOT SUMMONING A DRAGON OR STARTING A CULT?? COLOR US SHOCKED.
Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin have allegedly called it quits again, and sources are saying, “Nah fr, this time it’s actually over.” Like… cue the Coldplay sadness piano and pour one out for the last indie-girl-meets-sensitive-rock-dad situationship of our era.
According to reports (and by “reports,” we mean a dramatic friend who probably cried while telling People magazine), “It feels final this time.” That’s code for: “They deleted each other on Find My Friends AND Spotify.” So yes. The breakup might actually be real.
These two have been together since 2017, which in Hollywood years is basically a silver anniversary. They’ve survived long-distance, Gwyneth Paltrow still existing, and Chris Martin’s obsession with whisper-singing into the wind—but not this. Not… whatever this was.
And plot twist: guess who Dakota was spotted dining with in New York City just after the breakup? Jennifer Lawrence. Aka Chris Martin’s ex-girlfriend from 2014–2015. Aka The Ghost of Coldplay Girlfriends Past™. Were they bonding over quinoa bowls and mutual Coldplay trauma? Were they plotting a girl-powered folk band to cover Fix You? Or did they just want a salad? The world may never know.
The last time Dakota and Chris were seen together was in January, holding hands and probably arguing about whether My Universe was a bop or a flop. Fast forward to June and it’s giving “soft launch of single Dakota Johnson who only wears sunglasses indoors and says things like ‘I’m actually dating myself now.’”
Anyway, stay tuned, because by the time you finish reading this, they might be back together again. Or married. Or Chris might have written a 12-minute Coldplay ballad called Dakota’s Moonlight Tears (feat. Post Malone).
2025 is wild, y’all.
BREAKING: Dakota Johnson & Chris Martin Break Up for the 4,000th Time, But This Time It’s Giving “Final Boss” Energy
Light a candle for Saint Jennifer of the Bronx, because Leah Remini just clapped back at those juicy rumors that she and Jennifer Lopez had a friend breakup so dramatic, even Real Housewives producers were taking notes.
So here’s the situation: Leah, Queen of Sass and High Ponytails, has finally addressed the whispers that she and her glam bestie JLo may have had a glittery falling-out. You know, the kind where one friend unfollows the other on Instagram and suddenly all of TikTok is in full-blown FBI mode.
Let’s rewind to the golden age of 2004: Paris Hilton was roaming the streets in low-rise jeans, and Leah met Jenny From The Block on a red carpet, probably bonding over lip gloss and anti-Scientology chants. The friendship blossomed like a well-watered ficus at a Beverly Hills spa. Leah was so in the inner circle she became godmother to JLo’s twins with Marc Anthony — Max and Emme — who are now somehow 17 years old (time is a scam, we’ve decided).
BUT THEN! (insert ominous thunder sound effect)
In August 2022, Leah was mysteriously MIA from Bennifer’s wedding extravaganza — a lavish affair full of doves, diamonds, and probably a hologram of Gigli apologizing for existing. The gossip mill erupted. Did Leah throw shade? Did she RSVP ‘no’ with a middle finger emoji? Did she just hate Ben’s back tattoo that much?!
Plot twist: she was just helping her daughter move into college. (Because she’s a mom and not a petty drama gremlin like the rest of us. Boring.)
Then came the eyebrow-raising twist: Leah did show up at Marc Anthony’s wedding to model Nadia Ferreira, sparking wild speculation that she was choosing Team Salsa over Team Benifer. Cue the “Leah’s a traitor!” fan fiction.
“Sometimes you don’t talk to people every day like you used to, but that doesn’t mean the love is lost. Friendships ebb and flow. That doesn’t mean we’re at odds.”
Translation: “We’re grown women with divorces, careers, and possibly a few Botox appointments between us. Chill.”
No catfight, no unfollowing, no sabotage. Just two powerhouse Latinas navigating life with sparkly nails, emotional resilience, and more ex-husbands than a ‘90s soap opera. ✨
Long live Leah & JLo. BFFs forever — just maybe with a few calendar conflicts and less frequent FaceTimes.
Leah Remini gets candid in this week’s cover story, opening up about the challenges—and the freedom—that came with leaving Scientology. Tap the link in our bio to know more about her current lifestyle.
Miranda Cosgrove just got Catfished by geography. 💅💔🗺️
In the first sneak-peek photo of Netflix’s upcoming cinematic rollercoaster The Wrong Paris, our queen Miranda (32, still aging backwards) reunites with Pierson Fodé (33, tall, hot, and previously seen trying to flirt with Carly Shay like his life depended on it in iCarly). Yep. That was his acting debut. Now he’s back, and probably still emotionally bruised from getting rejected by Carly on national Nickelodeon.
The Plot? Unhinged. We Love It.
Cosgrove plays a bright-eyed hopeful who signs up for a dreamy, rose-scented dating show in Paris. Ooh la la, right? WRONG. Try Paris, Texas, where the Eiffel Tower is made of scrap metal and probably has a raccoon living in it.
Once Miranda realizes she’s in cowboy country and not sipping wine on the Seine, she tries to get booted off the show faster than you can say “passport fraud.” But plot twist! The show’s bachelor is Pierson Fodé, and this man looks like a romantic plotline dipped in cologne and cowboy charisma. Suddenly, Miranda’s “get me outta here” strategy turns into “yeehaw maybe I love him?”
Who Else Is In This Yeehaw Frenzy?
Oh just a whole squad of chaos icons:
Madeleine Arthur – certified scene-stealer
Madison Pettis – Disney royalty, now grown and dangerous
Hannah Stocking – chaos queen of the internet
Plus: Frances Fisher, Yvonne Orji (YES), Torrance Coombs (the medieval thirst trap), Christin Park, Emilija Baranac, Veronica Long, Naika Toussaint, and Ava Bianchi. This cast list is giving “we made friendship bracelets and trauma bonded on set.”
Directed by:
Janeen Damian, who clearly woke up and chose romantic comedy anarchy — and we salute her for it.
When Can I Watch This Beautiful Mess? The Wrong Paris drops on September 12th on Netflix — just in time for cuffing season confusion and cowboy-themed heartbreak.
Final Thoughts:
This movie is a chaotic blend of The Bachelor, Emily in Paris, and a rodeo clown’s fever dream. Miranda Cosgrove thought she was getting croissants, and instead got chili dogs and feelings. And honestly? Same, girl. 🍷🐄🇫🇷❌
Stream it. Scream about it. Start an ironic cowboy hat trend on TikTok. Yeehaw, heartbreak never looked so chic.
Here's your first look at Miranda Cosgrove and Pierson Fodé in The Wrong Paris. Premiering September 12.
A woman desperate to get to France talks herself into a reality dating show set in Paris. Only to discover the show is actually in Paris, Texas. pic.twitter.com/S37sKsT0Sg
