BREAKING: The House of Jenner Runs on Garth Fisher’s Scalpel and Secret NDAs

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In news that could only come from the most glamorously surgically-enhanced dynasty on Earth, Kris Jenner just casually confessed that her face was zhuzhed up by the same Beverly Hills wizard who sculpted Kylie Jenner’s chesticles. Yes, guys, the same doctor who did Kylie’s boobs also gave Mama Kris her “Face 2.0″—and no, this is not a Marvel origin story… unless we’re talking Botox: Infinity War.

Let’s rewind.

This whole revelation exploded when Kylie (queen of lip kits and subtle shade) dropped a truth bomb in a TikTok comment like it was no big deal: “Oh hey btw, the twins were handcrafted by Dr. Garth Fisher, xoxo.” Cue the internet gasping, influencers clutching their iced matchas, and Dr. Fisher having a mini cardiac event in his Versace scrubs.

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But worry not! Dr. Fisher, who apparently runs his practice like a CIA black site for celebrities, popped onto Instagram wearing his metaphorical HIPAA cape. His statement basically said, “Thanks Kylie, I was never gonna snitch, but now that you did—cool cool cool.”

He reassured everyone that he’s been guarding celeb secrets for thirty years with the intensity of Kris Jenner guarding Stormi’s first birthday party guest list. “No leaks, no breaches, just good ol’ glam,” he wrote, probably from a diamond-studded laptop while sipping collagen water.

But wait! Then Kris Jenner herself dropped in like the plastic surgery fairy godmother she is, gliding down from her cloud of contour and control-top Spanx, to add:
“Garth you did my first facelift in 2011—14 years ago!!! You icon, you legend, you let our KUWTK cameras in to watch me get snatched on national television. An artist. A scholar. A saint.”
(Maybe not in those exact words but that’s the energy, OK?)

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Let’s not forget: this wasn’t just any ol’ facelift—it was the facelift. The season 6 mid-season finale facelift. The snatch-heard-round-the-world. It was like the Super Bowl, but for Botox.

And because this is the Jenner-verse, where no face goes un-tucked and no procedure goes undocumented, Kris thanked him for being “a close and treasured friend.” Honestly, we suspect he’s in the family group chat and probably has his own “Kardashian Konfessionals” NDA handbook.

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Oh—and in case you were wondering if Kris is done getting zhooshed: absolutely not. Mama’s still tweaking, still lifting, still living her best “AI but make it real” aesthetic life.

Final takeaway? If Dr. Garth Fisher ever writes a memoir, the title better be:
“From Nip-Tucks to Momager Magic: The Scalpel Behind the Stars.”
And I will pre-order six copies. One for me, one for my surgeon, and four for whoever needs to know that beauty is always a group project in Calabasas.

💉✨

BREAKING: The House of Jenner Runs on Garth Fisher’s Scalpel and Secret NDAs

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