Marlon Wayans’ LA Home Was Burgled, Star Speaks Out

Buy Me A Coffee

Breaking news! Marlon Wayans, the comedic genius behind “White Chicks,” has finally spoken out after his LA crib got hit by some seriously misguided burglars. Picture this: a 51-year-old star finding out his house was raided while he’s out living his best life.

Fast forward to Friday (July 5), and Marlon’s on Instagram dropping truth bombs in a video that has fans in stitches. Spoiler alert: he’s okay, and he’s got some hilariously harsh words for the not-so-smooth criminals.

“Yo, just so y’all know, those burglars didn’t score much because, well, I don’t own s–t,” Marlon quipped with a smirk. “The most valuable thing in my house is… my house. So unless you’re planning to put that on a truck and drive away like the most ambitious episode of β€˜House Hunters’ ever, congrats, you played yourselves!”

See also  Blake Lively's Legal Squad Drops the Mic on Justin Baldoni’s Team in Video Drama, Promises Courtroom Showdown

He flashed his ring and added, “See this? Fake as a reality TV show. It’s a heart rate monitor, not the Crown Jewels. No bling, no cash – just a mountain of debt and some maxed-out credit cards.”

In the caption, he doubled down with some classic Marlon wisdom: β€œGod is so Good. Everyone is fine. I’m grateful. Dear ROBBERS and OTHERS, I am the WRONG N***** to ROB. Save your energy. I don’t have anything valuable in my house except MY HOUSE. Sorry, I live a simple life with 2 cars, and one of them is a 1994 Range Rover that needs a jumpstart if you so much as look at it funny.”

See also  Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift's Kiss on New Years

And he wasn’t done yet: β€œRobbers, don’t waste your energy or your life on home invasions. That s–t is heavy!!! You wanna lug around all my junk and throw your back out for a pile of nothing? Go ahead. I repeat: I don’t own s–t valuable. No stacks of cash, no ice. Please, for the love of your lumbar, pick a better 🎯. Thanks and love you… still.”

See also  Justin Bieber Shows Off His Chest At His Friend's Birthday Party In Beverly Hills

Marlon Wayans, forever the master of turning a bad situation into pure comedy gold. Robbers, consider yourselves warned – next time, just ask for an autograph!

Comments area

Sidebar

Must Read

Boy George Slams Madonna, Says She’s “Too Full of Herself”

In the fantastical world of glitter and glamour, Boy...

Woman Tries to Steal Graceland, Blames Imaginary Nigerian Scammer, Fails Miserably

Some people collect Elvis memorabilia. Others visit Graceland to...

King Charles Jokes About His ‘Sausage Fingers’ During Coronation Rehearsal

King Charles is officially the reigning king of comedy!...

Rachel Zegler Walks Dog Lenny Like the Hero He Is After His Weekend Drama

Cue dramatic music and emotional montage of doggy hospital...

Ellen DeGeneres’ Netflix Comedy Special ‘For Your Approval’ Has A New Trailer

Ellen DeGeneres is back! That’s right, after six years...

Jenna Ortega Likes Pro-Palestine Instagram Post

It seems like our girl Jenna Ortega, 21, decided...

Ariana Grande Responds To Backlash Over Her Casting As Glinda In The ‘Wicked’ Movie

Ariana Grande, everyone’s favorite tiny-but-mighty vocal powerhouse, has officially...

BREAKING: Bethenny Frankel Packs Up Her Birkin Bags and Heads to Florida for Daughter’s β€œVibes”

Bethenny Frankelβ€”yes, Skinnygirl CEO, Real Housewives escape artist, and...

Kendall Jenner & Hailey Bieber Turn Coachella Into a Business Brunch With Glitter

Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber have officially clocked in...

You Might Also Like

Kanye West And Bianca Censori Spent The 4th Of July At A Science Museum

Kanye West and Bianca Censori decided to blast off...

Shawn Mendes Goes Shirtless In New Music Video For ‘Nobody Knows’

In an act of public service, 26-year-old Shawn Mendes...

Amanda Seales Opens Up About Her Feud With Issa Rae

Amanda Seales is spilling the tea on her relationship...

TikTok Influencer Maddy Baloy Dies From Cancer

So, brace yourselves for a rollercoaster of emotions. Maddy...

MrBeast Got Down on One Knee and Said, β€œThea, Will You Be My Player Two?”

Grab your confetti cannons, because internet megastar MrBeast, aka...

Lily Allen Calls James Corden A “Beg Friend”

Lily Allen is spilling the tea on her old...

BREAKING: Ice Spice to Save Bikini Bottom with Bops, Ghosts, and George Lopez?!?

The upcoming cinematic fever dream "The SpongeBob Movie: Search...