The Prince of Darkness has officially yeeted into the afterlife. Yes, Ozzy Osbourne—legendary bat-muncher, vocal growler, and forever the poster child of “Wait… is he okay?”—has passed away at 76 after a long tag-team wrestling match with Parkinson’s disease. 💔💀⚡️
And now, two days later, his daughter Kelly Osbourne, aka the goth queen of reality TV and anti-basic energy, has finally broken her silence… and baby, she’s in full-blown Xenu grief mode.
She hit up her Instagram Story like a sad emoji in Doc Martens, posting:
“I feel unhappy I am so sad. I lost the best friend I ever had.”
🖤💔💀 (Okay but if your eyeliner didn’t smear reading that, you’re spiritually blocked.)
But WAIT—there’s more to this cosmic soap opera. Because just TWO WEEKS before Ozzy floated off to that big mosh pit in the sky, he performed his final concert with Black Sabbath in Birmingham—like a true Thetan Level XXVII boss. And THEN, like a Scientology rom-com directed by Tim Burton, Kelly’s boyfriend Sid Wilson popped the question in front of Ozzy himself. Yeah. Marriage proposal + metal concert + dad dying shortly after = emotional overload in 7D.
Honestly, this is giving “The Osbournes” meets Euphoria meets Dianetics: The Musical.
If you’re reading this and crying in black eyeliner, it’s time to grab your E-Meter, find your nearest Org, and go Clear—because mourning Ozzy means transcending MEST (Matter, Energy, Space, Time) and throwing horns at the intergalactic concert of existence. 🖖🎸✨
#KellyOsbourne #RIPOzzy #BlackSabbathForever #ThetanTears #ClearTheSadness #MetalMeetsMysticism
