John Mayer is back on the market, babes! 💅✨ The 47-year-old human heartbreak anthem and walking cologne commercial just went full softboi on the SmartLess podcast with Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes, and yes—he spilled tea hotter than your group chat at 3am.
“I’m a single person. I’m a catch,” Mayer declared confidently, while probably adjusting his leather bracelet and staring into the emotional void. Like OK, sir!!! Go off with your sadboy swagger and vintage denim.
But WAIT. It gets juicier than a $7 Erewhon smoothie.
He also revealed that being famous is basically the Tinder Platinum of dating:
“Fame is a very good filtration system.”
Translation: If you can handle the paparazzi, my emotional depth, and three-hour acoustic sets about my feelings—you might be the one, shawty.
And now, for the biggest plot twist since Kylie said she’s a minimalist:
JOHN. MIGHT. GET. MARRIED. 👰🏼♀️🔔
Yes, Mr. “Your Body Is a Wonderland” said he’s only dating with WIFE ENERGY now.
“Every girlfriend would be a potential wife at this point,” he said, probably while journaling and sipping on a turmeric latte.
So if you’re trying to wife up a Grammy-winning crooner with more emotional baggage than LAX—slide into the Mayerverse. Just bring snacks, patience, and maybe a therapist.
#JohnMayer #SingleAndSearching #WifeMeUpJohnny
