Houston, we have… celebrity drama. The Space Sisters have blasted off, and the internet has combusted harder than a rocket launch with a WiFi outage. Yes, we’re talking about that all-female Blue Origin flight — a trip that’s been causing more turbulence on social media than in actual space.
Enter: The Jessicas. Alba and Chastain. Two women. One name. Zero chill.
Let’s break it down.
Blue Origin, Jeff Bezos’ favorite sky Uber, recently sent a girl gang to space. In theory? Cute. In execution? Controversial. The mission has been roasted online like a marshmallow at girl scout camp, with people asking things like: “What was the point?” “Was this feminism or just Space Barbie vibes?” “Can I afford this or should I just launch my tax return into the stratosphere instead?”
Quick FYI: seats on this zero-gravity girl trip start at $150,000. That’s just the refundable deposit. (Translation: Space is expensive. Like, Kardashian-sponcon expensive.)
Now, back to our celebrity Jessicas.
Jessica Alba: Space Queen Defender
Alba, looking radiant and unbothered on her Instagram Stories, basically told the haters to orbit off. She reposted a spicy take by political strategist Ana Navarro-Cárdenas, which went like:
“People are losing it over five women floating around in space. Meanwhile, actual real-life problems like Trump’s chaos parade are happening on Earth. Let’s maybe redirect that outrage?”
Translation: Stop yelling at women in space and start yelling at, like, actual problems. Fair.
Jessica Chastain: Shade Commander
Meanwhile, Jessica Chastain beamed down some judgment from her spaceship-sized intellect by posting a Guardian article titled (brace yourself):
“The Blue Origin flight showcased the utter defeat of American feminism.”
Whew. That’s not just tea. That’s boiling rocket fuel. ☕🚀
The article basically called the mission “empowerment-lite” — as if feminism had been filtered through a unicorn frappuccino. It critiqued the vibe as “girlish silliness,” which, okay, kind of sounds like a rejected Sailor Moon reboot.
So now we’ve got:
– Jessica Alba saying “Let the girls float in peace!”
– Jessica Chastain saying “Girl, what are we floating for?”
Twitter (sorry, X) is now a cosmic battlefield, and we’re just here watching with popcorn and a telescope.
One thing’s for sure: when it comes to feminism, billionaires, and space travel, the tea is less zero gravity and more maximum drama.
Opinion | The Blue Origin flight showcased the utter defeat of American feminism – The Guardian https://t.co/gG433jjEVW
— Jessica Chastain (@jes_chastain) April 17, 2025
