Hollywood’s tiniest powerhouses are trauma-bonding, and honestly? We love that for them.
Jenna Ortega, a 22-year-old Emmy-nominated scream queen and general spooky icon, has been getting real about the weirdly condescending nonsense that comes with being a child actor turned adult who still looks like she might ask you for help with her homework. She’s starring in an upcoming thriller called The Gallerist with none other than Natalie Portman — yes, Queen Amidala herself — and the two have been swapping war stories like veterans of the Baby-Faced Wars of Hollywood.
In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Jenna spilled the tea about their bond, saying she related “so immensely” to something Natalie said about how the world just cannot let go of seeing them as the tiny tots they once were.
“It’s like, yeah, I wore a schoolgirl outfit in a movie ONCE,” Jenna practically screamed into the void, “and suddenly, I’m forever Baby Spice, emotionally and professionally.” She added that being petite doesn’t help:
“When you’re short, people literally look down on you. Like, thanks for the double whammy of condescension!”
Jenna also shouted out her new Hollywood girl gang — Natalie, Natasha Lyonne (a human cigarette with perfect comedic timing), and Winona Ryder (queen of Gen X eyeliner and mystery) — saying befriending them has been “so beneficial and so cozy.” Cozy! Like a support group but with designer handbags and decades of cinematic trauma.
“They’ve seen some stuff,” Jenna noted, “like, truly dark, creepy Hollywood in the ’90s stuff. We’re all a little jaded, a little burnt, but still somehow hot. It’s a gift.”
Natalie chimed in with her own mini therapy session:
“We’re both so small that people just assume we’re 12. I’m 43. FORTY. THREE. And people still pat me on the head like I just finished my juice box.”
She added that most child actors develop serious “Don’t Talk To Me” energy just to avoid being cast in Preschool Cop: The Reboot.
Child stars grow up. They’re fierce, fabulous, and only occasionally haunted by the ghost of their former Disney Channel selves. And we? We support them. But maybe stop patting Natalie Portman on the head. She’s an Oscar winner, not a garden gnome.
