So…Jennifer Lopez, aka the Queen of Glitter, Abs, and Unproblematic Bangers, had to sit her kids down and hit them with some Real Housewives-level drama: she and Ben Affleck are calling it quits. Again. Yeah, turns out “Gigli 2: Matrimonial Boogaloo” isn’t happening.
In a soul-baring chat with El País (aka the Spanish Vogue of feelings), our girl J.Lo, 55 and still looking like a bedazzled disco ball of hope, opened up about telling her 17-year-old twins, Max and Emme, that Mr. “Why-Does-He-Always-Look-Grumpy” Affleck was packing his emotional baggage and leaving the building.
“I told them, ‘Listen, this is rough. Like, pineapple-on-pizza level controversial. But mama’s gonna be OK. Stronger. Hotter. Probably dropping a breakup album with salsa beats,’” she said. (OK, not word for word, but close enough.)
And guess what? She kept that promise. She’s now strutting through life like it’s a runway at Fashion Week for Divorced Icons, and her kids? Apparently thriving, possibly after being spiritually healed by her skincare routine alone.
“I’m happier than I was one year ago, two years ago, three… basically happier than when Bennifer 2.0 rebooted,” she said, lowkey humble-bragging about her personal growth like a wellness influencer who just discovered journaling and oat milk lattes.
ICYMI, J.Lo and Ben filed for divorce in August 2024 after two years of marriage and at least 74 blurry paparazzi photos where one of them looked emotionally constipated.
She also confessed that the past year was not giving “main character energy.” She canceled her tour, went through some “unexpected stuff” (we’re guessing emotional whiplash and maybe a few too many group chats with her therapist), and had what can only be described as a full season of her own internal reality show titled Keeping Up With My Emotions.
“People think the man defines you, but plot twist: it’s the character development arc that really matters,” she said, sipping metaphorical tea while leveling up in emotional intelligence like it’s a self-help video game.
To keep her mind and chakras in check, J.Lo went full self-care savage: reading, meditating, self-introspecting (a fancy word for crying in a silk robe), praying, and being the best emotional GPS for her kids.
And therapy? She’s done it all. Solo therapy, couple’s therapy, family therapy — probably even therapy for her houseplants at this point.
“I’ve spent the year dissecting my patterns like a scientist in a lab of red flags,” she admitted, basically saying, “Yes, I too have a history of choosing men who look like they’ve misplaced their will to live.”
But don’t get it twisted. She’s self-aware, she’s Zen now, and she’s not about to let the internet’s opinions mess with her energy.
“I know who I am. I’ve made mistakes. I’m not a robot. I’m just a highly moisturized, self-reflective human who occasionally dates Batman.”
And honestly? Same, J.Lo. Same.
