Y’ALL. ALERT THE CHURCH GROUP CHAT. Harry Styles has officially re-entered his “I’m hot, single, and feral” era and honestly? It’s giving main character energy.
The 31-year-old Gucci-coded glam god descended upon Glastonbury Festival like a sexy woodland sprite—wearing a blue jacket, red SHORT shorts, and zero regard for our emotional stability. Seriously, this man said “gender norms? Never heard of her” and then cartwheeled into the VIP area like it was a rom-com climax.
BUT WAIT—THEN THINGS GOT SPICY 🌶️
At some point during the glitter-soaked night, Hazza was spotted absolutely grinding, grooving, and LIP-LOCKING with a total mystery woman. Yes, the man who made “Watermelon Sugar” a euphemism is BACK to causing emotional damage.
👀 One festival spy reported: “Harry only had eyes for this woman” — which, rude honestly, what about us Harry??? They were apparently vibing so hard, you’d think someone cast a love spell using glitter, tequila, and a Lana Del Rey song.
The same source claims they looked “very familiar” which means one of two things:
1. She’s a long-time friend.
2. They met five minutes ago and Harry just gives off “I’ve known you since birth” energy.
Either way, we’re stressed. We’re obsessed. We’re texting every friend we’ve ever had.
So who is she? A secret lover? A backup dancer? A time-traveling groupie from 1973?
No one knows. But what we DO know is that Harry Styles is out here smooching in short-shorts like it’s a hobby, and we love that for him. And hate it. But mostly love it. But also cry.
#HarrySpotted #GlastonburyMysteryGirl #MakeOutInStyle 💋🔥🕺
@thesun Harry Styles passionately snogs mystery woman in packed Glastonbury VIP area #harrystyles #harrystylesvids #glastonbury ♬ original sound – The Sun