Halle Berry, our favorite Oscar-winning actress and all-around fierce mom, has decided that co-parenting with her ex, Olivier Martinez, is more challenging than all her action movie roles combined. So, what’s a supermom to do? Naturally, she’s going for the gold in the Custody Olympics by seeking sole custody of their 10-year-old son, Maceo.
Now, in the left corner, we have Halle, the 58-year-old superstar who’s mastered everything from kicking butt on screen to kicking off playdates. And in the right corner, there’s Olivier, also 58, who seems to think that co-parenting is a contact sport. According to Halle’s recent court filings (delivered by a courier who’s probably still recovering from the dramatic flair), Olivier is allegedly refusing to co-parent or communicate in a child-centered way. You know, the kind of stuff you’d expect from someone auditioning for the role of “The Most Unhelpful Ex Ever.”
But wait, there’s more! Halle’s court filing—which may or may not have been written in all caps for emphasis—claims that Olivier has been as cooperative as a cat at bath time when it comes to Maceo’s education, health, and therapy needs. The actress, who has been trying to get her son the academic and emotional support he needs, is basically saying, “Listen, either I get full custody, or I get the final say on all the important stuff. Pick one, Your Honor.”
These documents, dripping with parental frustration, were filed in the Superior Court of California in Los Angeles County. It’s been a whole year since Halle and Olivier’s divorce was officially finalized—a mere eight years after their 2015 split. Ah, young love! Or rather, “Ah, extended legal battles!” They had agreed on joint legal custody, with Halle generously handing over $8,000 a month in child support to Olivier, along with an extra 4.3% of any income she earns over $2 million. You know, just in case Olivier needed some pocket money.
But fast forward to today, and Halle is now waving a red flag, claiming she’s been battling like a gladiator for Maceo’s educational needs while Olivier has been playing defense like it’s the World Cup. The filing paints Olivier as a staunch defender of soccer practices over schoolwork, a strategy that apparently hasn’t done wonders for Maceo’s grades. Instead, it’s left the poor kid academically adrift and emotionally frazzled—probably wondering why soccer doesn’t have pop quizzes.
To top it all off, Halle’s filing suggests that when Maceo returns from extended stays with Dad, he’s ready to reenact his parents’ most epic disputes, like a one-boy theater troupe. And in a plot twist that could rival any Hollywood script, Olivier allegedly insists that Maceo is “old enough to make his own decisions,” which is quite the endorsement for a 10-year-old. Because who wouldn’t trust a kid with decisions more complex than “chocolate or vanilla ice cream?”
And so, the saga continues. Will Halle win sole custody? Will Olivier finally read a parenting book? Will Maceo score a goal at his next soccer match? Stay tuned for the next episode of “Custody Chronicles: The Hollywood Edition.”
